In my opinion, “having it all” is a myth. Society tells us that achieving the so-called American dream will lead to lasting happiness and fulfillment. But the fact is, that none of those things—success, financial security, marriage, children—are all a guarantee for a meaningful life.

Perfection is another illusion we endlessly chase. I know deep down that it doesn’t exist, yet for some reason, we still pursue it. We often see it reflected and curated through social media feeds, careful polished success stories, and the pressure to “do it all” without a single crack.

So why do we continue to hold up perfection, success, and “having it all” as markers of a life well-lived?

Because we’ve been conditioned to associate external achievement with internal worth. “Having it all’ becomes a rigid blueprint. It’s a checklist of milestones were expected to it hit be seen as accomplished, happy, or whole.

But that model is not only unrealistic—it’s misleading. It creates a false promise: that if we just follow the steps, we’ll arrive at the perfect life. It ignores individuality, personal values, and the messy, beautiful complexity of being human.

True fulfillment doesn’t come from checking off boxes. It comes from living authentically, honoring your values, and releasing the version of life that was never really yours to begin with.

Redefining “Having It All”

To me, the traditional idea of “having it all”—doing everything, being everything, and smiling through it all—isn’t just exhausting, it’s rooted in perfectionism. It assumes that success looks the same for everyone and that more is always better.

In reality, that mindset asks us to carry too much. It encourages overachievement while demanding we sacrifice rest, boundaries, and peace in the name of productivity.

So what if we redefined it?

What if “having it all” simply meant choosing what actually matters?

For me, that looks like:

Doing meaningful work that aligns with who I am

Cultivating a few deep, honest relationships

Prioritizing my mental health—even when the world moves faster than I can

Creating space for rest, creativity, and quiet joy

I choose connection over hustle. Authenticity over performance. Presence over perfection.

That, to me, is everything.

“Having it all is not about doing it all—it’s about honoring what truly matters to you.”

--Unknown

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