Relationships

It's christmas eve and today I'm really feeling the struggle of being in a relationship with someone who has complex ptsd. He chose to move in with me a year ago now and well that means we both live with my parents. My parents are the kind of people who make remarks and say jokes that are in the genre of putting people down. Now I have BPD because of my parents and my upbringing however I have done so much work on myself that I can mostly deal with living here for now (I had to move back in 3 years ago against my wishes). I generally make my own boundaries and make a conscious effort no to spend too much time around them and I also set verbal boundaries with them by being very blunt and telling them when I didn't find something they've said as funny.
However my other half isn't like and the past year he has mostly coped with it all quite well. That was up until a few weeks ago when my dad made a joke to my other half about his father and his upbringing (his childhood was horrendous). Anyway this triggered my other very badly and he still hasn't let go of the anger and I understand because with my BPD I still struggle with my anger and letting things go. But my partner darker side comes out when he is triggered and angry. I keep having him say things to me about what he would do to them and just generally not very nice things. Now I know he wont physically do anything to them if I thought he would I'd make him leave. But this does mean I'm now constantly on edge that an argument of some kind is going to come up any second because one of my parents will say something stupid and he will finally snap and saw awful things to them in return. I honestly just feel lonely right now and kind of lost on what to do? I just want to try and have a nice christmas as last year was awful but I already know that this christmas will be just as miserable and I have no idea how long this mood of his will last. It's my 30th birthday 17th January and. I havent had a good birthday in years and I can see his mood ruining that for me to if it continues.
What do I do?

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ComplexPTSD #PTSD

Hi, my name is cresy_blue. Am I actually slowly losing myself??(Yes, another mental health issue case or not, please be patient. if you are a therapist, I would love to hear your suggestions.)19F second-year computer application student.Recently, I cried during a lecture. Why?
Even I don’t know, maybe it was pent up, my marks just triggered this. I got 22/40, pretty average(I have scored worse), and I’m used to it, but the first time I cried, not because of marks, but because of how I saw that I’m failing myself. My friend, who scored low in every course, scored better than I did. no I do not blame her. I blamed myself. I know I could have scored better, but I did not even try. I just read for 2 hours before the exam. That’s it, crazy, never did I ever go so low.

And even if I had studied a day before, I know I could have scored, but I just couldn’t concentrate. I just put it off, saying I'll study it afterwards instead doom scrolled Instagram and reading thoughtless fanfictions. My brain has lost its sense of priority; this is not the first time either. I did this almost every exam, and because of that, I even have a backlog.

These days, every single time something doesn’t go my way, I get so frustrated. Recently, we had a fun week in which they had character day and mix-n-match day. but 2 days before the event, they changed into twin day and jersey day. I was swearing the building would just burn; the same thing wouldn’t have bothered me 3 years ago. I was prepared, and it didn’t go that way. Many times, similar minor incidents have occurred.

Is it pressure? I thought my mom was never in front of me, at least demanded to be a topper of my father: you passed great!My friends, most of them are smart. And I believe I don’t even have a toxic relationship with them either.Nor do I have pressure, not even a lecture problem; I have every resource and every gadget needed comfortable space to work, am I really just lazy? Yes, I have realized, but that does not help overcome my problem at all.

I have nothing unfair going on in my life, and I stopped doing my favorite hobbies; I’m getting less creative day by day. (feels improbable because I would be the most creative person you would have met in my school days) I’m putting off everything: assignments, study, hobbies, getting up early, going to sleep,(I even put off posting this).

I get tired, bored, or simply sad whenever I start to study nowadays (no, I was not like this before).Do you relate to this? Please suggest something to get over this. I don’t want to remain the same. I would love to hear your story. (No blaming pls I have drained myself doing that)
TMI: It has come to my attention that I have a normal period when I don’t go to college for months. Once the semester starts, I start having irregular periods.

#MightyTogether

I have had several of these over the years, despite the inference being it is a one off. Another name for it is suicide ideation. It's where you feel worthless and hopeless and want to die. It is based upon embarrassment about something you've done, a shame so deep that you no longer want to be here (alive in this world /living in this place / in this relationship / working in this job / being a member of this group - family, friendship, military or other service, sports etc). You feel you've let yourself and others down, fallen below your own standard of behaviour).

i guess that I am not alone what I have both diagnosis. I heard that singer Sia and enterpurer Elon Musk have both autism and bipolar. I guess there’s so many famous people who suffered from diagnosed and have their own talents. I feel misunderstood and some people hate me who I am because of my personality and interests that I am into cartoons and fantasy and even wearing t shirts. I don’t understand why I have both of these diagnosis because of running from my family members. I wish I were normal so that everyone will like me. They considered me as broken person. My mom and also some people say it is my fault what I have diagnosed of bipolar because of having mood swings and lack of sleep. I sometimes have trouble in relationship with my ex boyfriend because he did not want me to obey my mom, which made me hurt. My mom told me that he was not good person who he was that was since 5 or 6 years ago. I fell in love with him, but he used on me. I also communicated with therapist to plead him to communicate him, but the security placed me in hospitalisation that is why I have both diagnosis. I was being depressed even though taking medication caused me having side effects such as gaining weight and irregular period. I had different types of medication for several years ago, but now I am on right medication. I wish that my mom should understand and accept me who I am even though she is religious. I don’t think it is my fault what I have. She thought of me possessed by demons. I have like disease of mental. For instance, in Kuwait where populations have diabetes have awareness not mental illness. Usually, they stigmatized me. Not just in Kuwait and even other countries. When I was in class, gay guy did present about being stigmatized in Kuwait where they have lack awareness of mental illnesses, which made me cried who I felt. He said to accept yourself rather than others. He said to me that I shouldn’t not escape out of Kuwait and move to another country because where there is a lot of stigmatized and even being Islamophobic because my religion is Muslim. Even this female student who bullied me when I studied abroad in Vermont. She pushed a table toward me that she made a violence. I wish to stop stigmatized and being Islamophobic where there’s a lot of populations of Muslims and especially political situations where Israelis did genocide in Palestine. I think it is very sad society how they tortured and criticised as human beings even though having different religions and disabilities. Please be aware of those people did harm you and is better to stay away and be alone. Just focus on yourself and wish you a happy holidays