When Depression Makes You Question How Much More You Can Handle
How much is too much to handle before breaking?
The weight of depression is heavy, breaking the will of the strongest of people. I’ve been there. I’ve been to that point when fatigue and continuous battering drive you to your knees, desperate for rest.
However, I’ve reached another point too. It’s the point when you realize you have depression, but depression does not have you. This point is when the war you’ve fought for so long is won, you can decide which side gets the victory. Your ability to decide is how you gain the strength and courage to withstand the fight until the next decision has to be made.
How much is too much to handle before breaking?
Sometimes, breaking seems like the best option, the easiest way to escape the agony. Yet, the times when you win empower you to keep it together to conquer the next war. A life where depression has you is too much to handle, but a life where you realize you have depression is manageable. It is possible to live with depression without breaking once you realize you do have control.
Shed the weight of doubt, self-hatred and guilt before breaking. Build yourself up by reminding yourself of the truth. You are beautiful. You are loved and you are not alone. Decide to have the depression, but don’t let it have you.
How long is too long to keep holding on?
Hours spent begging to die fade slowly into days spent dreading this life. I’ve been there, to that place where dark days become dreary years and happiness is a distant mirage in the desert wasteland of your mind.
But I’ve been to a different place too, a place where a brief smile becomes a glimmer of hope and that hope slowly makes life bearable for the moment. This place is where a gentle hug reminds you that you are loved and that knowledge strengthens your grasp just enough to keep holding on.
How long is too long to keep holding on?
It may seem impossible at times, a feat requiring far more strength than you can muster. However, hold on for those brief smiles and gentle hugs. Hold on to the hope that moment by moment, life will slowly become bearable once more. Hold on to the hug that reminds you that you are loved. Let it strengthen your grasp when you’ve lost the strength to hold on to yourself.
Hold on to the truth. It is never too long to keep holding on, as long as you keep finding things to hold on to.
Image via Thinkstock.
If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page.
If you need support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. You can reach the Crisis Text Line by texting “START” to 741-741.
Hi! My name is Allie Widener. Depression and anxiety are very interesting to me because I experience both on a regular basis. My writing serves as the life saver pulling me out of the waves of depression/anxiety. I hope that it helps you as well. If you battle depression and/or anxiety, hang in there! Make sure to form a support group and always keep fighting. P.S. You can probably tell in my writings that the mantra that keeps me going is, “I have depression, depression does not have me”. I hope that you will use it as your mantra as well.
allie-widener