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How I Overcame 10 Years of Being Stalked By My Childhood Abusers

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Editor's Note

If you’ve experienced emotional abuse, sexual abuse or assault, the following post could be potentially triggering. You can contact The National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline at 1-800-656-4673.

You can contact the Crisis Text Line by texting “START” to 741741.

I was 18 years old when the stalking began. It did not stop until 10 years later. I had three stalkers and what they did has impacted me significantly. My stalkers were my childhood abusers and their son — my biological family. I was abused and neglected from a young age and spent 14 years of my life in foster care prior to being adopted by my forever family. Once I turned 18, my world came crashing down.

• What is PTSD?

The stalking started with my abuser’s son stopping by my home, uninvited, with letters from my childhood abusers. I had already been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety and depression. Stalking made all of these conditions worse. I was scared and confused. To this day, I am still trying to reestablish a sense of both physical and mental safety. Stalking impacted my ability to feel safe in my own home, university and work settings. The experience impacted my soul and my faith.

Each letter I read flooded my mind with all the trauma I had endured. I remember, early on, my attempts to stop the stalking ended with a verbal fight over the phone and with me in tears, shouting and screaming. There were many attempts and scenes similar to this. During one of my last physical encounters with my stalker — it rattled me to my core and I froze because that is all my body knew what to do — I felt as small as the little child who had been abused all those years earlier. The nightmares occurred almost every night.

I took legal action to get the stalking to stop, and thankfully it finally has stopped. Not everyone can afford an attorney and I know the legal system can be complicated and intimidating, but it is not impossible. Restraining orders are not that easy to get; I know, I tried. During the whole ordeal, I felt super isolated. I did not know that, according to the U.S. Department of Justice, 3.3 million adults are battling with stalkers. What I want to say is this: If you are being stalked, please know there is help out there and people will eventually listen. For me, sadly, it took 10 years for people to see what was happening.

After my stalking, recovery was pretty significant and long. I went to psychotherapy for two years and worked really hard to get to where I am today. I reached out to friends and family and leaned on them for support. My depression, anxiety and PTSD caused me to have a lot of fear and to be hypervigilant. I changed my phone number, name and blocked my stalkers on social media. These are the measures I took to protect myself and my family. I work on my recovery each and every day. Each day, I am closer to feeling safer. Each day, I am closer to healing. Each day, I am stronger. Stalking is one of those subjects that do not get talked about enough. This was my experience. Today, I still have symptoms of PTSD, anxiety and depression, but I am thriving. I am giving back. I am raising my voice as a survivor and in support of others who have been stalked. I am healing.

My hope is that you will see there is life after being stalked and that you can overcome anything. You are, after all, a member of The Mighty and that means you are a fighter and can face your battles.

Photo by Borzoo Moazami on Unsplash

Originally published: May 5, 2020
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