Bipolar 1 Disorder

My experience with my bipolar 1 for the first time experience it alone..If you have bipolar disorder 1 or 2 that’s real your are not crazy don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise cause I just had a really hard time with my very first symptom of bipolar 1 and let me tell you when you are alone and no one to talk to you about or you know someone who lives with it and you yourself helped them through their episodes of bipolar and even though they aren’t together or whatever you can’t call or contact them because they basically don’t care after they promised you that they want to remain friends at least but I couldn’t find a single person to talk to me to help explain what was happening to me for about two weeks straight and I was utterly alone and yet somehow by the grace of god and my sister thank you so much sis and they helped me they believed me they were the only ones who believed me but I had someone who did not understand and I didn’t either but I worked through hard and researched things I was feeling at the time at its peak of my bipolar the very beginning and learned what was going on with me that everything I described in my research said without a doubt everything the first paragraph said Bipolar disorder and I have bipolar disorder 1 and I have gotten better im not 100% but I am better than I was before and I am sleeping at or trying to get a routine back having insomnia extremely but I am trying to stay on the routine and I haven’t had anything else pop up with the disorder besides one episode of what I learned is real called a latch on my bipolar brain latched on to someone’s brain emotion and I knew I was gonna feed off that not purposely it was intentional at all but I knew that it was gonna happen and it did happen I could not stop it I couldn’t stop it but I pulled through that night in control of everything my bipolar didn’t control me I didn’t let it happen. But I did say I don’t my private life on social media but this here having bipolar disorder it’s something I am not ashamed to admit that I have it’s real and other people out there have either bipolar 1 or 2 and so I wanted to share some of my experience not all of it but a little bit cause I had nobody to help me through mine but you who ever reads this message share it if you think it’s inspiring or whatever but everything I said here is real I live with bipolar disorder 1 and you should not be made to go through it alone like me you should have someone who understands or believes them but in the end of the day if did go through it alone then you got this you can pull through cause you’re not broken at all you are just going through one piece of what bipolar is and you will be okay. Thank you who ever reads this message or not at least it’s out there for whoever reads this message. I’m here if you need to talk to if you’re having an episode of your disorder and you’re alone I will gladly do my best to talk with you and tell you the truth and tell you that you are not broken and be there the best way I can a listening ear! Thank you have a great day 😌😉

I am sending this with the intention of folks to see that people with mental illness are able to express themselves. Thank you for reading. As someone with bipolar I disorder, married, with out kids, and in a stable living environments, I have to see if anyone reads this.

Hi all - would anyone be willing to share experiences of the medication hangover side effects from antipsychotics? I've been on 6 or 7 different kinds over 13 years, I've had to keep switching due to always winning the lottery with the "rare" side effects - but every single one gives me a 2-3 hour hangover, really only half functioning for the first hour. I've tried to explain it to my partner, but how it makes me sub-functional in the mornings but it isn't getting through. I am hoping hearing from others might help me articulate it better.

#antipsychotic #Bipolar1 #BipolarDisorder #MentalHealth

Hi all - would anyone be willing to share experiences of the medication hangover side effects from antipsychotics? I've been on 6 or 7 different kinds over 13 years, I've had to keep switching due to always winning the lottery with the "rare" side effects - but every single one gives me a 2-3 hour hangover, really only half functioning for the first hour. I've tried to explain it to my partner, but how it makes me sub-functional in the mornings but it isn't getting through. I am hoping hearing from others might help me articulate it better.

#antipsychotic #Bipolar1 #BipolarDisorder #MentalHealth

I believe I was wrongfully committed to a psychiatric ward for a panic attack. I was not suicidal, I did not have suicidal ideation, I had not thought of harming myself or others. But yes, I was having a panic attack on a pedestrian sidewalk on a bridge and the cops were called.
I spent the worst week of my life in a psych ward where they didn’t fed me for 24 hours, I didn’t have my clothes for 17 hours, and I didn’t get my medications for Lupus and Anti-phospholipid syndrome (APS) for 4 days which is extremely dangerous. I had men break out in fights next to me and women throw cups of their piss at me.
The doctors wanted to put me on lithium. I declined and told them they were not going to change my meds because I had a panic attack. I also told them they weren’t going to put me on the oldest 1970’s bipolar drug that would destroy my kidneys when I have LUPUS.
They blew out all my views trying to draw blood because my INR got so low. They gave me FOUR lovenox shots a day and I’m still bruised around my stomach.
No one would listen to me about my Beck Depression Scale. I was continually rated as worse than I actually felt. I was recorded to be “noncompliant” and “uncooperative” in group settings. All false. I knew I had to work the program. I knew I had to participate. I was always friendly and polite and was Med-compliant (when they did administer my medications). The gaslighting and trauma I endured was worse than the panic attack that lead me there.
I went before a judge along with my husband and my mom, we had my outpatient counselor and my psychiatrist appointments lined up and 24/7 care set up for me at home. I calmly stated my case that I was not supposed to be at this hospital and that I wanted to leave the hospital Against Medical Advice, that I was not a risk to myself or others. I had been compliant, I had been cooperative, I had been participating. I had been denied.
He gave me another week.
My social worker ended the call and immediately said that she would ask for an early release from the doctor for the following day. I had photoshoots to attend later on in the week, I had my husband, and my beloved dog to return to.
The following day my social worker told me I would be going home at 11 am. I was ecstatic, she had done it. I immediately called my mom and told her the good news and what time to pick me up. As soon as I hung up the phone, my social worker called me back up to the nurses station.
“I’m sorry. You’re not going home today.”
I was shocked. I had just signed all the paperwork I had just filled out the exit survey. I had done everything to leave.
“What do you mean? I just filled out the paperwork!”
“I know. They made me shred it.”
Apparently, in the time that it took for me to call my mom, the doctor had come down and told the hospital psychiatrist and social worker that I needed to stay- no reason given.
I was livid. But I kept my emotions in check, the last thing I needed was a breakdown and a reason for them to keep me longer.
By some miracle, my social worker did get me released later that evening.
I have nightmares now. My bruises haven’t healed in over a week. I see my outpatient counselor weekly. I AM getting well.
No thanks to the system.
#MentalHealth #Bipolar1 #ChronicIllness #Lupus

I believe I was wrongfully committed to a psychiatric ward for a panic attack. I was not suicidal, I did not have suicidal ideation, I had not thought of harming myself or others. But yes, I was having a panic attack on a pedestrian sidewalk on a bridge and the cops were called.
I spent the worst week of my life in a psych ward where they didn’t fed me for 24 hours, I didn’t have my clothes for 17 hours, and I didn’t get my medications for Lupus and Anti-phospholipid syndrome (APS) for 4 days which is extremely dangerous. I had men break out in fights next to me and women throw cups of their piss at me.
The doctors wanted to put me on lithium. I declined and told them they were not going to change my meds because I had a panic attack. I also told them they weren’t going to put me on the oldest 1970’s bipolar drug that would destroy my kidneys when I have LUPUS.
They blew out all my views trying to draw blood because my INR got so low. They gave me FOUR lovenox shots a day and I’m still bruised around my stomach.
No one would listen to me about my Beck Depression Scale. I was continually rated as worse than I actually felt. I was recorded to be “noncompliant” and “uncooperative” in group settings. All false. I knew I had to work the program. I knew I had to participate. I was always friendly and polite and was Med-compliant (when they did administer my medications). The gaslighting and trauma I endured was worse than the panic attack that lead me there.
I went before a judge along with my husband and my mom, we had my outpatient counselor and my psychiatrist appointments lined up and 24/7 care set up for me at home. I calmly stated my case that I was not supposed to be at this hospital and that I wanted to leave the hospital Against Medical Advice, that I was not a risk to myself or others. I had been compliant, I had been cooperative, I had been participating. I had been denied.
He gave me another week.
My social worker ended the call and immediately said that she would ask for an early release from the doctor for the following day. I had photoshoots to attend later on in the week, I had my husband, and my beloved dog to return to.
The following day my social worker told me I would be going home at 11 am. I was ecstatic, she had done it. I immediately called my mom and told her the good news and what time to pick me up. As soon as I hung up the phone, my social worker called me back up to the nurses station.
“I’m sorry. You’re not going home today.”
I was shocked. I had just signed all the paperwork I had just filled out the exit survey. I had done everything to leave.
“What do you mean? I just filled out the paperwork!”
“I know. They made me shred it.”
Apparently, in the time that it took for me to call my mom, the doctor had come down and told the hospital psychiatrist and social worker that I needed to stay- no reason given.
I was livid. But I kept my emotions in check, the last thing I needed was a breakdown and a reason for them to keep me longer.
By some miracle, my social worker did get me released later that evening.
I have nightmares now. My bruises haven’t healed in over a week. I see my outpatient counselor weekly. I AM getting well.
No thanks to the system.
#MentalHealth #Bipolar1 #ChronicIllness #Lupus

I'm here because I have Bipolar 1 & Rapid Cycling #BipolarDisorder