The Mighty Logo

The Skill I Learned From the Kids Who Picked on Me Because I Stutter

The most helpful emails in health
Browse our free newsletters

Dear Classmates,

Growing up, I was fortunate enough to go to school with a group of kids who rarely picked on me because I stuttered. I thank y’all for that. I know other people who stutter who were not as fortunate, who were picked on day in and day out because they spoke a familiar language in an unfamiliar accent. Unfortunately, though, there were instances when I was picked on because of how I spoke.

Although it’s been more than 15 years, I still remember these instances vividly. That time in the school library. That time in my third grade classroom. The times when I was made of fun behind my back. When these events happened, I was hurt. I was hurt because I was picked on for something I have no control over. I was hurt because I had never experienced that type of cruelness. I was hurt because my biggest difference was exposed without my permission. I was hurt because I got along with everyone and I thought that was a two-way street. These instances showed me it wasn’t always a two-way street.

Yet, these experiences gave me real-life examples of a skill my parents were instilling in me: how to forgive someone.

This skill is one the greatest things I ever learned because it is a skill that will last my entire life. Although I experienced much hurt by your actions, I experienced more peace and relief when I forgave. I could have easily held a grudge against you for the rest of my life, but I would be hurting myself more than your actions did. Instead, I forgave. It was a rough process. I wanted to harbor resentment, but I knew it wasn’t worth it. I let myself be mad, hurt, and upset and then I forgave you. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. I forgave because forgiveness brings peace for both parties and it takes up a lot less room in my mind and heart than resentment would.

This skill has been key in helping me grow as a person and in my relationship with others. Although I wish those times never occurred, they helped teach me an invaluable lesson. I guess hindsight, maturity, and many years of personal growth allow me to see the beauty in the pain.

In closing, no hard feelings. I haven’t forgotten these instances because of the impact they had on me growing up, but I have moved past them. I forgave you then and I forgive you now.

All the best,
James

Getty photo by dolgachov

Originally published: March 2, 2019
Want more of The Mighty?
You can find even more stories on our Home page. There, you’ll also find thoughts and questions by our community.
Take Me Home