I forgot a very important date for my BFF today. She had an appointment for a biopsy and I completely forgot!  I had it in my calendar but I forgot to set the reminder.

I'm devastated.  Crushed.  Deflated.  She said she was disappointed and hurt that I forgot and I don't blame her. She said I can sometimes be self absorbed.  Here is what she wrote:

Honestly, I'm hurt you didn't remember.  You knew how scared I was and you said you would be "there every step of the way".

I was sitting in the waiting room at the hospital shaking like leaf and I get a text from you telling me how bummed you are about your job.  I listen to all your issues about anxiety, depression, money and/or job.  I may not always be able to to help you but I do pay attention.

I know this sounds harsh but I'm truly hurt that you didn't remember this ONE thing of mine.

I know you have tough time dealing with things day to day and I truly worry about you but you can sometimes be too self involved.  
If it's OK, I'm going to pass on Saturday.  I love you but I need a break".

We had plans to do some gardening at my place.  She's been helping me because I have zero gardening experience and her garden always looks so professional and lovely.

I can't imagine what she must think of me.  Of what her husband must think of me.

I'm truly devastated and not in a good place right now. She means everything to me. I did something to hurt her.  I don't know if I can ever forgive myself.

I totally get it. I do talk about my issues too much. I hope I have not lost my best friend of 34 years. I could not live without her. I'm such a burden and a bother and a loser.  FML.

#Nothappy #verysad #regret #Heartbroken #dissapointment