My family received news late last week that my grandma has lung cancer. She’s too frail to go through a biopsy to determine which stage she is in but they have done multiple scans and non-invasive tests. She has many other underlying conditions as well. She’s been frail for the last few years. This past Tuesday, she was rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night with low oxygen level and hallucinations. They were able to bring up her oxygen and get to the root of the hallucinations, but what we got something from the hospital doctors we hadn’t gotten from her physician before: a timeline.
My grandma and I have always had a very close relationship. I was her first grandchild. She and I have similar personalities. When I got older, I would take her shopping, call to “gab” with her, and take her to the gym as workout buddies. Last year, I relocated far from my home state for a new job opportunity, and I feel helpless.
She has gotten a bit better while she’s been the hospital. She will soon be discharged back to the assisted living facility she lives in and will be having hospice services attend to her until the end, which they are estimating could be within the next 6 months. My mom has been helping sort all of this out on the ground but is managing this all alone.
I have felt conflicted, distracted, and a little scatterbrained all week as I was worried about whether I’d need to book a ticket to visit or say goodbye. I’ve been spontaneously bursting in to tears all week. I typically hold these types of feelings in and try to be strong for those around me, but I am taking this very hard. Can you help distract me? I like baby animals, kids laughing or telling bad jokes :), dad jokes, funny tiktoks, whatever. I’d appreciate any distraction and joy you can bring to my distracted days and (sometimes) sleepless nights.
#Cancer #FamilyMember #dying #Death