Headache

Well I think I found a trigger for some of my neurocardiogenic syncope, big weather change. We have this lovely snow storm going on anddd I woke up with the most excruciating headache but said to myself “meditation will help you”. Short story short, I had to hop off of my meditation class because my heart rate tanked and I tried fighting it but I got realll close to passing out. Now it’s been 20 minutes and I still can’t stand up without starting the neurocardiogenic syncope symptoms.

The Rose: I’m glad I found a second possible trigger. My first is sudden changes in temperature.

The Thorn: I’m in a snow storm and I live alone. Today is one of those days I wish I had a partner. I feel very alone.

#NeurocardiogenicSyncope #Anxiety

I would love to hear your experience with getting the baclofen pump trial. I understand it's like a lumbar puncture, but hopefully with less likelihood of getting a spinal headache. I had an awful spinal headache for 5 days at my last spinal tap so I'm hoping it'll be nothing like that! Thanks!

Pauley keeps yelling at me for having greasy hands. She yelled at me for putting one fingerprint on her bag of salami. I'm sitting here trying to schedule my rides for all of my appointments over the next month. I'm actually struggling with -vaguely gestures to all of me- and I don't know how long I'm gonna be able to handle it on my own. I'm stressed out cuz Pauley is going out of town for a convention next month. It's not a big deal, except for the fact she's going to be with her QPP and she has said some nasty stuff about me over the last few years. We went to the movies with her and her husband a few months ago. It went well. I don't hate her, I don't know her well enough.
I think I'm hungry but I have a bad migraine.
Pauley is asleep on the couch next to me and I was just minding my own business and my darling stupidhead let loose a very loud fart. I jumped and I might have yelped in fright. She thought it was hilarious. Then she went back to sleep.
My neck kinda hurts. I don't know if it's cuz of my eye disease or cuz I didn't wear my glasses this week. I finally put them on and my vision is utter shit. My eyes are blurry and I see double. I wish today would go faster.
I'm in so much pain and I need to call my doctor's office to schedule an appointment with my Opthalmologist surgeon and with my headache specialist. I need to get both of them to communicate with each other so we can work together. I'm so glad I have Pauley to help me talk to my doctors at my appointments.
I'm hungry and thirsty and Pauley is asleep still. I gotta go figure out what to make. Popcorn chicken or broccoli in some Alfredo sauce. And my migraine is at 8.5 right now. I can feel it in my eyes and I can feel it in my hands. I don't understand how my eye surgeon said I'm not a candidate for the surgery. She didn't really say what her reasoning is.
I gotta get my doctors to communicate with each other so we can coordinate the right care. I'm so tired of this constant migraine. The constant nausea and dizziness are not easy to ignore. I have some 8mg zofran but they haven't worked lately. I need a break from the constant migraine and GI distress and hips and back pain.
Time for...oh. it's too late for going out for dinner.
I guess I gotta go make food for dinner. But Pauley is very asleep. I feel like if I try to make Alfredo broccoli she's gonna wake up and be upset with me for cooking for myself. But my hunger is stronger than my fear of Pauley being a cranky pants.

I was getting ready for bed an hour ago. Then my tummy started hurting really bad. Usually I get sick in the very early morning. And it doesn't usually hurt this much. And it's bleeding again.
I was supposed to talk to my doctor yesterday about the hemorrhoids. Years ago I had really bad external hemorrhoids that required surgery. Then I developed internal hemorrhoids and they bleed very often.
My last scope found ulcers. But I didn't followup cuz my other conditions were all flaring up and I was on my own and I had to do everything alone. I had to make a judgement call to focus on my hips and back. That led to back surgery.
I forgot to call my eye surgeon and my headache specialist to schedule appointments. I've got an appointment with my headache specialist for Botox injections this coming week but I really don't want it. It's very painful and dosen't help. I'm gonna see if we can talk about the connection between my migraines and my bilateral exotropia. I need my doctors to communicate with each other so we can get the more serious stuff taken care of.
I got over $300 in groceries today. Not a single one of them were mccains potato smilies. I've been craving some for months. But I'm also craving shawarma and cheese fries
no actually I'm craving poutine with sweet potato fries, BBQ sauce, shredded pork, loads of cheese and guacamole.
and honey walnut shrimp and an eel roll with cream cheese, avocado, roe, and eel sauce. I love eel.
Pauley and I decided if I'm feeling ok later today we can go to the thrift store for new winter clothes for her. I'm mostly looking for hoodies for myself. I need to get maternity clothes. I've got one pair of maternity pants and they're amazing. But I got a size too big.
I feel really yucky.
When I started this post it was 556am. It it now 7am.
And...um... My libido is high. I haven't had a sexual urge in 7 years. In fact merely talking about sexuality made me nauseous. And here I am with a mental stiffy. Fun times.

I bet some of you wonder what health issues I've got.
I've got hip issues: *bilateral femoral acetabular impingement *bursitis *osteoarthritis
I've got lumbar spine problems:
*Stenosis *fat deposits on my spine crushing my sciatic *osteoarthritis
I've got a really awful migraine disorder...
Being caused by my bilateral intermittent exotropia.
The only way to make the migraine stop is to do surgery on my eyes but my surgeon doesn't want to do it cuz she says I'm too old. So I gotta get a letter from my headache specialist to give to my eye surgeon.
It's kinda funny how my eye surgeon says I'm too old and my hip specialist says I'm too young. Funny in an angry and in pain kinda way.