bloodtransfusions

Hi Sir
I think of you so often.
Nearly every single day
When my feet hit the carpet
every morning to start my day
I remember waking up
A full two days before we met
Not knowing a simple procedure
Could try and steal my breath
The masked dreamland I was in
Would shortly come to an end
I can still remember the horrible pain
When I first tried to move
The lightning coursing through my veins
When the ultrasound probe dug in
When they say it hurts due to inflammation
As my pulse grew very quick
Within a day I realized
That I was more than sick
My GI doctor took my hand
And called you to come quick
My pain was growing oddly numb
With every IV miss
The CT scan with contrast
Showed what the Ultrasound had missed
I hope you didn’t mind my mom that night
I heard her screaming in the hall
I felt the needle in my neck
Despite the nurses attempt to calm
I was not fully asleep yet when
I heard them talking in the corner
That I might not make it through
Sorry but I am tired
I think I need to sleep
My eyes are heavy
I am slurring my words
I am going to fall asleep
Doctor Please I beg you
Please save me OK?
Hi nurse, I think I’m waking up
Four hours had passed not one
Momma, why are you in pajamas now?
I fell asleep under bright lights like the sun
Momma hi I’m scared, what happened?
Why two IVs, not one?
Momma, I’m still really tired
Please tell me I’m OK now
And that I can go back to sleep.
Hi sir, I do not know you.
Please tell me who you are
Are you the one that saved my life
And left me without a scar
HI sir with every breath I take
With every pump of blood
With every day, I hope to be
A hero like you are
Hi sir, how are you so humble
I can’t thank you enough in words
Hi sir, I do not know your name
But I know exactly who you are

No one can seem to figure out what is going on with me. My body is one huge mess. In February I was sent to #ER when my PCP had my labs drawn STAT at her office because she said I looked white as a ghost and noticed that my hair had drastically thinned.

My hemoglobin came back at 5.5 and so I ended up admitted to the #Hospital for a few days where I received a blood transfusion (2 units then). They monitored me and my hemoglobin went up to 8.3 so I was discharged & sent home.

I followed up with my #hematologist and it was decided that I would have a #PiccLine placed and would begin a series of #ironinfusions . Since February, so in the past 8 months, I've had to have a total of 7 #bloodtransfusions (for a total of 13 units transfused).

My #Endoscopy and #Colonoscopy showed no signs of a GI bleed. Even the site where I'd previously had a severe bleeding gastric ulcer is nicely scarred after having it cauterized 3 years ago. My #BoneMarrowBiopsy came back normal. My #uterinebiopsy came back normal. I even had the #capsuleendoscopy (#PillCam ) done to check further into the small bowel and apparently that came back normal as well.

I've had over 30 iron infusions (have tried both #Ferrlecit and #Injectafer ) and still my Ferritin levels, Iron levels, & Iron Saturation remain in the single digits.

They've not been able to get my hemoglobin above an 8.3 and it's only been above 8 two times (an 8.3 once & an 8.1 another time). On average, I live on a day-to-day basis with it in the 7's, but it has dropped down to 5.0-5.5 over a handful of times. It seems I've needed a #Bloodtransfusion nearly every month.

I'm so utterly exhausted all the time. I have no energy or motivation for anything. My life consists of appointment after appointment. I basically don't leave my house unless I'm having to attend an appointment. I just don't have it in me.

My depression has hit so hard. I isolate even more than before because I have absolutely no energy. And that only fuels my #Depression and #PTSD even more. It's like the life is being sucked out of me in all directions.

And the doctors seem to be following up with me less and less. Like this is no big deal. If only they were the ones having to go through this...

#IronDeficiencyAnemia #Depression #PTSD #MedicalPtsd