sadlife

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#curiosity #sadlife

Demons come in many forms, be it through the dark whispers in the night or the looming heaviness in the air in broad daylight. In other cases, it could be the voice of a lost loved one coaxing you. I've always been one to brush alongside the "dangers" in life. When you're so use to being abandoned, scorned, shunned and put "out of sight, out of mind", finding that Haven is hard. My Haven used to be in books, carried away on elaborate journeys, character defining moments and in a lot of cases, battles of wits and visualising the entireties until that too was breached and destroyed.

As time passes on, the languid touch of "just let go" became more and more appealing. It seemed like nothing was working, there wasn't anyone I trusted enough and due to being sent away to boarding school, making connections was more or less non-existent. Until I was 15, that concept hadn't changed in fact, things just got a whole lot worse. My biological mother wanted nothing to do with me, because I "stole" her "youth" and was adamant that I wanted to "rob' her of 'the love of her life". My older brother was removed from my life at an early age because our biological father used him as a punching bag.

How is it possible to put your faith, unconditional trust and loyalty in people when the ones who we're meant to protect you from harm are the very instigators that create more and more damaging and life-changing habits. Physical abuse fades after time... but emotional, mental and psychological abuse? It's a never ending nightmare

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Smile without want to smile

I always being crazy without wanting it to happen. for example My friends just telling me sad story very seriously and my face give a smile and my thought tell myself to stop smiling but more i tell myself to stop the more smile in my face act it so wierd if my friend think that im crazy when she dont kno i have bdp. It is embrassing for me to tell her im scare she dont want to be friend with anymore we have 15 years friendship i dont want just because my disorder my relationship broken. so sad. She is the only one friend i had. #sadlife

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

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𝖑𝖎𝖋𝖊 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖆 𝖘𝖔𝖗𝖗𝖔𝖜

When you hope for the best but you only get the usual, be grateful you are not the worst.if you can't use a fake smile try using a poker face. #sadlife #sadnest #sadpeople