#Porencephaly #story #exhaustion #help #Misdiagnosed #underdiagnosed #complexcase #26years #symptomlist #rejected #Support #LongPost
(If you took the time to read this your amazing, seriously!)
Hi. My name is Nick. I'm new here. As much as I loathe this, I'am a complex case. I've been dealing with an unusual dilemma. I get diagnosed with one set of diseases, then getting a second & third set of diagnosis that don't seem related to the 1st set of diagnosis. What do I mean? The genetic test are the first set of results. Then the porencephaly with other incidental findings are the 2nd set of diagnosis with the 3rd and most recent set being due to my throat symptoms: adult dysphagia, adenopathy, & neck crepitus with manual right shift of trachea." I can't be overthinking this but, I can't shake the feeling something is wrong possibly beyond the scope of porencephaly. I got accepted by nord for the campaign but that was about it. My rare disease submission never got posted & I got turned down by my geneticist for further testing with the remark of "There's nothing else I can do for you." *Even though I made mention of my cousin having a cyst that causes speech issues.* ( thanks alot.) Sigh* depressed face*. Oh well, guess I look forward. Along with neurology & spinal specialist in may I now have an neck ultrasound with possible echogram later this month on top of an ENT in late April. One might argue I'm doing this to myself but that would be the partial truth because I let something possibly dangerous get away with tearing me apart even though all the symptoms are painless.
Why? Why this sudden deterioration in health as of a year or so ago? All the waiting has lead to partial answers. I almost want someone to sit down & figure out what I should focus on treating & what needs to be ignored. Sometimes I wake up thinking about wanting to make a model train set or traveling to a distant place & enjoying it. Too bad the former is expensive & requires too much space for our basement. The latter doesn't happen enough for me.
I'm exhausted & ready to just give someone all my records/history & just say "figure it out." I've been wanting this to be over for a good while now but new things keep coming up & I feel like some time soon I'll stop going to doctors because I don't want to deal with the process of getting surprise diagnosis ten.
I've had issues since birth with a neonatal stroke that we now know has turned cystic & has given us a piece of it's mind having been through many doctor visits throughout my 26 years of my family & me searching for answers. Here's the rundown: List of symptoms
Larygnomlacia-infant historic
Tinnitus-started at age 15
Tmj-age 15
Eye tilting up-age 15
Floaters-age 15
Dysphagia*~2019 couldn't swallow liquid properly.
Pinched nerve in neck~2021 got better with chiropractic intervention diagnosed as pots.
Neck/throat clicking same time as dysphagia & pinched nerve. Got better with chiropractor but still have some dysphagia & throat clicking.
Feeling of food being stuck in throat*~2019
Recently diagnosed adenopathy, esophageal dysphagia, & neck crepitus.
Chiropractor caused spinal lean with digestive upset in early 2022. Digestion is ok now. But posture lean is still an issue.
Recently diagnosed through mri & x-ray with porencephaly (brain cyst) this took 26 years to diagnose, mucous retention cyst, hemosiderin deposit, choroid plexus cysts & scoliosis of upper region with mild lumbar retrolisthesis.
Grip weakness- started after leaving chiropractor in Feb. 2022
Alarming rate of deterioration from being relatively healthy to needing cane due to posture lean. Most recent symptom is waking up to my left arm on my chest & having difficulty keeping it straight.
There was a change in walking pattern as of a few years ago due to coordination challenges since toddlerhood.
At birth I had a neonatal stroke looking like a premiee at full term. There was an undescended testicle (corrected at 6 years), 2 small holes in heart that healed on their own, microcephaly concerns, intrauterine growth restriction though grew out of it very quickly to 6ft 3in, & thrombocytopenia at birth.
Have strabismus, nystagmus, hyperopia, optic blurring in right eye.
Posture lean causes opposing foot to stand on toes.
Followed closely as a child but was dropped when we moved states in 2011.
Been in colorado since june of 2017.
Use to have sensation in left arm of pulling sensation when peeing.
Genetics testing according to the geneticist is insignificant but carrier for cep290 maternally & have chromosome 4p31.3-32.1 microduplication syndrome paternally with unknown significance which falls under chromosome 4p duplication syndromes (only 85 in the world.)
Also have unusual anal quivering (seldom talked about)
Have seen multiple doctors including neurologist (seeing one in may.), 2 physical therapist, 3 chiropractors, , neuropsychologist (childhood), on my 3rd primary doctor & genetics. I'm also seeing a spine specialist in May.
In tears* someone help me put this all together because it's destroying me!
Hey, community! I’m in trouble. Let me explain. About five months ago I had a date with a childhood friend from my young brother. The last time we met we were like 12, and now we’re 30 and 32. We started our relationship with a lot of passion, spending a lot of time together… then, our fairytale turned into a nightmare. He started to charge me to be cheating on him. And I was not. Actually, we was cheating on me online with his ex-gf. Lot of lies, humor instability, rage storms. I cannot be alone or without him anymore. I’m a doctor and I drop out one of my jobs to spend more time with him to keep him safe. Nothing I do seems to be enough. I cut many relationships with friends off because he is jealous. I stopped going out with my friends because I’m afraid of his madness. I know BPD needs dialectical treatment, then I search for a doctor that diagnoses him with Bipolar Disorder, and, as we as community know, these conditions might be linked. He refuses to take his meds mentioning he forgot, or something.
I need help, community. I’m here for such a long a time, never right about my life before. I just read and learn, tried to help some people here.
What do I have to do to keep him protected, loved and safe?
I really love him and I think he loves me too.
I like need to get the things together.
I’ve never date someone with BPD before so I need to know some steps to help him.
Thank you!
Sorry for my english, I’m brazilian and I’m writing and putting some effort on it :)
Please let's all share our blessings in life that we are thankful for. In
dark and trying times (like right now), I try to always remember the things I am grateful for and remind myself that without any/all of them my life could be much less manageable
I am grateful for:
-Being alive!
-Being able to walk, even if I need mobility devices
-Having a roof over my head
-Having food on the table
-Having great doctors, nurses, my therapist, my shrink, numerous specialists and my clinic - and having the insurance to pay for them - as well as insurance to pay for my many medications!
-Having a strong network of family and friends and always being able to know that I am loved and supported ...and
-Having my relative health - things could always be worse!
What are you thankful for?
Maybe thank someone who you are grateful for and let them know how helpful they are and how much it means to you to have their support. Sometimes people don’t know how much they impact other’s lives!
#Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Chronicpainwarrior #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #Bipolar1Disorder #Stigma #BipolarDepression
#ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Autism #Dementia #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #BrainInjury #LossOfAParent #Grief #SuicideSurvivors #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #HIVAIDS #longtermsurvivor #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #MightyQuestions #DownSyndrome #IfYouFeelHopeless #Hope #Deaf #CongestiveHeartFailure #Migraine #COVID19 #PeripheralNeuropathy #LymeDisease #Diabetes #EatingDisorders #Headache #Stroke #help #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Fibromyalgia #thankful #grateful #EatingDisorders #CocaineDependence #drugaddict #PTSD #EmotionalHealth #physicalhealth #PainAcceptance #Acceptance #relief #Happiness #TheMighty #MightyMinute #MightyTogether #DistractMe #MightyTogether #mentalhealthwarrior #RareDisease #ChronicFatigue
I know this seems like a lot but I just would like some input on the subject. I am working on this in therapy and outside of therapy but it gets overwhelming. Any response is appreciated.
#SexualAbuse #EmotionalAbuse #PTSD #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Healing #help
I just actually ate something and I feel sick to my stomach. I either eat too much or not enough. It's like I'm addicted to losing weight. No one knows how down I am right now. I feel like I'll never be thin enough. Giving up is in reason. Can any of you help?#EatingDisorders #Depression #help
Ever since I was sexually abused and assaulted I find myself getting triggered at night. I am not afraid of the dark-I am afraid of what happens in the dark. I am trying to come up with a relaxing bedtime routine that involves calming music and meditation. Because the abuse only ended a few years ago, I still find myself crying over it. Depending on how badly I get triggered I have nightmares and can't breathe. If I am mildly triggered then I am severely anxious and want to escape. Problem is, I can't escape my thoughts or emotions. So what do I do?
A change in mood doesn't help either. I can feel my mood shifting from manic to depressed but I still have anxiety. I feel like my changing emotions impact everything else. I want to do a lot of things but struggle to do them. I find myself crying more often and wanting to sleep more-two signs for me of a depressed episode. The emotional intensity of Borderline Personality doesn't help either. Sometimes I feel like I have no control. Please help. I don't want to become so depressed that I go down a dark path -self-harm for example. It's been a few years since that has happened and I want to keep it that way. I am on a lot of medications and am in therapy but sometimes that doesn't seem like enough. I'm hoping someone here can reach out to me. Thanks.
#SexualAbuse #EmotionalAbuse #SexualAssault #PTSD #boderlinepersonalitydisorder #help #Anxiety
I am still struggling like mad but wanna give this distraction thing another shot even though I don't have the energy to respond to messages or comments at the moment. Here goes:
What is the major theme of the decor in your home? I am really interested in knowing your preferences when it comes to how you outfit your house.
Mine is overwhelmingly coastal: seashore, nautical, and underwater.
What is yours? I can't wait to read it and will respond to comments when I can.
Thank you, loves. #TheMighty #MightyTogether #DistractMe #distraction #Distract #help
The distraction isn't working. I can't stop crying. #checkinonme #MightyTogether #TheMighty #help #Grief #Crying #sad
How do you cope? I had to shorten my sessions and now I'm not sure how to convey everything I need to in a half hour. I guess I just have to find other coping mechanisms...
#Therapy #BipolarDisorder #Mania #PTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #help #coping