Abuse

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Abuse
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    Community Voices

    Reckoning with the generational abuse/trauma

    I have been hearing my aunt about the abuse my mom had to deal with growing up and how they lived surrounded by so much abuse ( SA was the most prevalent in the house by her dads brother plus verbal/emotional/physical ) and it made me realize that it was decided even before I was born how I would be treated. It deprived of having a healthy home life and a loving relationship with my mom. How could she protect me from the emotional verbal abuse if she wasn’t protected as a child. It’s like it was decided 5 decades ago how I was going to be treated- how tragic. I can’t be angry at the dead.

    Community Voices

    Being black and dealign with racism, sexism, trauma, child abuse, and mental illness

    This is where I feel suicide/euthanasia should be legalized

    It's hard enough being black

    It's hard enough being a woman

    It's hard enough having child abuse/narc abuse trauma

    It's hard enough having sexual trauma

    It's hard enough having abusive/narcissistic family

    It's hard enough having mental illness

    If this is what will be stacked against me for my entire life, I don't see any point in living.

    #Suicide

    Community Voices

    I'm new here!

    Hi, my name is Justice4Children. I'm here because I've had mental health issues my entire life - a failed suicide attempt at 14, anxiety diagnosis at 28, PTSD at 41 - but only a handful of people knew until I was 38. I was a successful professional living in a home worth over $500k. Yet, once I spoke of my anxiety and triggers, I watched my world do a total 180. Having a legal background helped me document everything. I am not my diagnoses . I am a warrior that will use my story to help others. I've documented defamation, hate, deception, and my trust ended up with me homeless, paralyzed by fear after home break-ins, and "loved ones" walking away for no reason. A decade of evidence later, I will tell the truth and hopefully change policies relating to abuse and intent to destroy a person's character. People with anxiety don't instigate conflict and we are statistically victims. I DO NOT want to be a victim. #MightyTogether #Anxiety #PTSD #ADHD #StopTrauma

    7 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    How do I calm down? #DV #Bipolar #BPD #PTSD #Incest survivor #Depression #panic attacks #Anxiety

    So I am at DV shelter and for the last two days another client in the house has seemingly singled me out to abuse?! I think she's on speed or something too? So she is screaming and yelling at me calling me names etc and the staff at shelter felt that I should go in my room? I am capable 100% of not talking to or being around that person! She just will not leave me alone? After having another attack from her maybe an hour passed by and she started talking to me like we were old friends asking me what time I had to work today? I at first didn't respond after 4 more times I just said I don't wanna talk to you and then she starts right back in on me!? Telling me she wants me kicked out and that I don't follow the rules just not making any sense?!? So my question is how the heck do I not think about it and go about my day?! I left the shelter very early so I could avoid that person entirely but I feel unsafe unprotected and I feel like I am allowing this person to run me off?! Its just that in the past due to my anti social bpd ways I can be violent after all the abuse I have been handed I guess I have used that to get my way?! Just the way my abusers always have? So I don't trust that I will be able to control myself I am so angry I haven't slept or showed or kept my appts today I'm sitting in my car in front of a friend's house bawling!!! How an this be happening and how do I make it stop!!! Do I just run or get a ppo?? The thing is I am moving out in less than a week and have great things a new apt job to look forward to but I am jot handling this drama well at all!! I'm trying not to beat myself up but I am mad that she is getting to me! I feel like I am being mistreated all over again!! I cry more when I am mad than ever! I dislike crying very much! What really bothers me is missing everything work! physical therapy! I just can't do it!! Staff at shelter told me to just let it go dont let it bother you so much?! Which made me more mad!!! If I fuck this up before the shelter helps me move out I will lose all of the household items and furniture the shelter is providing me and all of my transition help from them as well?! That cannot happen!!! Well fuck!! Not sure what I am gonna do now but I do know that I am taking my meds now! Help and please don't say just let it go!?!? Please?

    6 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    Choices

    The other day I posted about choices. Not everyone agreed with me and that's okay. I love that I'm learning I can choose how I feel. I can choose to be happy. I can choose to be apart of my health care. I love that I have choices. Yes I'm in therapy and take medicine. Yes I struggle daily but I am choosing to heal and get better. Hope everyone has a good day. #Anxiety #Abuse #conqueryourmind

    6 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    One of the saddest things about being a victim of abuse, is when the abuser is loved by everyone on the outside

    No one would have suspected my mom was a horrifying abuser. She was so good at keeping up appearances and putting on a fake front that no one suspected her as an abuser. When she died, they all cried and lamented on her being a "good mother". Actively choosing to look the other way when abuse presented itself

    This is why victims don't come forward, Abusers are very smart and crafty. They isolate their victims and unleash their fury behind closed doors. But in the public eye they make sure they look great. So when you come forward, they will dismiss you. Especially in cases of child abuse

    If a child or teenager or anyone comes to you about abuse, don't think "no way that person is an abuser, they are so nice!". Narcissists live on this treatment. Choose the victims side and listen. Many evil people live in a facade and fool you. Even if they don't act abusive in front of you or towards you, if you look close enough, you can see through their BS.

    #Abuse #narcissism #Trauma

    17 people are talking about this
    Charlie Carr

    How EVV Is Violating Privacy Rights and Costing Taxpayers Billions

    Electronic Visit Verification (EVV) is a system of tracking personal care services such as in-home care that are funded by Medicaid. EVV smartphone apps are designed to verify a care worker’s identity and the date, time, and location where personal care services were provided. EVV apps utilize GPS, biometrics, and/or other invasive technologies, and have been widely criticized by the disability community for their violations of privacy and how they impede the independence and freedom of movement of people who receive personal care supports. One of the primary motivations behind including Electronic Visit Verification in the 21st-Century Cures Act was based on the myth that there’s rampant fraud in the personal care services program nationally. The Congressional Budget Office (CBO) in 2016 projected that $290 million would be saved over 10 years if EVV was included in the bill and this projected savings was a “pay for.” It has been widely reported that the EVV industry was lobbying for its inclusion with the position that EVV was the best way to stop fraud, waste, and abuse in personal care services (PCS). It’s more than a coincidence that it would also launch a requirement to purchase and maintain their software in practically every state. Despite national disability and privacy organizations vigorously protesting EVV, the bill passed and included it. However, the law simply requires that location is one of the data elements that need to be gathered and reported by states. It doesn’t specify or mention the use of Global Positioning Systems (GPS) or biometrics like facial or voice recognition. It was CMS that required GPS through guidance. The EVV industry was already selling their monitoring systems of personal care services workers to state Medicaid agencies with the promise that they would meet CMS guidance and, if used, would be complying and not trigger Federal Medicaid Assistance Percentage (FMAP) penalties imposed by the legislation for non-compliant states. Disability rights advocates, unions, state Medicaid agencies, disability trade organizations, personal care services workers, and many more affected people were stunned. In the case of California’s IHSS program, the largest self-directed (the disabled person is the employer, not an agency) program in the country with 400,000 disabled personal care services consumer employers who were successfully using a web-based portal reporting system prior to Cures, it meant that the state had to discontinue this very effective tool to comply and to not be penalized with cuts in FMAP. Once issued, this CMS guidance forced people with disabilities and their personal care services workers to give up their right to privacy. The EVV industry sells states canned programs that use GPS and biometrics that track the physical location of the workers and by default the people with disabilities who employ them. EVV is one of only two federal programs that track recipients of service; the other is the Bureau of Prisons home confinement program. An unintended consequence has been a severe exacerbation of the personal care services workforce shortage. EVV systems are subject to state modifications and developed to easily incorporate them which has resulted in onerous and unnecessary practices in several states that make it extremely difficult to navigate and use location requirements daily. Some states use “geofencing” that sets boundaries that disabled consumer employers are restricted to outside of the home. If their personal care services worker’s GPS marker is detected beyond the preset boundaries, it triggers an “exception” that then leads to a review process by the state/vendor that often holds up payment to the worker. It’s easy to understand why workers are reluctant to join this workforce, be subject to surveillance, and generally be paid less than fast food chains with no benefits. As EVV continues to go live in the states, an alarming number of problems reported by self-directed PCS consumer employers are arising that undermine their control of their employees and make it practically impossible to recruit qualified workers to meet their needs. Thousands of people with disabilities across the country are being forced to manage their personal care with significantly less assistance than they actually need due to the imposed restrictions and worker shortages caused by EVV. Many are being forced back into nursing homes, which is a civil rights violation under the ADA Olmstead decision. This poor public policy is because of the alleged fraud, waste, and abuse projected in the original EVV section of the 21st-Century Cures Act. In 2022, Applied Self Direction, a non-partisan technical assistance organization, analyzed General Accounting Office (GAO) data reported by the National Medicaid Fraud Control Units (MFCU) and found that the actual numbers in the self-directed PCS programs are at an annual rate of .0002% of fraud convictions that totals $6,065,610.The federal annual Medicaid expenditures for self-directed programs are approximately $100 billion. The incidence of fraud, waste, and abuse in self-directed PCS is negligible and is far exceeded by the amount of Medicaid HCBS money spent on EVV systems purchases and maintenance. For example, in Texas, from FY 2017 to FY 2021, the state spent just over $1.3 billion to implement EVV. This information was obtained through a FOIA request, and the shocking amount of money spent to date is a bellwether of what has been spent in the 35 other states that have implemented EVV. Suffice it to say, the EVV industry that provides the software, training, and maintenance paid for by Medicaid is thriving and policymakers must address the very clear data that shows the expense of EVV far outweighs any benefits derived. PCS employers and workers and their allies realized that the only way they could beat back the dangerous effects of the 21st Century Cures Act was to push for legislative change in Cures 2.0, filed by Representatives DeGette and Upton in 2021. As a result, section 409 prohibits the use of GPS and biometrics in personal care services. It’s important to understand that PCS includes home care agencies as well as self-directed programs. Home care agencies have been using GPS and biometrics as part of their business model for many years prior to the original 2016 legislation. Agencies that employ PCS workers want to continue monitoring their employees, but the vast majority of self-directed PCS consumer employers do not. The power and influence of the home care industry could kill the EVV protections that self-directed consumer employers have fought hard for over the past five years. Anticipating this, four national organizations led by the National EVV Consumer Employer Coalition and ADvancing States met several times to reach a consensus on compromise legislative language in Cures 2.0 that separated self-directed PCS from home care agencies. The language gives states the flexibility they need to properly implement EVV but prohibits the use of GPS and biometrics in self-directed PCS programs. Thus, agency-based home care would not be subject to this provision and can continue using employee surveillance. The hope is that both groups can work together to forge a good faith relationship that will embrace the compromise legislation and encourage the congressional Energy & Commerce Committee to adopt it. It’s a sensible solution that allows for the protection of privacy and consumer employer choice and hopefully blunts the effects of worker shortages for self-directed programs. The most important outcome that outweighs any differences is that both groups can continue to work together to keep people with disabilities and elders out of nursing homes and living with dignity in the community. The success of not only this bill but future legislation and policies and programs hinges on how well the disability and elder communities and the programs that serve them can find common ground to keep and maintain independent living and aging in place values at the forefront.

    Community Voices

    Anyone else feel they deserve to die whenever they've abused someone?

    Whenever I catch myself acting abusive just like my mom/in general I tell myself "I have continued the cycle of abuse. I deserve to die". I believe I am beyond redemption and that I am a toxic abuser who, if dead, will make the world a less toxic place if I am dead

    #Suicide #Abuse #abuser #Trauma

    1 person is talking about this
    Community Voices

    Is my resistance to trusting my aunt normal?

    Yesterday I saw my aunt. I climbed into the car and the first thing she said was

    “Jessica, you’ve been wearing the same clothes for a week now. And you could at least do your hair better. You have to have pride in your appearance. You’re a girl and people will look at you and judge you.”

    I immediately broke down and shut down from her. Sure we talked things out, but all I heard was my mom abusing me. When I told her how I felt she said “I’m not your mom”

    When my mom was abusing me, no one protected me. I was on my fucking own. And when I came forward they were dismissive and neglectful. And now they’re all sad because she died a few years ago. Her death hurt me too. But I can at least see her as an abuser. No one gets me

    #Grief #Abuse #Trauma

    3 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    New here

    Hi. I am new to he group. My name is Jenn and I have DID, I went through the last 20 years in and out of trauma wards and have finally found a therapist who really helped me. I am now able to work in my profession and finally landed a good job. I feel like DID has robbed my life and I am finally starting over. The switching has slowed down and I now have learned how to put my parts in safe places and contain the abuse. I finally feel at peace