The Possible Hidden Dangers of Working With the 'Wrong' Doctor

As in so many areas of life, it is hard or often impossible to know what you don’t know or to recognize what hidden issues or dangers are out there.

When you are dealing with doctors and medical issues, what you don’t know and the hidden dangers of staying with the wrong doctor can be disastrous and even life-threatening.

The effects of staying with a “wrong” doctor can vary from mild frustration to long-term effects on the quality of your health care.

Changing doctors isn’t easy or for the faint of heart.

I get it. Finding, meeting, and working with a new doctor is a lot of work and can be scary too.

Let’s take a closer look at some of the possible hidden dangers of staying with the wrong doctor.

Danger #1:  The emotional and/or psychological effects.

When a doctor is dismissive or assumes symptoms are stemming from anxiety or depression, it can have a huge impact on you and your loved one’s emotional and mental health.

How many of us have been told that it is just anxiety? Or if you make them go to school they’ll feel better?

What these dismissive doctors seem to forget is that we only come to them after doing everything we can to help with the issues at home. We know our kids, we know our bodies and when we make the effort to get help, it’s because there is a real issue.

Before you doubt yourself, remember that it is just one doctor’s opinion and that not every doctor is the right fit.

Danger #2: Delayed or lack of appropriate, effective care.

So your doctor is not dismissing your symptoms, but perhaps is also not willing to look beyond the “normal” cause for your issues.

Maybe they hesitate to write a referral or they drag their feet when doing it.

Perhaps they don’t know about rare diseases or don’t “believe” in your rare disease  — or think that it is too rare for it to a be possibility.

Sometimes they will prescribe a treatment that not only doesn’t help, but actually makes you worse, or is contraindicated for your rare diseases — such as lactated ringers with mitochondrial disease or medication that contains ingredients you react to with mast cell diseases.

What all of these situations have in common is that staying with the “wrong” doctor can result in delayed or lack of appropriate care for you or your loved one.

Don’t waste time and energy fighting with the wrong doctor. Instead, focus on finding and working with the “right” doctor who can help you get the care you need.

Danger #3: Absence of support and unwillingness to advocate for your care.

My favorite primary care doctor was a family practice doctor who only worked part-time. She loved learning and researching new things, was a phenomenal care coordinator and advocate, and believed the patient-doctor relationship was a true collaboration.

The office staff knew to schedule a double appointment for our regularly scheduled appointments. Many of the appointments were spent following up with specialists via phone or email together, or working on paperwork and authorizations for insurance.

I knew we were working together as a team, that she had my back and that she would step in and advocate for me, when and where I needed her to.

When you are working with the wrong doctor, you are at high risk of not getting that support and not having a person within the system who is willing to advocate for you.

And in an extreme case, the wrong doctor can result in inaccurate statements or diagnoses in your medical records that affect future interactions with other doctors and your ability to get appropriate care.

Sadly, the wrong doctor may even result in issues with child protective services (CPS) and charges of medical child abuse. In these cases, having the right doctors who will stand up for you, support you, and advocate for you can make all of the difference.

Finding the right doctor is important for your safety and for getting appropriate care. Think of how good it will feel to know that you doctor has your back and is willing to work with you, not against you.

So, I encourage you to take a look at each of your doctors and figure out if they are the right one for you.

If not, move on, protect yourself, and enjoy the safety and benefits of working with the “right” doctor. After all, you and your loved ones deserve this kind of supportive relationship.