Watched a movie last night that completely triggered me. Didn't realize that I was still that fragile, it's been almost a year since my last relapse. It's morning now, guess I concourd one more night. ##Se lfinjury #Selfharm #Selfinjury #SelfharmRecovery
I'm at my wit's end with the healthcare system that makes me more unwell when asking for help.
They use my strength against me and stigmatise me so many times. I've even had professionals comment on other professionals doing it in my medical records so it isn't just in my head or my perception.
My GP did it to me today and I calmly said what I needed to and have since pushed all the "support" away.
I tried for 3 weeks straight to get help and am now hopeless.
I was doing so well with my health- both mental and physical. Due to snow my metal work flared up my pain and I'm being refused pain relief and I asked why. Long story short this GP practice don't believe in strong painkillers. Then they accused me of coming across as manipulative and I said to her "I understand it comes across like that but it is not at all intended that way. I'm trying to get my needs met in a safe way and it is matter of fact". She continued to express she felt "backed into a corner" and I said the same thing.
I ended up punching the wall after this call and getting enraged. Not like me. I feel so stigmatised. I've been a responsible adult and not at all used my mental illness as an excuse to demand anything. I then called back to push everything away. This is how my BPD symptoms that were in remission for months have now flared up. The stigma.
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ChronicIllnessStigma #BPDStigma #Disability #SexualAbuseSurvivors ##Se
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