asexuality

Got in another argument with my mom this morning and I hung up on her. I told her I got me and pauley matching teddy bear onesie pajamas. She thought it was stupid. Then I mentioned how I want to cuddle with her while we're wearing them and she got mad at me and said it was gross. She thought I was talking about a sexual act. I said that I don't do sex anymore. Then she yelled at me and said I need to calm down. So I said I'll talk to her later and hung up.

I'm so fed up with my mom. But I'm also fed up with being compared to heterosexual cisgender standards. I keep forgetting that people often think physical affection has to lead to sex.

And my mom doesn't understand asexuality. But a lot of people don't. When I told my neighbor that I am asexual she thought that meant I'm interested in every gender. I had to explain bisexual, pansexual, and asexuality. Then she said I am boring.

I've got a really bad migraine and pauley didn't refill my sumatriptan. I took a tramadol but it didn't help. And my back is trashed. We're getting picked up at about 130pm for my X-ray appointment. I'm just hoping my pain goes away before we go.

Pauley doesn't have any money so I paid for her meds this morning. She really needs to do some billing.

#ChronicPain #Migraine #Asexuality #sexualaversiondisorder

And if you need a little help we’ll be right here!

Edit my thoughts before they come out through my mouth.

I have to admit. When I am in the darkest part of my depression, there are moments when I want to pummel a person who says “don’t give up hope.” It sounds dismissive to me. It doesn’t acknowledge my pain. But I know I would respond much better if a person simply said “there exists a solution.”

The saying: If you compare yourself to others it will either make you bitter or vain.

You are amazing just as you are!

I’m not weird. I’m just not interested. 🙋‍♀️💛

Yesterday my low self esteem settled on being someone’s option. Today I have self respect and I no longer settle for less than I know I deserve.

I am not a fan. I believe love and appreciation should always be expressed. Not just for a day. I don’t want someone to say “I love you” because they feel obligated.