Daydreaming today Mike

Have you ever think about having a ‘normal’ relationship?
Yes, those ones like everyone deserve, the ones who make you happy in an average way.
Simple things as walking together holding hands, kiss you suddenly, texting every now and then, going to the restaurant and have dinner without talking to each other... asking how was your day, or complaining about the weather.
Maybe I’m crazy but I’ve never had one of those, maybe cuz my BPD is quite demanding.
But would be lovely to have a plain, simple and average relationship.
Was about to text you, maybe to have lunch together a random Monday, but unfortunately I know your answer and it’s a nightmare, yes... my mind is playing games with me because haven’t asked you anything and I’m already sad because of your answer.
My past is torturing me, the future worries me and my present, my present is gone because I spent the time thinking what if...
Hopefully one day we can have an average date, just one day being normal is everything that I ask for.

Andrea