Seeing

#Hearing things#Seeing things
I have been really trying to enjoy the last two days. While I haven't felt particularly happy, I have felt content. I don't want to go back to feeling like it takes everything just to keep existing. Despite the last two days actually feeling decent, I am scared. I feel like I am losing my mind. I keep seeing people, animals, etc. out of the corner of my eye. When I turn to look there is nothing there. I was turning into my neighborhood today and would swear I saw a grey car coming at me. I almost swerved before I realized it wasn't there. I have been hearing voices. Whispering. Sometimes I would swear I heard a deep masculine voice speaking loudly, but I can never remember what is said. Sometimes I hear a girl giggling. I have never told anyone this and I am scared. It seems to be getting worse. I'm hoping it is sleep deprivation because of my insomnia, but I have been hearing and seeing things for years.

So a friend from high school recently friended me on Facebook. I haven't seen her since graduation #class of '81'. I had moved to the next county over. Grades were easy for me, I was a bit socially awkward. I made it through and glad when it was over. I very rarely ran into anyone from school.
Tomorrow I'm going to my classmates house for coffee. Ironically, she only lives about 7 miles from me. I'm kind of excited but also very nervous. I used to tease her(she was heavy). Now, I'm heavy, lol. She says she was a jerk to me and feels bad. I told her I was the jerk. But anyway, wish me luck. She's also friends with other people I was friends with. So if all goes well....
I have let alot of friends go because they were users and people who don't fit in my lifestyle anymore. I could use new friends! New old friends! #nervous
awkward
new friends
#class of'81'