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Completely hurt

Hi’s been a while—with stress at work and stress from someone who I thought was my bestest friend, and then my health has not been quite well’s just been a whirlwind for me..tonight being the peak of the iceberg..

I was having a conversation with who I thought was my best friend (the “guy friend” who I spoke of many many times before). I started crying over things I felt, how I felt about him, etc. Forgot what triggered it..but then He goes to me, almost in a nasty tone and says , “you need to stop crying..I told you this is how it is” etc etc. I then tried to explain why I was crying, to try and clarify it and he almost didn’t want to hear it. It was almost like he went from being caring to downright nasty. He goes, “you don’t understand—stop crying, pull yourself together” then twists it all about him about how screwed up his life is, then proceeds to tell me things I didn’t even know— yet he always claimed he never held anything back from me and always told me “everything”. I feel like at this point I’m being used—I deeply cared and loved this person but now he makes me feel like crap…but then has no problem moments after trying to flirt with me. He has a very messy past—and I feel it has only unraveled over time and to me, is affecting his mental health as he isn’t acting like how he was years ago when I met him…he almost is getting worse and I’m being the dumb schmuck with a good heart (I feel) who always tries to help him when he needs it—even in a pinch. But tonight , I learned A LOT! There is other woman aside from the “lady friend” I knew about (who only wants a friendship as she is repairing her marriage). In regards to my feelings and emotions/my crying he showed a rather flat affect to, etc and then has the nerve to not try and calm me down , but twists it to how messed up his life is, how he lives in a place where he has to be careful going in and out of where he stays as he shouldn’t even be there and if he gets caught he will be homeless (I know where he stays)..then goes on to how he has to scrape for money most times as he squanders it in some way or over spends when he does have even a little on him, etc. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I know I will see him at work tomorrow and I am beyond furious and so upset...I’m one of those types of people that once I learn I’ve been lied to or things were hidden from me when being told “I tell you everything” come into light and I find out, I question even that persons worth in my life and I question everything they even tell me. He is good to me in a sense but if he lied about the amount of women who contact him whom he claims he had no relations with but now I question that because if he held back from telling me about these 2-3 women, now it makes me think if he’s even truthful about saying that or even anything.

Trust is a hard thing to build with someone and I built it with him through the last 5 years but honestly, I feel he fractured it tonight..pointing blame at me as to why he doesn’t get with women (claims he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings so he doesn’t and doesn’t tell me about them), etc. But it hurt more that he never even told me about them at all. I never even knew they existed. I’d rather him leave me be and do whatever he wants. It almost felt like he twisted everything like I was to blame for everything.

I am a social worker and I cannot believe I didn’t see the signs of how bad this person may be. My mind is so blown that I know for a fact there’s a term for this type of person and I can’t even think of it because my mind is so all over the place and how upset, pissed, and angry I am. (Maybe those who may know can let me know what the term is—it’s on the top of my tongue but I’m so angry and it “escapes” me).

How do I even act around him tomorrow? Or even going forward? We work together and again, he is usually rather nice but trying to remember that while working and not thinking of the explosive night tonight that we had is truly going to be hard. It’s like my feelings meant nothing..I almost feel like calling out sick tomorrow..or if not completely taking off, going in late to work just to try and get myself mentally prepared. As of now, I feel physically sick and I’ve already been dealing with health issues and this was the last thing I needed was him being basically careless and lacking any sort of empathy.

What do you suggest, Mighties? What are your thoughts on this all?

It’s crazy how quickly someone was so attached to you becomes almost the opposite, almost like you didn’t matter to them—that you only matter when they need something from you—like money or something. Really really hurts. I even made comments before I left work and said “maybe I should just never return here”. That’s how upset I was as he had NO empathy on how I felt, it all always twisted back to him, his woes, and how he is “looking after me” and how “years from now, you will thank me”… I can’t…I just can’t anymore…it seems like anytime I open up to anyone they hurt me…😞 he makes me almost want to relapse to how I was many years ago and taking it out on myself….😞 I know that isn’t the best thing so I came here to vent and hopefully get my mind off of wanting to do that—although the image of all that went down tonight is alive and constantly on my mind—hard to sleep, hard to eat— I just want to disappear..😞

#MentalHealth #Depression #SelfharmRecovery #Anxiety #Anxiety

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They saved my life

To some people these are just animals. To me they are my babies, the one love tha never judges just accepts you & the amount of times I owe them my life. When attempts have happened they have helped to make me realise things

The Merle pup I’m proud of has just been accepted into an assistance dog program so I very excited it will cha be my life give me more confidence and ability to go out

I’m so proud of my dogs , every day I try now to make myself worthy of being part of their lives
#Dogs #mybabies #theysavedmylife #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #Selfharm #Love #myalways #Fibromyalgia #RaynaudsPhenomenon #dropattacks #badmobility #Diabetes #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Psychosis #SelfharmRecovery #Selfcare #happy #mypack #smile

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Dating with bipolar, trichotillomania and c-ptsd

I've been talking to a guy for a while know, and we're meeting up this weekend. He's started asking questions about why I'm on #Disability , what my #Bipolar (the only thing I've been open about yet) affects me and would affect us if we ended up dating. How and when do I open up about all the other stuff? I don't wanna #Trauma dump on him, but some of it really needs to be told so he can understand why I am the way I am. It's not something I'll be able to, or want to, hide. My #Trichotillomania gets bad when I'm #depressed , #anxious or get #triggered . Since I've been in a #depressive episode for a really long time now and struggle a lot with #SuicidalIdeation and thoughts about #Selfharm it's important he knows some stuff. I've been in #SelfharmRecovery for almost a year and a half and my scars are bad and ugly. I know he'll ask questions, and I have no clue how to open up to him as I barely know the guy.. Do you guys have some tips?

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May 21 | 9:01 PM (Journal Entry #1 )


I don’t feel good.

Depressed for some reason.

Not sad.

Not irritated.

Just so tired.

So uninterested.

So detached.

I was fine this morning.

Better at least.

Now my head hurts and

I don’t know why.

Now tears are filling my eyes.

Breathe them back in,

Don’t let them fall.

Breathe them back in,

Let them flood your heart.

Let them drown your chest

And make it hard to breathe.

I long for the day it all slips out.

It feels so good to cry, to weep.

But it’s been so long.

Trying to write myself a fucking poem.

Just stop.


I have nothing to say.

I never do when I feel like this.

Otherwise I can talk.

I like the person I am when I’m feeling fine.

But that’s only sometimes and it’s unpredictable.

How can I believe in myself?

How can I trust myself?

When I want nothing more than to not be awake?

I tell myself that I must persist, but why?

For those I love.

For those who love me.

My family.

My little brother.

But what about those without family?

How are there people who feel like me and don’t go through with it?

What are their reasons?

Who am I to be a leader when I myself want to burn?

You’re not you right now, Chris.

You’re consumed.

Let these thoughts pass.

Maybe in the morning you will be better.




#Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Selfharm #SelfharmRecovery #Journaling #Hope

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Self harm cycle

#Selfharm #SelfharmRecovery

Self-harm usually starts as a way to relieve the build-up of pressure from distressing thoughts and feelings. Although this might give a child or young person temporary relief from the emotional pain they are feeling, the underlying reasons still remain. Soon after, feelings of guilt and shame might follow, which can continue the cycle.

Because of the feeling of temporary relief, self-harm can become someone’s typical way of dealing with life’s difficulties. It is important that children who self-harm get the right support and help as early as possible. Learning new coping strategies to deal with these difficulties can make it easier to break the cycle of self-harm in the long term.

Any behavior that causes harm to oneself as a way to deal with difficult emotions can be seen as self-harm. It most frequently takes the form of cutting, burning, non-suicidal self-injury or other high-risk behaviors.

It’s important to know that most people who self-harm don’t want to end their lives.

Talking to a healthcare professional can help people who self-harm find other options for coping with the emotional pain.

You can refer to this:

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Four skills of DBT to prevent self harm

#Selfharm #SelfharmRecovery

There are four main skills used in DBT: mindfulness, distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness, and emotional regulation. All four are essential tools for overcoming self-injury and developing more constructive coping skills.


Mindfulness is a practice centered on developing awareness and acceptance of the present moment. It’s about learning to remove focus from the past or the future and direct all attention to what’s directly in front of you. Using mindfulness allows you to notice your thoughts and feelings as they arise then accept them without judgment. Detaching judgment from thoughts, feelings, and experiences is a key component of mindfulness.

Self-injury is an impulsive, reactional behavior based on extreme emotions. Mindfulness works by placing a pause between feeling the extreme emotion and acting on the impulsive behavior. With practice, this pause allows time for you to consider implementing another coping mechanism instead.

Distress Tolerance

Life is full of unpredictable ups and downs. You never know what you are going to face in a day and self-harm becomes a way to cope with the unpredictability over time. Distress tolerance teaches you to tolerate this uncertainty and the painful feelings that result. You learn how to manage your heightened emotions without resorting to harmful coping mechanisms.

The practice of mindfulness feeds into distress tolerance. Being aware of and accepting the present moment isn’t an easy thing to do but it’s a part of tolerating and working through discomfort. Distress tolerance is another way to place a pause between your initial thought or feeling and the coping mechanism you turn to.

Interpersonal Effectiveness

Self-harm often rises from difficulties with communication. You turn to self-injury instead of reaching out to someone to talk about what you’re going through. Interpersonal effectiveness focuses on building your interpersonal communication skills so you can express your needs instead of burying them.

In addition to teaching you how to ask for what you need, interpersonal effectiveness teaches you how to say no. You learn to establish and maintain boundaries which leads to a sense of self-respect and healthier relationships with those around you.

Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation is the most difficult skill to master but it’s also the most important one. Self-injury occurs during moments of extreme emotional highs or lows. If you want to overcome your struggles with self-harm, you must learn to keep your emotions on an even keel.

Emotional regulation helps you understand that emotions are not permanent and that feelings are fleeting. You can develop control over your emotions and eliminate your impulse to react whenever they arise.

You can refer to this:

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Mindfulness skills for self harm

#Selfharm #SelfharmRecovery

Much of the work we do with clients in DBT is rooted in mindfulness. As DBT therapists, we find the power of mindfulness to be incredibly grounding and effective in curbing unhealthy behaviors. Here are a few mindfulness skills for when you or someone you love is experiencing the urge to self-harm.


In mindfulness practices, breathing and the breath itself are important components. When you feel the urge to self-harm come up, take a breath. More specifically, take a long exhale first. This should last for a count of eight. Then, after all the air has been pushed out, inhale for a count of four. Try to do this for at least ten minutes before engaging in self-harming behaviors.

Urge Surf

When you feel the urge to self-harm, in whatever way that looks like for you, challenge yourself to put off the urge for a certain amount of time, then revisit it until the urge dissipates. For example, you feel the urge coming up, then set a 5-minute timer. Sit with the urge for five minutes. If it has not subsided by the end of your timer, set the timer for another five minutes. Keep sitting with the urge and resetting your timer until the urge has subsided.


When you feel the urge to self-harm arise, observe it. Sit with it and think about the emotions and body sensations that are happening internally. This can help you stay more present with the challenging emotions and sensations, instead of jumping to a solution that may be unhealthy. Sit with the feelings. Yes, it will be emotionally difficult. But challenge yourself to sit in the moment and let the feelings and sensations run their course.

Ride the Wave

This skill can be done during urge surfing and observing. While you are taking note of the emotions and sensations in your body, think about this: the urge to self-harm will peak and come down. Think of this as a wave. While you are observing what’s going on in your brain and body, the urge may intensify, then decrease, then go through multiple cycles. By sitting with the urge while it cycles, you are learning distress tolerance. This will help you become more resilient to the urge to self-harm both in the present moment and in future incidences.

Do Something Else

My last tip is to just do something with your hands. Preoccupy yourself with a task. Perhaps you choose to color, paint, draw, cook, knit, brush your hair, or paint your nails. The idea is to do anything to keep your hands busy while you are riding the wave and waiting for the urge to pass.

You can refer to this:

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Self harm recovery

Finally got one of the biggest items on my wishlist scratched off ive been wanting to do this for years, but being over 40 and with the arrival of 2 beautiful grandchildren over the last 6 years, it became more important to me to get these years of self harm scars on my arms covered up with something beautiful this is the best $300 I've ever spent I wish I would have done it a long time ago The feeling of not being so insecure and embarrassed is priceless this is amazing I'm so happy #Selfharm #MentalHealth #SelfharmRecovery #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #SemicolonTattoo

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