Dear Body, Dear Self
Over the years I’ve really put you through hell….i didn’t see it at the time but I do now. Not only mental hell, but emotional, and physical hell as well. I’ve broken you in so many ways and I’ve torn you down every chance I got. I was awful to you. You spoke back by medically breaking down and it was only at the point where you broke down the most that I could start to really listen to you. I know you had had enough.
We are in a better place now, it’s not perfect, I still sometimes ask you to look different, function different, but I know now how much you do for me and what your giving me each day.I can now see that it is because of you I’m able to walk, breathe, eat, sleep, hold hands with a loved one, laugh with children, help others. I’m learning to be okay with the way you look because of all the amazing things you do for me on a daily basis….things at one point I didn’t allow you to do.
We are getting to learn more and more about each other each day. I’m learning what I can and can not put in you for physical and medical reasons…you’re learning that it's okay to rest when needed. Our relationship after 20+ years is finally on the mend.
I would like our relationship to continue to grow…I want to, but I’m having a hard time trusting you right now. I have a hard time trusting that you know what to do with what I put in you, as that is something you’ve struggled with in part because of me. I’d like to be at peace with your physical appearance, and I think I need your help with that. If you could show me that you can still do everything you love in the body you’re in then I think finally we will be at a place of acceptance. But I do know in order for that to happen I have to play my part and give you the opportunity to do so.
I’m sorry for all that I’ve put you through, all the behaviors, the pain, the self hatred, but i”m glad we are learning how to coexist now in this new chapter of our lives.

Sincerely
Your Body, Yourself

#EatingDisorders #bodyacceptance
#MentalHealth #EdSheeran #EDrecovery