Join the Conversation on
28.5K people
0 stories
6.2K posts
About Abuse
Explore Our Newsletters
What's New in Abuse
See full photo

Verbal Abuse

I just now realized that my mom is verbally abusive.. And has been since I was a child. I cannot fathom that it took me 20 years to finally realize it. Has anyone else experienced this?

I also read an article that talked about the impact of verbal abuse (provided in the picture) and sadly it all makes sense.. My mother definitely negatively impacted my brother and I… Its terrible when your own parent is a bully.

#Abuse #Bipolar1

4 reactions 2 comments

A beautiful Sunday

Sitting here working on my first cup of coffee enjoying the sound of nature and the quietness of a subdivision in Florida which is rare. Then it’s time to get up on the hopefully dry roof to do some recaulking and some trim painting before the afternoon heat and rain begins. My wife is extremely anxious as we are about to lose her cousin who’s like a brother to her from Cancer. This week has been great for the mighty! First, applause going out to Jessy! You have made great strides in progress my friend. Next applause going out to practicalturtle who in my opinion is facing the root of all the abuse she has put up with. Stay strong and do not fear! Her post actually was so intriguing that I got out of bed and had to reread it and comment about it. There are somethings in life we just don’t understand. Hopefully all members are doing well as each day goes by. On that note, it’s time for 1 more cup of coffee lol….David

33 reactions 5 comments

Can a person with #DissociativeIdentityDisorder live a normal life?

Disassociative Identity Disorder is the
chameleon of mental illnesses.

Its sole purpose is to allow the host to live a normal life.

You can’t live a normal life if at an early age thedeveloping brain is constantly switching, or is occupied by the trauma memories.

You’ve all kept a secret to protect a loved one, correct?

DID is just that. It’s a protective shield.V6

With DID, comes amnesia - a total or partial loss in memory.

Often the individual will remember their abuse, but will have no feelings attached to the memories. They may notice their behaviour, actions and mood shifting, however, to them, this is normal -

“Everyone experiences mood swings, so what?”

“We all have a bubbly and assertive side, right?”

You make excuses for yourself.

You know there’s something not quite right with you, but you can’t figure it out.

You ignore the red flags.

Sometimes it’s better to be left in the dark, to not know.

But with one trigger, that could all change.

Once you find out about your DID, the amnesic barriers slowly begin to break, never entirely, but piece by piece.

The host, the identity which may or may not be the core, the identity which is meant to be left in the dark, slowly gathers information from the internal world.

The voices which communicate within, the other alters, who will not actively choose to expose themselves without an intense trigger, start learning about one another.

For the person with DID, this feels like a re-birth, but an excruciatingly difficult one.

Years of not being able to answer the question, “who are you?”, slowly begins to make sense, although the journey for the person with DID never stops.

How hard is it for you, as one identity, to figure out who you are and what you stand for?

Let’s try to imagine that times 3, times 10, times 100+.

The person with DID is not meant to know for this particular reason.


Bully for you

After an exchange, following a post elsewhere on the site, I felt compelled to post on the subject of bullying. A lot of standup comedians in the UK, said that they started their careers after being bullied at school and turning into the class clown to disarm such attacks. This reminded me of the Roger Corman film, The Sorcerers, starring Boris Karloff and Vincent Price as waring warlocks. In one scene the former fires a cannon ball at the later, who immediately turns it into a bunch of flowers.

We need to disarm attacks but that means changing the situation into a less threatening one, through humour or not taking it seriously.

I once delivered leaflets for a supermarket and one of the lads once threw a plastic container at me, to which I quipped, I didn't know you had the bottle (it was plastic, so not dangerous). For years I have had to put up with verbal abuse by smart arse youths, who think I am effeminate I suppose (wolf whistles and rude gestures and suggestions). I don't see myself as they see me, so don't know how I look to them, when walking but needless to say I hate it and only have avoided it by living in big towns. It is country bumpkins, who seem to have the edge on this attitude and why I hated where I came from for that reason hate it here and the last place we lived

2 reactions
See full photo

Autism, A New Approach

Seeing a report about a Dr Vermeulen's approach to autism is interesting from several angles. Firstly, it points out the need to approach the situation from an insider perspective, rather than an outsider one.

The trouble with modern medicine is that it believes in intervention, in all things. By this I mean its attitude is to charge in and attack the problem, hoping to destroy its hold on life (suppression of symptoms). This way of handling things in America, is reflected in the gun mortality rates as well as health care based on money, rather than community.

If The USA cannot treat its ordinary citizens with respect, how well can outsiders like us expect to be handled, especially when there is a medical movement, out to find the gene responsible for autism, so that they can wipe us off the face of the Earth? In Okinawa, Japan they treat their elders with respect and they can live to over a hundred. In The UK we toss our old people into care homes and then wonder why they turn into vegetables and die early?

In Europe there is a more humane approach to people, personified by Dr Vermeulen and Marius Romme a Dutch psychiatrist, who tries to integrate schizophrenics voices, so that their personality is not at war with itself. As Jo points out in her article 'us and them' is a divisive mentality that only makes relations worse in any situation. As Mary Beard, the historian, pointed out in a recent edition of The BBC History magazine – the real reason The Roman Empire grew so big, was that it was an inclusive society, that took in all waifs and strays, giving them citizenship for their loyalty.

The problem has been up to now that ordinary people have tried to hammer us round pegs into their square holes and expect us to fit. In 'The A Word' on BBC 1, Tuesdays, 9pm we see a child reacting to the hostility or friendliness of people around them, becoming more normal when respected and trying to shut out the hostile world, when treated with disrespect. If they want us to integrate and fit in, like Dr Vermeulen says, they need to accept us for what we are warts and all. It is all about being wanted and this includes the question of suppression of speech or being (abortion, child abuse, murder and war). It is only by doing this that we will relax and become who they want, rather than be on our guard eternally, against the enemy at the gate, trying to bash down our castle walls and get in. Let us mend ourselves from within and meet the neuro-typical world half way.

A depressed autistic person is as helpless as anyone else in that position but a happy person can help themselves out of the well of isolation they've fallen into.

Fear makes us want to conform and enforce conformity on others. To overcome prejudice we must accept our differences and even enjoy exploring them, in a mutual exchange with the rest of the world (learn and teach). We must grow like anything living thing does (evolve out of our shell), not be forced into a mould or clipped back, to fulfill an idea of beauty and perfection that is not real and will not last. The only constant in the universe is change and we must not only change ourselves but belong to a world that changes and grows with us.

3 reactions
See full photo

Another book #PTSD #Bipolar2 #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder

I was at Barnes and Noble and I came across this book. I still feel ashamed about what happened. Hopefully it will somehow help me. The author also experienced abuse growing up.

6 reactions

Wow! Am I struggling with trauma.

The last 2 years has possibly been the hardest 2 years in my life due to being a former smoker trapped in a smoke saturated environment as an older person. Gaslighting by officials; with abuse and lack of caring by neighbors. #justsaying

1 reaction

I'm new here!

Hi, my name is chentex. I'm here because I am a victim of clergy abuse under the care of a trauma specialist and I am interested in learning all I can and involving myself where I can make a positive impact for the greater good.


1 reaction 1 comment

I'm new here!

Hi, my name is Ascending_Lotus. I'm here because I’m a survivor of childhood abuse, DV, PTSD and family estrangement.

I’m in recovery for anxiety, depression and insomnia. I’m neurodivergent.

#Anxiety #Depression #PTSD

3 reactions