BPDStigma

I was asked if I felt defined by my condition and honestly the answer is yes. Even on my “good” days I still feel this emptiness and stress. Trying to stay on top of my emotions often creates a mess, there’s so much going on in my mind that I can never express.

My BPD consumes me, it’s always there,
I’m paying for my abusers actions which isn’t fair, I’m left emotionally damaged from the things that they did, when they were the ones who chose to abuse A KID!

BPD has ruined my friendships and makes it’s difficult to cope, but i will continue to never give up hope.
I have faith that I will find the happiness I deserve to receive and not have my whole world fall down when someone decides to leave. I will learn to trust and let people in but most importantly I WONT LET MY BPD WIN!! #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #bpdsymptoms #Bpdisexhausting #BPDStigma #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #bpdawareness #mentalhealthpoetry #Poetry

I posted this the other day on my profile and was told I should maybe share it here....#notalone #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder 🥰you all🤩

___________________________________________________

I have to have a slight rant real quick to all my fellow Borderlines! 😃I can not stand how people, no matter how many times you tell them, just don't get why are feelings are effected so severe and instantly. I mean WE KNOW you don't get it and that's ok but we outright tell you how certain things make us feel like a worthless person then please stop doing it. I am glad that things come second nature to you but we hate the way we are because it doesn't come that way to us. I hate that because of something that you say to use can make us go instantly from being happy and in a great mood and energetic to completely depress and physically feel sick with just a few of your words.

We know you don't get it and that is why we never want to tell anyone our feelings because you will dismiss us as being 'dramatic' or stupid or dumb etc....and after YOU FORCE US TO TELL YOU WHAT IS WRONG!....I mean we know what is coming and we already feel like shit so we don't need to tell you and then in turn have you tell us how are feelings are wrong and don't make sense etc... Yes we know it is not healthy to hold our emotions in but it is better then letting them out only to be ridiculed about it.

We would love and need support more than anything but we are not going to risk people hurting us any more. That is why we have therapists so we can try to be more like you (which I don't think is any better and is worse in a lot of ways)...and at least we are working on being better when there are things that you could work on but we don't point it out because we are nice.

I really think my two Love Languages hits the nail on the head. my fist is Acts of Service and my second is Touch. I always want to help anyone. It makes me feel good to help others and I know what it is like to feel the way we feel so intensely and I don't want anyone ever have feelings like that...so I will do whatever I can to help you wether I have known you my whole life or do not know you at all. That is why I trust everyone instantly and judge no one. I trust way to much people will tell me but in actuality you trust way to little!....Ok made myself cry a bit so I am going to end my rant there lol.#

I have a great partner and good friends but they don’t understand. They’ve gotten better but I know that it’s really hard for them. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BPDStigma

I have to have a slight rant real quick to all my fellow Borderlines! 😃I can not stand how people, no matter how many times you tell them, just don't get why are feelings are effected so severe and instantly. I mean WE KNOW you don't get it and that's ok but we outright tell you how certain things make us feel like a worthless person then please stop doing it. I am glad that things come second nature to you but we hate the way we are because it doesn't come that way to us. I hate that because of something that you say to use can make us go instantly from being happy and in a great mood and energetic to completely depress and physically feel sick with just a few of your words.

We know you don't get it and that is why we never want to tell anyone our feelings because you will dismiss us as being 'dramatic' or stupid or dumb etc....and after YOU FORCE US TO TELL YOU WHAT IS WRONG!....I mean we know what is coming and we already feel like shit so we don't need to tell you and then in turn have you tell us how are feelings are wrong and don't make sense etc... Yes we know it is not healthy to hold our emotions in but it is better then letting them out only to be ridiculed about it.

We would love and need support more than anything but we are not going to risk people hurting us any more. That is why we have therapists so we can try to be more like you (which I don't think is any better and is worse in a lot of ways)...and at least we are working on being better when there are things that you could work on but we don't point it out because we are nice.

I really think my two Love Languages hits the nail on the head. my fist is Acts of Service and my second is Touch. I always want to help anyone. It makes me feel good to help others and I know what it is like to feel the way we feel so intensely and I don't want anyone ever have feelings like that...so I will do whatever I can to help you wether I have known you my whole life or do not know you at all. That is why I trust everyone instantly and judge no one. I trust way to much people will tell me but in actuality you trust way to little!....Ok made myself cry a bit so I am going to end my rant there lol.#

I'm at my wit's end with the healthcare system that makes me more unwell when asking for help.
They use my strength against me and stigmatise me so many times. I've even had professionals comment on other professionals doing it in my medical records so it isn't just in my head or my perception.

My GP did it to me today and I calmly said what I needed to and have since pushed all the "support" away.

I tried for 3 weeks straight to get help and am now hopeless.

I was doing so well with my health- both mental and physical. Due to snow my metal work flared up my pain and I'm being refused pain relief and I asked why. Long story short this GP practice don't believe in strong painkillers. Then they accused me of coming across as manipulative and I said to her "I understand it comes across like that but it is not at all intended that way. I'm trying to get my needs met in a safe way and it is matter of fact". She continued to express she felt "backed into a corner" and I said the same thing.

I ended up punching the wall after this call and getting enraged. Not like me. I feel so stigmatised. I've been a responsible adult and not at all used my mental illness as an excuse to demand anything. I then called back to push everything away. This is how my BPD symptoms that were in remission for months have now flared up. The stigma.

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ChronicIllnessStigma #BPDStigma #Disability #SexualAbuseSurvivors ##Se