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Now I'm Pregnant
I was emotionally and physically abused growing up by my father. My life was upside down and all over the place as a child. The abuse was endless and my life had more of a resemblance to a haunted house and terrifying roller coaster than a happy childhood growing up. But my father has no idea, he thinks he was an amazing dad. He threw boots at me that went through walls, he hit me in the head with a shovel, he pulled my hair and slammed by head against doors (just to name a few incidences off the top of my head). He called me the worst names you should never call your little girl, which out of respect for women everywhere I will not repeat here. He even insulted and abused my mother, who was my light and my safe haven right in front of me. In my mind my father is and has always been disgusting villain. If he tries to hug me, I hold my breath. He is repulsive to me. It seams cruel not to love a parent, but he just does not deserve it and bottom line, I don't feel it. I am pregnant now and want to keep my baby safe. I don't want to be near him because even on the phone he verbally abuses me. In person he makes fun of me and ridicules me. He even called babies disgusting the first time I saw him after telling my parents I am pregnant. However, he is still married to my mother. I care for her and have accepted she will not leave him. What should I do around holidays to have her in my life while keeping myself and my baby safe from his toxicity? #abusivefather , #abusiveparent , #AbusedChild #childhoodabusesurvivor
