I'm not sure what to do anymore .

so I had read him a post from this app that helped me put my feelings n thoughts into words so I could explain it to him .

I got to a part where it said something about being sorry for making something so small into a big problem and that i dont mean to snap at you it's just my anxiety and I'm sorry for the mood swings and things like that .

after i read it at first he said nothing for 5 min and i watched the clock so it was 5 min exact .

I decided to start the conversation and ask what are your thoughts on your mind ?

his reply was "you know how it talks about how you get mad at me for little things and you get moodswings and something so small you make it into a big thing?" I said "yeah"

ge then replied with a straight blank no care in the world face and said "that's why I dont talk to you, that's why when you try tell me how you feel and vent to me I no say nothing kuz everytime I say something you get mad n snap like that thing said . you know how irritating it is to try to talk to someone when all they do is get mad I hate when you get mad for no reason its fucking annoying."

......

It took awhile for me to reply but when I did I said "I'm sorry I'm wasting both of our times . this is pointless I can only do so much to try an open up and try to explain n show you what I'm goin thru n how it isnt your fault and that I'm sorry . you literally paid no attention to what it was saying because anyone else that would want to hear that would not respond the way you did, they would not get mad n point out that that is what they get irritated bout let alone be upset after their gf opened up to them explaining all that their anxiety and depression affects are and apologizing for it ! you are pointing out that I get like that n ur mad bout it because you did not want to hear the apologies you only focus on the negative ! and I am trying to get myself out of this negative place I want to grow I want to move forward I want to defeat this and I wanted your help !"

I dont know if I'm wrong or right but this is my feeling n I feel IIit should be respected . but
I'm sorry if it doenst make sense and I'm sorry its it's so long n I'm sorry for being alive.
and I walked out of the room went to the living room and had an attack ...... #WhatKindOfAttack ? idk because I feel like it's becoming worst n worst . #help #IDontWantToBeCodepenent #Whycantijustfeelbetter #Whenwillthisend #Boyfriends #hestoxic #ToxicRelationships