When the Suicide Statistics Are Stacked Against You

As a transgender person, I have a 41 percent chance of attempting suicide. As a youth transgender guy, my changes are even higher. As a high school student, I have an increased chance of attempting suicide; one in six high school students seriously consider suicide, one in 12 attempt suicide. All of the odds are stacked against me, yet I’m still here.

And so I kept living.

I couldn’t imagine my dog going to my bedroom door and me not being there to let him in.

And so I kept living.

I couldn’t put my parents through that pain. I couldn’t imagine how they would live without their only son.

And so I kept living.

I couldn’t let him be the last person who talked to me, leaving him wondering what he missed. Leaving him wondering how he didn’t see I was at my breaking point.

And so I kept living.

I couldn’t leave them up at 2 a.m. every morning, wishing for a text. Their phone would never buzz.

And so I kept living.

I couldn’t leave her alone, without a best friend. No one should have to lose their best friend. Not like that.

And so I kept living.

I couldn’t have him questioning every day how “Are you OK?” wasn’t enough to say, “I need help. I need help staying alive.” I couldn’t let him regret caring.

And so I kept living.

I couldn’t let God let her down. Leave her without a friend who helped her keep an open mind and an open heart. I couldn’t let her think God had failed her. God makes no mistakes.

And so I kept living.

I couldn’t let the younger transgender kid at my school think that’s just the way the world works. Some of us live, some of us don’t.

And so I kept living.

I couldn’t miss out on my infinite opportunities despite my situation.

And so I kept living.

I couldn’t turn my dreams into ashes.

And so I kept living.

And so I kept living.

And so I’ll keep living.

If you’re thinking about suicide, you deserve immediate help—please call the Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386.

If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page.
If you need support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.