Abuse

Hi, my name is bubbles36. I've been diagnosed with EUPD. feel a weight has been lifted off my shoulder. in a week of taking medication that’s finally working after an 8 year battle of knowing I wasn’t depressed I knew there was something more. emotional abuse from childhood trauma and no one helped not parents, no one. I was told from a young age I was a brat, this person was no good, I was going to end up like this person (this person being my dad) and the people I love desert saying this was my mother and grand mother. I was an absolute hell raiser to live with that even I hated the person I had become. I drove the father of my 2 gorgeous children away and I loved him so much! the positive I am taking from finally being diagnosed is….. I’m free from always thinking I was a bad person when in actual fact there was a mental health issue that had been misdiagnosed really for over 25 years thanks for listening!

#MightyTogether #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

CWs: extreme food restriction

I had a trauma-related nightmare about my mom last night. I was going to see her today, but I just couldn’t do it. The nightmare was like reliving some of the worst things she’s done to me, and it really rattled me. I’ve been trying not to go into panic mode. I’ve been feeling very depressed as a result. I have complex PTSD from how she treated me as a child and as recently as me being an adult. I wish I could have a relationship with her, but she refuses to get help for her behavior or acknowledge her mistakes. To her, it’s everyone else’s fault but hers, and she isn’t afraid to put the weight of the blame on innocent children. Her being so controlling to the extreme of my underage siblings (for a while she was even banning foods like rice and grapes (she said they had too many carbs and sugars. I was always hungry growing up) is also very triggering to me. I’ve tried to talk to her about it, but it’s only resulted in me getting more hurt. I’m not ready to open up about all the horrors she’s unleashed on me and my siblings, past and present. Sometimes it feels like I’m still stuck in it because I care about them so much. But that’s a stressor for another time. ☹️

I’ve been slowly but surely cutting back the time I spend around her. I know it’s the right thing to do, but it still hurts. Everytime she does something to hurt me or my siblings it’s harder for me to be around her. It’s getting to the point where I almost can’t be around her at all.
I’m just feeling down and alone right now and thought may as well come here to say something. I miss her. It’s hard to cut ties, I’ve really resisted it, I’ve worked hard so that I might still be able to see her on a regular basis. But my body remembers the things she’s done to me past and present and it’s making it almost impossible for me to have a relationship with her without being triggered or having a panic attack. I’ll get to her house and be racked with panic to the point of not being able to go inside. I want to see my siblings so badly, but seeing her makes it harder for me to be okay even on the days when I don’t see her. This is just a tough situation for me, and I’d appreciate any kind of support right now. ❤️ #CPTSD #ComplexPTSD #PTSD #Abuse #panic

I wish the government would recognize the fact that me having panic attacks over, having to fill some forms out, might signal that I’m not well mentally, and probably not gonna be the best candidate for holding a job. 

I applied for disability, because I am just that, I’m disabled. But I’m not disabled in the way that I can’t take care of myself. I can’t work a job because I’m learning disabled. And because I have POTS my circulation issues make me physically disabled. And I have a bruise on my brain which means permanent damage which part of my brain literally died. Just a small part thankfully, but come on, a brains never going to be the same after that.

I don’t understand things business things number things rules regulations just I don’t get it. I understand freedom of speech and love and compassion. I understand, teamwork, all working together as one, not answering to people who are higher up.

And I get that there have to filter out the people who are just trying to abuse the system, but when my voice breaks as I state the words “I really don’t want to be on disability“ instead of asking me why I am applying then, an emotional person would realize wow she must be going through a hard time in life. These days everybody is just so quick to judge and question and accuse, everyone misses the gravity of the words I say.

And if I had the money coming in I could focus on my writing and facilitating the Support For Survivors group, rather than worrying about going viral and building my following so I can start getting paid to create content. I don’t want to do this for the money. I want to sell my story for that, but first I have to write it… and I can’t do that when I’m this stressed over the biggest evil in my life… money, and finances, and being looked down upon because I don’t work.

youtu.be/0RAlHcfFKSs

#MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD

youtu.be/0ID_AaW9Clk

Hi everyone. I hope all your hearts and minds are being kind to you today. I've never been on anything like this before and have no idea what to expect. I guess I could start by saying a bit about what is going on...

I recently got out of a very abusive relationship which is taking a heavy toll on my mental health and self worth. I ignored the aftermath of the effects for a while, but they are for sure catching up to me now! I've been pushing myself to keep doing university although I find it way too academically easy and unchallenging. I am SO bored. But have been trying to distract myself from the abuse as much as possible. Recently, I got into a car accident (thankfully all is okay) but that feels like it added more trauma to an already shakey system. The car was non functional after the accident... yeah, it was pretty bad.

I realise that I keep ignoring myself. And I'm almost terrified to share the details of what happened because I can't live it again. I don't want to believe that he could hurt me so much. I don't want him to have that power over me and I'm livid. I have the opportunity to be on a year abroad and want to do so much. But my depression makes me feel like I can't. There is no energy in my tank to do the work and keep going. I did want to hurt myself a few times and had super dark days. And I think I need a semester off to regroup but I am eating myself alive saying that I am not worth it. And that I have to prove I am enough by going to university. I feel stuck between wanting help and getting out of this, but so drained and held back and incapable of making descisions and trusting myself.

Just feeling so stuck at the moment. I don't know how to not attack myself for feeling bad. Its a pretty painful cycle and I feel shame for being like this.

Thank you for reading, I appreciate your time.

I’m new to the group, usually read but never post but I really need some advice. I live in a house that’s shared with 6 others. I’ve lived here for 3 yrs and 2 months ago the last vacant room was rented. This man has created a situation with parking by blocking others from utilizing the driveway. I politely addressed it with him and he responded with intimidation and displayed aggressive behavior. My anxiety went 0-100 immediately, I addressed it with the landlord and he addressed the lease parking rules. Problem I now have is the landlord requested that man n I talk to resolve our conflict BUT I CANT DO IT!! He has also submitted a FALSE complaint saying I was hostile?? I can’t handle conflict! I start shaking and have been ever since the he yelled at me. Im now very uncomfortable in the house, try not to run into him and now Im being directed to have a face to face with him!! What do I do?? He’s a trigger now and I hate the way it’s affecting me physically!! The landlord or a normal person who’s not experienced longterm emotional and physical abuse has no idea how difficult it is to function in this situation. I feel like I’m right back in the midst with my abuser where I cowered in a corner! How am I supposed to talk to someone who makes me feel this way???? Nobody understands!!!

Hi, my name is Summer74. I'm looking for help regarding what happened in my childhood things I can not remember. I lost the first ten and a half years of my life that my brain has blocked out. Things that I can remember on how to deal with all the thoughts in my head and how I am feeling inside and how to feel normal again. I have never felt norma how I was brought up and abuse I NEED HELP

#MightyTogether #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #Migraine #Grief

Hi, my name is hardworkingmama. I'm here because I am having trouble with not only dealing with my mental health but dealing with two boys with mental health problems. The boys are 12 and 11 years old and I had been taking it in all by myself til six years ago my SO came into our lives. The 11 year old accepts him as sad and will listen only 50% of the time for him. My 12 year old will not accept that he is not leaving and is gonna stick around. My SO and I haven't had the best relationship due to his inability to not have relations with other women. Or his violent outburst toward me and sometime the kids if he doesn't get his way. Our family now has seven people and i and exhausted from all of it. I stay at home with the kids and he works full time right now. He hasn't been able to hold a job for more then a year and then has a four month lapse until he feels motivated to work again. I am paying all the bills with the boys SSI and I am constantly broke cause bills come first. I am a survivor of sex trafficking and the boys were held away from me and in order to see them I was forced to sell my body in order to get to see them. I escaped and got us the help we needed mentally. Ever since I have struggled with my mental health and trying to regulate them has been especially hard for me. I find myself running from it all and am super sensitive when I hear loud noises. I can not get the children to listen and help around the house with the simplest chores. (Dishes, laundry, garbage, cooking, bathrooms toilets, everything is my responsibility. They feel it's my job to do it all and they just sit around and not help. When I ask for help they say that they don't have to and wont comply. I've just about had it and I don't want to have a mental breakdown. My SO doesn't want to work on the older Childrens issues because they are not his bio kids and he works and doesn't want to deal with it when he gets home. I can't even get him to help care for his two babies ages one and two. I am struggling har because I repeatedly told him that I didn't want anymore kids. I knew I couldn't mentally handle it with the boys behaviors. But Covid happened and one thing led to another and I became pregnant and then 6 weeks later New Year's Eve happened and I got drunk one time after Charles was born and then I found out I was pregnant again. So now I have five kids and none of them will help me cook clean or help the babies. I'm just exhausted and want to know that I'm jot the only one that feels like this. I feel like giving up and running away but my kids would suffer to much and hurt to much if I ever walked away. So I just deal with all the abuse and trauma and stuff my feeling deep deep down

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #PTSD