Today I woke up with a new hope, a new look on the life I’ve been dreading for so long. Most nights I don’t sleep even when I’m able to. It affects my work, me being a mother and so many other things. Some nights I go to bed hoping I don’t wake up.. then I wake up to my sons smiling face and I feel a little better. I try my best to fight my issues, I guess for years I never did deal with them. Some days I wake up and my first thought is wanting to find a bridge, some days I have to force myself out of bed. If it wasn’t for my son and my job I would most likely never leave my bed. I started self harming just because it felt good to give into it. But I hate giving into it. So today I woke up and decided, I’m not letting my demons win. Not today!! I always use the same thing when harming myself.. so today I threw them away. I’m going to try my hardest to win this battle. If not for me, for my son.. for my family who just lost my gram and wouldn’t want to loose me too. #imtryingmybest #Todayisanewstart #SelfharmRecovery #Depression #Selfharm #nottoday