My husband was just reminding me that I had met his coworker in the grocery store (totally blanked) and she commented how I appeared to be doing well. He explained to her that I’m an excellent “actress”…
He knew that it had taken everything I had to get ready, actually get out, and that he knew I only had 5 mins to get out of there before collapsing.
I was taken aback that he had been paying that much attention while I lay in my cubby hole feeling guilty that he couldn’t understand and would eventually give up on me.
He explained that it’s frustrating to NOT be able to relieve the pain, that he understood how hard I try, and that I have to put my own care above his. He was able to list my top 3 tells…the ones I thought were so sly.
Wow! I’ve spent so much time feeling ashamed of something I can’t change, that’s not my “fault”, believing nobody could understand or live with me if I was “real.”
I can’t stand when I’ve been dense about myself. It’s similar to believing that those photo filters are real.
Are we, the Mighty, a huge actors guild?
Would we have more energy available to us if we weren’t actors in our own lives?