Insomnia

I got diagnosed with PTSD at the start of the year and CPTSD in the fall so quite new to figuring all this out. I have found a therapist who I have finally been able to open up to and we are starting to work on everything. Problem is actually talking about everything that has happened since I had a really bad accident 10 years ago that left me with a spinal injury has been really hard. I get it's going to be and that I have to go through it to help myself.
My sleep has got worse as the therapy has progressed to the point where 3/4 broken hours complete with horrific nightmares, sleep paralysis and waking up drenched in sweat- sometimes in the process of acting whatever it is out.
Last week was the first week I have had off since this insomnia started and I literally crashed physically and mentally without the constant to do list I maintain to distract myself. I collapsed and spent 2 days in hospital (not good when that's part of the previous trauma). Had to stop masking and call in sick to work for this week.

This crash has wiped my resilience completely and I came here to ask how do you pull yourself back up after a low caused by PTSD?
I'm struggling to see how to get back on my feet and continuing to fight on as I have the past 10 years. I'm normally a very tenacious person but I have lost the ability to just keep going.

Just woke up and it’s 3 in the morning. I take meds for sleep but for some reason I can’t sleep. I’m not experiencing all the typical symptoms of mania yet I feel wired if that makes any sense. I hope it doesn’t get worse. Or could it be insomnia? The only thing I’m afraid of is that the mania or insomnia will worsen the #PTSD and #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder . Once the PTSD gets triggered, I can go into a crying spell or experience intense emotions tied to the abuse and trauma I went through. In terms of the BPD, it can lead to black and white thinking which can make things even more difficult. So I’d like to know what exactly I’m experiencing. Perhaps it’s a combination of both. I’m not sure. Thank you for your response.
#Abuse #AbuseSurvivors #PTSD #BipolarDisorder #Mania #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Insomnia

Today I spent the day in bed. Didn’t talk much on the phone. Scrolled through emails, and desperately searched the internet for some info on why it’s ok to stay in bed the entire day. I didn’t find much about it, I found many things talking about why people stay in bed and it seems they are normally depressed. Although I do suffer from extreme anxiety and depression, I don’t think that’s it. Not today anyway. There has been many a day where I spent days in bed when my son was with his dad just because I didn’t feel like being part of the world. But now I do it probably once a week. I feel like I need it. I work a lot. I have a studio and I also work from home whenever I can. I am single mom to an 11 year old boy which is exhausting in itself. I’ve had insomnia for the last 20 years and although I take meds, I can’t remember the last time I woke up feeling refreshed. So once a week, if my schedule allows for it- I stay in bed. Some weeks and not often I stay in bed 2 days. And then there are weeks that I don’t at all.
I feel like I need to recharge and this is the only way my body can keep going- mentally and physically. I’ve spoken at length about it to my therapist over the last few years and she said some people work out, some people do drugs. Others lay in bed or sleep to recharge. But why do I feel like a useless, lazy piece of trash?! Anyone else? #sleepallday #recharge #Depression #Anxiety #Lazy #recharge