Headache

I went to the ER last Friday. I fainted twice Thursday night, probably hit my head on the heater and it was also vinyl hardwood. Roommate said the fridge was pulled out, I was trying to get a drink. When I sat up, the trash can was pushed back a couple feet. The ER did a CT scan, it was clean. All tests were. I got Tylenol and an Ativan because I was scared with the CT scan and hospitals are extremely triggering. They did prescribe anything. They did not look at that back of my head even though it hurt like hell. They didn't even check my eyes. The headache only let up yesterday. I know this may be POTS or something. They want me to wear a heart monitor as well.
Monday, the doctors appointment was telehealth and I don't drive and the local disability bus is having more delays and with how sick I've been it's impossible. She refused to listen tho. She refused to listen about what wasn't working. She told me to go back to the ED. I said something similar to this: I seriously was debating ending my life due to pain and the treatment I've been receiving. Got cut off here and was told: are you threatening suicide? I will call the cops.
I said no. I'm safe. I have a lot of things going on. She also didn't mention any of the ED notes or anything I told the nurse, the appointment was about 5min.
My psychiatrists medical assistant was confused as to how that was a threat. I also fired my counselor yesterday due to him on Monday flat out ignoring a trigger then saying he only does 12 sessions but gave me more. Sunday had stuff happen too but I don't want to get into it.
It's been trainwreck after trainwreck going on two weeks now. Mom, dad and brother also have covid. I don't live with them or am near them.
#SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #MajorDepression #ChronicAnxiety #CPTSD #Autism #ChronicPain #help #PanicDisorder #MedicalTrauma

Weather is really giving me nerve pain and a headache could really use some prayer 🙌❤️☹️

What to do in case of strange unease of the mind? #unease #discomfort #disorientation

I was experience deja vu or anxiety I don't know everything I doing daily basis recently I getting future visions of accidents of my dog missing on while going walking I am shut down while my dog running away and route I walk with him I experience like I seen this before and little visions with blur and more about my next depression hell visions.And having daily headache or tension headaches and rumination and dissociation and imagination arugement and self negative talk few I don't absorb and sleep disturb between middle of night. Please help ,this was more like painful or self gaslight myself if I don't know what happening.

#CRPS ...I actually had a great morning. Sun was out, arm felt pretty good, pain was low (for me that is!), and hubby is home! Around 2:30...it all went to hell. Not unexpected because I'm dealing with 2 newish things. 1. Occipital headaches on left side. Doing PT and scheduled to try trigger point injections. Very hopeful. 2. Mr crps wrist,right of course, will no liner lay flat when i put hand flat. Feels like its twisting. Ortho won't see me...great. pain doc and I communicated and referred me to my primary with a scan on it to be done. I have primary appointment in a week. I'm thinking its time for rhuematologist???? The fear of losing total use of wrist is overwhelming. Yes, i am aware it could happen. I have been working hard on keeping the arm lose and flexible. I know I am losing that battle. Then I picked up something kitty knocked over..not smart as it was heavier than I can handle. Now the pain is over top, headache kicked with pain. I'm curled up in my cocoon of blankets trying to be warm. Nightly ritual. I'm overwhelmed, hurting and tired. Too much to think about. Know tomorrow will be better...here's hoping. Thanks for listening/reading. Needed a safe place to spill this out. God love ya all!

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There’s just so many things wrong with this damn planet. My mind decides to go through all the bullshit and how I think about it/respond to it nearly every morning and nearly every afternoon, and it’s driving me crazy.

Most folk drive me crazy. I believe that most folk are terrible, ignorant, gatekeepers, hyprocrites when they say that they support others, hypocrites when they say that others can be themselves, and find anything they don’t see in their eye “normal” a stigma, weird, a disorder, or “cringe” (I despise that word especially), and no one can convince me otherwise because I can’t trust most folk because of what I’ve witnessed… I’m sorry.

It’s causing me a headache now which I didn’t fucking ask for. Oh well.

#Anxiety #MyAutismIsNotADisorder #SocialAnxiety #anger #Society #Ugh