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Insert#avm #CPTSD #artheals

I have, not inserted myself into anyones life, in years, because I wasn't welcomed, I asked hard questions about things that has significance, in my life and no one to help me. I did ask, I was shunned, for asking.
Alot, of mixed https://messages.And I am hurt and alone, not by choice.
I've learned, no one will, be forth coming or transparent about the last couple years, with https://me.I was, and that person, welcomed me with open arms, at first, until, the people in their life, questioned https://it.Their patterns not mine.
Because I was a secret, an embarrassment,kept in the dark but I, did not know this. Until https://recently.All of my https://relationships.Its me, I get it.
And then they went after my https://son.So I removed myself, https://AGAIN.Not control, boundaries.
But that person couldnt handle the truth.so they trashed me, set me up, go after family but they,still continued to mess with my life. But are not in it.
This went on for https://years.And done it to others. I, am not the first. Now multiple people have been played.I'm, Not the one who deserves to be https://humiliated.Keep playing and I will, play fair. I wont be intimidated or threatened, anymore.
I am aware and Your perception is amusement, to me. All involved, playedyourselves.
You cannot play people for sport and when, they are watching, you try, to deny it, it is sick and it will return to you, ten fold.You, did that to my Son.
I wished many well, I keep working, on relearning and Im still, dragged backwards, by those, adiment on hurting me and https://mine.All in the guise of care. I'm not proving myself to anyone, https://anymore.My sons future, IS my concern,my heart is, broken and he never, should have been https://used.Keeping me in the dark is wrong.it has not and will not help and, now I am, done participating, for good. Im not a social project or a therapy session for people to free guilt https://from.Go play Jackass and Hero control complex,with someone elses life,please.Mines not for sport. I wanted him to have more, that was all. I did it alone,for years and everyone had conditions and I am through with transactional relationships.We, deserved https://better.And I see it all now.

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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is KickingAntbird469. I'm here because I have learnt something about myself that has scared me to my core, I have done things that I have either no memory of or a corrupted memory of, emotions and thoughts on a situation that don’t match what I feel about it after learning about what I have done. I’m a 2 year sober recovering alcoholic with past extreme sexual trauma.im here on a recommendation of a friend as I’ve been rabbit holing whilst trying to figure out what’s wrong with me since what ever it is that has happening has ruined a relationship with some one I love and care for deeply

#MightyTogether

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The randomness of grief and loss.

I woke up this morning in a crazy amount of pain. I had taken two different pain meds at 1am but when I woke at 8am it was time to take 4 different meds.

I started doing my daily leg exercises designed to help my leg recover from the major surgery it had 4 weeks ago. And frankly I detest those exercises because they bring on extreme pain but I know they are one of the keys to getting full use of the leg back.

Out of the blue are flood of tears hit me, and I started sobbing uncontrollably. I was puzzled where they came from and then clarity came, like a earth shattering bolt of lightning.

I am grieving. Grieving the crazy amount of pain I have had to endure the last 5 weeks. Grieving the $8000 in medical bills. Now, I can afford those, no problem at all, it’s just I would rather have been able to spend it on something more meaningful.

I am grieving the loss of dignity being in hospital brings. You have to discuss with the medical team information that is normally way off limits.

I am grieving the huge load others have had to pick up because of my limited abilities for awhile. My Wife doesn’t complain but I know she is exhausted. The last time I was in hospital she was there when code blue was called and she had to stand in a corner while 12 medical people attended to me and then hurriedly took me away for more surgery. That must have been the longest wait for her.

I’m grieving not being independent and having to rely on a walking frame, wheelchair and other mobility equipment.

As a Pastor I have learnt a lot about grief. Walking alongside people who have had to bury loved ones is an incredible privilege. Yet, here is the bottom line. The more I learn about grief the more I realise how little I know. It’s very complicated, very individual and it plays by its own rules.

I do know this though. Having shed so many tears this morning, I feel better for it. My physical pain is still easily getting my attention but in 45 minutes the main pain meds will kick in.

So many people on this app are dealing with grief. Most having to navigate much deeper and more painful grief than what I am experiencing right now.

This current situation has taught me, again, a universal truth. Grief is much better handled when you don’t try and do it on your own.

I have had over the years many people reluctant to visit a grieving person because “they don’t know what to say”. That is indeed a challenge. I then advise them they don’t have to say anything. Just be there. Some questions generally work well such as:
How are feeling?
Tell me about (the person who has died)?
What’s the most challenging thing you are facing at the moment?

Not facing this season alone has kept me from going down dark rabbit holes. Support from friends. Love from my family. People here on The Mighty. Gods voice. Medical practitioners.

I don’t normally like crying, at all. Yet, I am grateful for the tears this morning.

It is my hope and prayer that this post brings someone some comfort, wisdom and hope today.

#Depression #Anxiety #Grief #FamilyAndFriends #Relationships #Recovery #MentalHealth

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#Support

I have been struggling with depression,bipolar disorder,anxiety and PTSD since 2022 and ever since my life has never been the same. I have stopped attending any events and I struggle to go to work because I am afraid that I might get sick.I get panic attacks and I frequently have muscle pains(left shoulder,neck,jaw and sometimes chest pains).This has also affected my relationships and that is what led me to come here with hopes that I can find support,comfort and maybe connections with people who are going through the same as me.#Mentalhealthsurvivor

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Grief #CPTSD #avm #artheals

I haven't been able to greive,in the ways others have been https://granted.That was taken, from me, out of https://malice.I will never, understand, why an entire group of people, would do https://that.I have asked why, a million https://times.When others passed, I was also attacked with,anger, assumptions and contemp, for having emotions and feelings,and expressing https://them.Everybody else is allowed to talk, discuss, reflect but me, no.Nothing. I am nothing in that family, no one of value, no significance, to them, ever.
Why do other people monitor and dictate, HOW, someone else should, feel about death and loss.
I saw the dynamic and manufactured anger then, all that resentment towards me, for others gossip, between certain family members. And then they All fall silent when asked.
I have been away, getting therapy, finding peace and to now know, I am Still a topic of, toxic conversation, is as common today, as when I grew https://up.I hope those who excluded me purposefully know, it was calculated by them, for https://years.I watched them go after mine and then, they abandoned them, just as https://quick.The name calling, assumptions, backstabbing, lies, gossip, hearsay....that is them, that is why, I called them out and do not have relationships, with https://any.And they'd stutter, yell, deny and become meaner, https://everytime.Im used to these, family disfunctions and roles, all https://play.Just because there is a dollar,$$$ attached, doesnt change or lesson the https://dysfunction.Ive been addressing it, for too https://long.I am sad, for them and hurt by https://them.Imagine planning for something beautiful and it is tainted by mockery and https://lies.Those family dynamics, are going to backfire because the impact, is destructive and https://cruel.That circle, I though for my future, just imploded some more.to deliberately, take away, that grieving process, with others, is https://cruel.I waited, to reach out,because of fear, fear of being rejected again, by the ones who, I reached out to https://before.I know now, but it never makes it hurt less, no matter how old I https://get.I wanted to know my Son, would be taken in, loved and not used as a pawn, by others https://involved.Thats https://it.What is wrong with people? Seriously,never thought Id let more heartache in, but now,it doesn't go https://away.All of my fears, insecurities and pain, only confirmed,this past three https://years.Nothing https://more.Thank you, for showing me exactly what I already felt.no big mystery solved.Confirmed,dysfunction and destruction, from family.
I will no longer relive this pain brought on by them.

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A poem

HEALTH

TOGETHERNESS

MUSIC AND REVELRY

STEALTH

LIKE HUSBANDS CREEPIN IN WITH FLOWERS

LOVE IS THE POWER

OUR CARE FOR EACH OTHER THE SANCTUARY

A SANCTUARY DISTURBED

SUPPORT SHADOWED BY TRUST AND UNTRUST

HELL AND HEAVEN IN LOVE

RELATIONSHIPS GAINING STRENGTH BY STEPS

AND A LISTENING EAR

THIS TIME OF YEAR

DO WHAT YOU CAN TO HELP

DON'T FALL INTO A DESPAIR

A DISREPAIR

WE HAVE FAITH AND ANSWERS

MANY

WE HAVE THE ABILITY TO FORGIVE

AND LEAD OURSELVES

SO MANY HAVE GIVEN US THEIR WISDOM

IT FALTERS, BUT EBBS AND FLOWS

OUR MEMORIES OF SONG AND STORIES

OUR GOOD FOOD SHARED

OUR CHILDS ALMOST REARED

OUR MISTAKES SOUGHT MORE WISDOM

OUR NURTURING WAS SAID THANK YOU FOR

ONCE UPON A TIME

WE WEREN'T TAKEN FOR GRANTED OF

WE LIVE FOR JOY IN EACH OTHER

WHY SEVERE A RELATIONSHIP

BECAUSE a Dreamers' Dreams got briefly thwarted

WE'RE rich with Each other

WE'RE STRONG WITH EACH OTHER

OUR WORDS OF FRIENDSHIP GO TO HEART

I THANK GOD FOR ELDER WISDOM

AND THE FREEDOM TO CELEBRATE

WITH FAITH

BIRTH, PEACE, TOGETHERNESS

SHELTER IN A WORLD THAT IS STRIFE

STRENGTH FROM FRIENDSHIP

STRENGTH FROM SELF

GOOD HABITS

GOOD HOSTESSING

GOOD THANKS

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What Is Illness Anxiety Disorder?

What Is Illness Anxiety Disorder?
Illness Anxiety Disorder is a mental health condition. It is characterized by an intense, persistent fear or belief that one has a serious illness, despite minimal or no physical symptoms. Unfortunately, the bad news is that this mental health condition can lead to excessive health-related anxiety, checking behaviors, reassurance-seeking, or avoidance of healthcare, significantly disrupting daily life and relationships. Thankfully the good news is that this disorder can be treated with therapy like CBT, sometimes medication, and by focusing on managing anxiety and reframing health perceptions.

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