Figuring It Out as I Go
When one door closes, a window opens
I am so scared of closing that door and having to leap head first out the window. Close my eyes and just trust it.
Photography has been my life for so many years… and maybe it’s just not meant to be my life anymore. Maybe I’m supposed to start a new life.
Maybe I’m supposed to write or focus on Beyla and her training.
I don’t know what my why is anymore or who I am.
I’ve always said I’m the three C’s “cars, cameras, coffee.
I don’t have the camera.
I don’t have the car.
I don’t even like coffee that much.
Everything that I thought made me, me… is gone.
But what I do have is a strong support system and an amazing dog worthy of ribbons.
So who am I without the mania, without the depression? Without the cameras, cars, and coffee?
I feel numb. I feel sedated. I feel empty. I feel calm. I feel at peace. For once. I feel okay.
Just figuring it out as I go.
“You’re used to battling waves and tsunamis of emotions. Now you’re in the calm rivers. Your demons can’t drown you, you learned how to swim”.
#Bipolar1 #BipolarDisorder #MentalHealth #Depression