To My Boyfriend, Here's How to Love Me on the Roller Coaster of Bipolar Disorder
Dear boyfriend,
The last thing I want to do is scare you away and the next thing I want to do is bring you closer. I want to tell you about an important part of myself I think makes me unique. I have what you call bipolar IĀ disorder. It consists of two stages: mania and depression.
ā¢ What is Bipolar disorder?
For me, mania is when I have all the energy a human could ever possibly have mixed with extra strength and confidence. I want to paint the whole house, bike 50 miles and read 11 books in one day. I want to have sex constantly, change my hair color and buy a new car. It is basically the excited part of me with poor judgment.
For me, depression is when I feel very low emotionally and physically. Walking up a flight of stairs makes me want to nap for a year, watching any movie will make me cry and I just want to be alone in a dark room. In extreme situations, I have urges to self-harm or thoughts of suicide.
Here is the fantastic thing: My medication keeps me on the straight and narrow. If I am taking my meds and sleeping a normal number of hours, then I am good to go ā level and stable. However, like any human being, I will still have high days and low days. Here is how you can help.
1.Ā Love me where Iām at.
If I am happy, join me at the party. If Iām sad, join me on the couch. A hug will do when I want to cry and a fist pump is best when I feel like Iām in the sky. You rock.
2.Ā Encourage me rather than force me.
The cool thing about having bipolar IĀ for me is I know myself pretty well. I am very in tune with my body and my emotions ā usually. If I am down and donāt want to go out, please donāt force me. If I am sad and just want to sleep, please let me. Thanks, babe.
3.Ā Help me develop some perspective.
Though I need encouragement, sometimes I also need a loving reality check. Sometimes, either high or low, I think of an idea that is absolutely brilliant āĀ or so I believe. That idea may be to sleep for a week or not sleep for a week. Sometimes I need help understanding the pros and cons list, because apparently what I had down, favored what I actually wanted. I welcome feedback, especially from someone I love and trust. Thatās you!
4.Ā Remind me to eat. Ā
Eating anything is hard for me when I am up or down. If Iām up, Iām too busy saving the world; if Iām down, I have no appetite. God only knows how important food is and I need that love, encouragement and perspective to get me pointed in the right direction. Can you be the one?
Thatās it, those four things. I am simple in nature and complicated at heart. I just need a gentle hug and a little reminder here and there. Together, we can soar. I love you dearly. Thanks for being on this roller coaster with me. I wouldnāt want to hoot and holler with anyone else.
Love,
Alex
Unsplash image by freestocks
Hi, my name is Alex Skye. I am a 25-year-old, female native from California and a recent graduate of the University of Wisconsin, Madison and I am currently an entrepreneur and am working to expand my business and figure out what I would like to pursue career-wise. I am a health nut, sushi lover, and avid runner. I love spoken word, crafts, walking, and coloring. I love The Mighty because I was diagnosed with Bipolar I Disorder, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder about six years ago and I feel that I can relate to other users and bloggers. I have known since I was 13 years old, but wasn't diagnosed until the age of 18. I love to write and I would like to share my story, thoughts, and perspectives so that others feel known and know that they are not alone.
alexskye