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    Dear Sir #lifesaver #bloodtransfusions #ChronicIllness

    Hi Sir
    I think of you so often.
    Nearly every single day
    When my feet hit the carpet
    every morning to start my day
    I remember waking up
    A full two days before we met
    Not knowing a simple procedure
    Could try and steal my breath
    The masked dreamland I was in
    Would shortly come to an end
    I can still remember the horrible pain
    When I first tried to move
    The lightning coursing through my veins
    When the ultrasound probe dug in
    When they say it hurts due to inflammation
    As my pulse grew very quick
    Within a day I realized
    That I was more than sick
    My GI doctor took my hand
    And called you to come quick
    My pain was growing oddly numb
    With every IV miss
    The CT scan with contrast
    Showed what the Ultrasound had missed
    I hope you didn’t mind my mom that night
    I heard her screaming in the hall
    I felt the needle in my neck
    Despite the nurses attempt to calm
    I was not fully asleep yet when
    I heard them talking in the corner
    That I might not make it through
    Sorry but I am tired
    I think I need to sleep
    My eyes are heavy
    I am slurring my words
    I am going to fall asleep
    Doctor Please I beg you
    Please save me OK?
    Hi nurse, I think I’m waking up
    Four hours had passed not one
    Momma, why are you in pajamas now?
    I fell asleep under bright lights like the sun
    Momma hi I’m scared, what happened?
    Why two IVs, not one?
    Momma, I’m still really tired
    Please tell me I’m OK now
    And that I can go back to sleep.
    Hi sir, I do not know you.
    Please tell me who you are
    Are you the one that saved my life
    And left me without a scar
    HI sir with every breath I take
    With every pump of blood
    With every day, I hope to be
    A hero like you are
    Hi sir, how are you so humble
    I can’t thank you enough in words
    Hi sir, I do not know your name
    But I know exactly who you are


    Sick and Tired of being sick and tired...

    No one can seem to figure out what is going on with me. My body is one huge mess. In February I was sent to #ER when my PCP had my labs drawn STAT at her office because she said I looked white as a ghost and noticed that my hair had drastically thinned.

    My hemoglobin came back at 5.5 and so I ended up admitted to the #Hospital for a few days where I received a blood transfusion (2 units then). They monitored me and my hemoglobin went up to 8.3 so I was discharged & sent home.

    I followed up with my #hematologist and it was decided that I would have a #PiccLine placed and would begin a series of #ironinfusions . Since February, so in the past 8 months, I've had to have a total of 7 #bloodtransfusions (for a total of 13 units transfused).

    My #Endoscopy and #Colonoscopy showed no signs of a GI bleed. Even the site where I'd previously had a severe bleeding gastric ulcer is nicely scarred after having it cauterized 3 years ago. My #BoneMarrowBiopsy came back normal. My #uterinebiopsy came back normal. I even had the #capsuleendoscopy (#PillCam ) done to check further into the small bowel and apparently that came back normal as well.

    I've had over 30 iron infusions (have tried both #Ferrlecit and #Injectafer ) and still my Ferritin levels, Iron levels, & Iron Saturation remain in the single digits.

    They've not been able to get my hemoglobin above an 8.3 and it's only been above 8 two times (an 8.3 once & an 8.1 another time). On average, I live on a day-to-day basis with it in the 7's, but it has dropped down to 5.0-5.5 over a handful of times. It seems I've needed a #Bloodtransfusion nearly every month.

    I'm so utterly exhausted all the time. I have no energy or motivation for anything. My life consists of appointment after appointment. I basically don't leave my house unless I'm having to attend an appointment. I just don't have it in me.

    My depression has hit so hard. I isolate even more than before because I have absolutely no energy. And that only fuels my #Depression and #PTSD even more. It's like the life is being sucked out of me in all directions.

    And the doctors seem to be following up with me less and less. Like this is no big deal. If only they were the ones having to go through this...

    #IronDeficiencyAnemia #Depression #PTSD #MedicalPtsd

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