wheredoigo

I’ve never felt like such a piece of shit burden. My partner doesn’t want me, desire me, nothing. I just need to know that you still want me. That I’m not just a burden, but someone you used to crave and desire. Then you broke my heart. As I try and put the pieces back together but they keep falling apart. I miss the glow in your eyes when you’d look at me, your touch so gentile yet filled with desire. Now I’m someone you take care of, someone you nurse, someone you’re responsible of, not someone who used to make your heart race with desire and love. Instead I feel alone unwanted broken nasty repulsive. I shouldn’t hold him back, I shouldn’t weigh him down. He deserves to be happy, desired, loved, free. I shouldn’t hold you back. If only I could disappear, not holding anyone back, and let you be free. How much can one person hurt, how much pain can I take? So scared, so low, so broken, so defeated

I'm on the Disney college program but I'm not even working in the parks, I don't have many friends, I dread going to work and call out so much but there is nothing for me in new Zealand and yet every day I struggle and can't get through a week without wanting to break down at least once
#wheredoigo

#Depression