sexual abuse survivors

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So much stuff!!!

I have been having a really hard time and it’s been a reallly long year for my family.
About me I have Fibro, RA, IC/BPS, sciatica AS, DDD, SpinalFusion spinalstenosis etc..

I have my oldest brother who had a stroke this year. We have always spoken and never had and any issues ( unlike my other siblings that’s another post).

When I was younger my brother more than once sexually assaulted me.
I don’t know if it actually considered that
I was sexually assaulted by my father when I was a child and raped at 15 by an older man.

My brother who is 20 years older than me tried to kiss me on more than one occasion this was when I was in elementary school. He I found out a few years ago was also along with my brothers and my sister were sexually assaulted by my father as well.

So the situation is idkw but after he had his stroke I just couldn’t speak to him.
I did only speak to him because of my mother. I did tell my mother when I was younger and I can only say she made excuses for him and begged me not to not talk to him.

I love my mother very much and we have a very good relationship except for this issue. So I haven’t spoken to him since his stroke and I feel extremely guilty for it.
He has been trying to get in contact with me but I have thwarted contact.

My husband knows and of course he says I should not feel guilty and doesn’t understand why I had been talking to him all these years.
I don’t know if I should say something to my mom who is 85. I don’t think it would do anything but upset her or cause and arguement. Or bother saying anything to my brother. Which idkw I feel bad saying anything which doesn’t make sense.
I know I should have gone to therapy years ago but does anyone have any suggestions how I should proceed in the interim ?

#SexualAbuseSurvivors #SexualAssault #SexualAbuse #SexualAssaultSurvivors #ChildhoodSexualAbuse #SexualTrauma #SexualAssaultAwarenessMonth #RheumatoidArthritis #Fibromyalgia #Fibro #InterstitialCystitis #sciatica #DDD #AnkylosingSpondylitis #painfulbladdersyndrome #LymeDisease #ChronicIlless #ChronicLymeDisease #LymeWarrior #Spoonie #PituitaryTumors #PituitaryTumor #SpinalFusion #gastric sleeve surgery #Anxiety #CPTSD #PTSD #PTSD

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Talking about sexual abuse #SexualAbuseSurvivors

Short summary: I experienced sexual abuse and I got triggered the last couple of days and now I feel a lot of emotions which I wanna share. I am married and have a great family but I notice that they are kinda waving my emotions away. Not only them, but also the world, like sexual abuse is 'normal'. It feels like I need validation for my emotions. I feel superfrustrated and cry a lot, I have the feeling that no one understands my emotions and I am spiraling downwards.. Your thoughts/ideas on this?

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Does anyone know song good songs about the betrayal of a brother? #Anxiety #Depression #CPTSD #SexualAbuseSurvivors

Music helps me heal. On my 21st birthday I found out my brother is still friends with the person who sexually assaulted me and manipulated me in more ways than I can comprehend. I’m still healing from the aftermath of that person and my brother, despite knowing everything that has happened to me, is still friends with him. I told my brother months ago that if I ever found out he was still talking to this person he would loose his sister. I don’t know what hurts more, the fact he is still friends with this person behind my back, or the fact he doesn’t feel guilty about it.
I may have gotten my assaulter out of my life… but he took my brother away from me. He’s manipulated my brother against me. I feel so much pain. And I am so upset with my brother. He lost his sister. He knew he would. But he chose this.

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Reminders That Healing After Sexual Violence Is Possible

We probably already know what you’re thinking; healing after sexual violence feels impossible. But, what if we told you that you’re not alone in that thought? Lots of people feel that way, but healing isn’t out of reach — healing after sexual violence is possible. It’s right there, waiting for you. Everyone here at The Mighty believes so strongly in your strength, your ferocity, and your capability of overcoming the sexual violence you experienced. That’s why we asked our trauma community to offer a few words of support. Below, you’ll find six reminders that healing after sexual violence is possible, along with six more reminders that every survivor of sexual violence needs to hear. Ready to jump in? Yes, Healing After Sexual Violence Is Possible “You cannot blame yourself for what was done to you. It will pop up in your memories, but if you work towards healing, it will hurt a whole lot less. You can do it.” — @ladyoftheelephants “It was not your fault. I remember the day that truth took root in my mind; it changed me. I started to heal. You didn’t deserve what happened, it didn’t happen because you are worthless, defective, or any of those other lies your mind is trying to convince you of. You are deserving of love and care.” — @ginger112 “No matter the reactions you’ve had because of your trauma(s), the fact that you are hurting and angry because of what happened to you doesn’t make you a bad person. When you decide that you want to heal, that is the time you will begin to see how strong and resilient you are and have been. That is when you will learn you can trust yourself to choose who you do and don’t keep in your life. You will go from victim to survivor to thriver.” — @kaylabrown08 “Please don’t carry shame. I carried it around for 40 years; I was 12 and never told anyone until I turned 50. It robbed me of being the person I was meant to be. Tell someone, see a therapist, and get help early on. You can overcome and do great things.” — @newkidney1 “It’s time to open the cell you’ve created for yourself. Close your eyes and go in and rescue that child from the situation. Take her home. Tell her it was never her fault. Tell her how much she is loved, that she is innocent. It was done to her. Then, take gentle care of her. Because she is amazing. There is no one else like her. Look at those unique fingerprints. I believe you. I’m sorry it happened to you. It was never your fault. I love you. Never give up on healing.” — RP “Do what you love. Make decisions on the basis of what makes you happy, not on the basis of what you imagine some non-traumatized version of yourself would want. You’re adequate just as you are. Don’t feel like you’re lesser than someone without trauma.” — @catpi Reminders Every Survivor of Sexual Violence Needs to Hear “You’re so strong for continuing on. Do not lose heart.” — @_roslynnn “You may feel like your assailant and the event make you less of a person, but they don’t. You are still incredible and worthy of love and happiness regardless of what anyone else says. The actions of others don’t change who you are — don’t let anyone steal your shine.” — Megan Glosson “You survived. You are not alone. I believe you.” — @emilyvieweg “If your body responded to the assault, that doesn’t mean you wanted it or consented.” — Monika Sudakov “The assault is not ‘you.’ It is what happened to you. It does not define you or represent who you are. It is the past, and you are a survivor.” — @marlamoi “Forgive yourself because you did nothing wrong and you did what you had to do in that moment to survive.” — @kaysparkles If you’re ready to heal from the trauma you experienced due to sexual violence and you’re not sure where to start, we’ve got you covered. Check out the articles below: 10 Tools for Trauma Survivors Asking ‘How Do I Get Help?’ How Old You Were When You Experienced Trauma Matters – Here’s Why Let’s Talk Trauma: ‘How Do I Heal Decades of Trauma?’ What I Wish I Knew Beginning Therapy for Childhood Sexual and Emotional Abuse 12 Mantras for Anyone Healing From Childhood Trauma

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