9 Times Pete Davidson Spoke Up About Borderline Personality Disorder

Comedian Pete Davidson is known for a lot of things — his recurring role on late-night comedy show “Saturday Night Live,” his love for marijuana and his dating life (he’s been romantically linked to celebrities like Ariana Grande, Kate Beckinsale and Cazzie David).

But what we don’t always talk about is Davidson’s openness in discussing his mental health struggles — most notably, his struggles with borderline personality disorder (BPD).

Borderline personality disorder, sometimes called “emotional dysregulation disorder,” is a mental illness characterized by painful mood swings and unstable relationships. To get a BPD diagnosis, a patient typically meets five of the nine classic criteria of the disorder. Some of the hallmarks of BPD include frantic efforts to avoid abandonment, intense or uncontrollable anger and chronic emptiness or suicidal thinking.

Davidson first revealed he was diagnosed with BPD on Marc Maron’s “WTF” podcast in 2017. Since then, he’s continued to speak up about what it’s like to live with BPD. We’ve rounded up some of these moments below.

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Here’s what Davidson has said about BPD and the symptoms he experiences:

1. On Fear of Abandonment…

Many folks with BPD struggle with ongoing fears of real or imagined abandonment. Making frantic efforts to avoid abandonment is one of the nine classic symptoms of BPD.

This is something Davidson spoke about on Maron’s “WTF” podcast. Davidson shared when he was 7 years old, his father, who was a New York City firefighter, was killed in the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Davidson shared his therapist connected this loss with his continual struggle with fearing abandonment in adulthood.

Fear of abandonment is a common experience for many people — even people who don’t live with BPD. If you are struggling with this mental health symptom, you’re not alone. We encourage you to check out the following pieces from our Mighty community.

• 25 Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because You Fear Abandonment
• 3 Ways My Fear of Abandonment Shapes My Interactions With Others
• How Fear of Abandonment Affects the Other Symptoms of My BPD

2. On His Co-Occurring Depression…

In addition to BPD, Davidson has been open about living with depression. In fact, many people with BPD live with co-occuring mood and anxiety disorders.

Though Davidson’s advice for depression is great (and funny!), it’s important to note BPD is not a form of depression as he said — it’s a personality disorder. The term “personality disorder” is a bit of an unfortunate term because it implies someone’s personhood is inherently disordered. But this isn’t actually what the term means. A personality disorder simply refers to a consistent, long-term pattern of behavior versus a mood disorder, like depression, which is an experience that is inconsistent with how someone normally feels or acts.

Stories about depression from The Mighty community:

• 23 Signs You Grew Up With Depression
• 25 Texts to Send a Loved One Living With Depression
• An Experiment for People Who Don’t Understand Depression

3. On Dialectical Behavior Therapy…

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), created by BPD expert Marsha Linehan, Ph.D., is a type of therapy that focuses on teaching tangible skills so patients can manage their painful emotional experiences and increase satisfaction in their relationships. The skills target the areas of mindfulness, emotional regulation, distress tolerance and interpersonal relations. DBT is viewed as the gold-standard for BPD treatment.

Davidson said when he began treatment for his BPD, he was given a DBT skills handbook that helped him cope with his intense emotional experiences — even though it was sometimes difficult to put the skills into practice.

Davidson wasn’t kidding when he mentioned holding ice — it’s a DBT distracting strategy for distress tolerance in difficult moments. For more on DBT, check out the following stories:

• Practicing Radical Acceptance
• If BPD Makes You Jump to Conclusions, This Might Help
• The One Part of Dialectical Behavior Therapy That Helps Me Most

4. On “Borderline Rage…”

Uncontrollable anger, or what is sometimes called “borderline rage,” is a common experience for people with BPD — especially in males. April Foreman, Ph.D., who works with a (primarily male) veteran population, previously told The Mighty people with BPD can experience periods of anger so intense they can dissociate and not know what they did while enraged.

These “rage blackouts” are something Davidson has experience with — though at first he thought they were related to his marijuana usage.

If you struggle with BPD rage, you’re not alone. The following stories from The Mighty community might be helpful on your recovery journey:

• 17 ‘Red Flags’ That Let People Know They Were Slipping Into ‘Borderline Rage’
• Why I’m Not a Monster: Deconstructing Male BPD
• What It’s Like to Have Rage ‘Blackouts’ When You Live With BPD

5. On BPD “Manipulation…”

One of the common misconceptions about people with BPD is they are “manipulative.” For example, someone with BPD might threaten suicide — even if they have no intention of carrying out suicide — because deep down they want to know their loved ones truly love them and want them to be alive.

While this might sound manipulative, the word “manipulation” describes malicious and skillful intention, whereas in most cases, a person with BPD might say or do painful things simply because they do not yet have the skills to self-regulate their emotional experiences. In the above example, the person with BPD might threaten suicide not because they want to hurt the other person, but because they cannot believe they are loved without getting external (and often repeated) validation.

Here’s what Davidson said about BPD “manipulation”:

For more about BPD and “manipulation” check out the following stories:

• 5 Things People With BPD Do That Get Mistaken for ‘Manipulation’
• Why My Fear of Abandonment Makes Me Seem ‘Manipulative’
• 15 Traits of People With BPD (That Aren’t ‘Manipulative’ or ‘Scary’)

6. On Being in a Relationship With BPD…

In May 2018, Davidson began dating “thank u, next” singer Ariana Grande. At the time, Grande had recently ended her two-year long relationship with the now-deceased rapper Mac Miller — it was a relationship she had once called “toxic.”

Unfortunately, social media users were quick to say Grande had left one toxic relationship for another because Davidson has BPD. The commenters implied all people with BPD make relationships toxic. Davidson took to his Instagram story to respond:

While it’s true one of the hallmarks of BPD is interpersonal difficulties, Davidson was right in saying this doesn’t mean someone with BPD is automatically toxic and can’t be in a healthy romantic relationship.

“People with borderline personality disorder can recover and can have good, beautiful, stable relationships. I’ve seen it over and over,” Dr. Foreman told The Mighty when asked if people with BPD were “doomed” to have bad relationships. “[But] you cannot have better relationships until you change something, and you will have to do very hard work to change that.”

If you live with BPD, it’s important to find treatment that works for you, especially if it means improving the relationships in your life. For more on relationships and BPD, check out the following stories from our community:

• The ‘Key’ to a Relationship When You Live With BPD
• When BPD Makes You Cycle Through Romantic Relationships

7. On Experiencing Suicidal Thoughts…

In December 2018, Davidson shared on his Instagram story he was struggling to continue living and didn’t know how much longer he could last. If you struggle with suicidal thoughts, his words might feel triggering, so feel free to skip over this quote if you need to.

Suicidality is one of the core symptoms of BPD. If you struggle with suicidal thoughts, you’re not alone and there is help available. If you need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or reach the Crisis Text Line by texting “START” to 741741. For more content about suicidal ideation from our BPD community, check out the following:

• When BPD Makes You Think Suicide Is the ‘Solution’ to Your Pain
• The Implications of Suicide Statistics for Someone With BPD

8. On Being Bullied for Having BPD…

BPD is one of the most stigmatized mental illnesses out there, and because of that, Davidson has been the recipient of a lot of hate from bullies on the internet.

If you’ve ever been shamed for your struggles with BPD, you’re not alone. We have a community that cares and wants to support you. To connect with other BPD warriors, post a Thought or Question on The Mighty with the hashtag #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder.

• The Stigma of Borderline Personality Disorder
• The Problem With Calling Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande’s Engagement ‘So Borderline’

9. On BPD Recovery…

Contrary to what you might read on hurtful internet blogs, BPD is treatable and you can recover from it. When asked if she believed people with BPD could recover, Dr. Foreman told The Mighty, “Absolutely, yes. And with effective treatment, it’s very likely. I have definitely had patients recover — more than a few. And they no longer would meet the criteria.”

Davidson echoed this belief in 2017, sharing he hoped to be fully recovered someday:

If you’re struggling with BPD and feel like you will never recover, we want you to know there’s hope. With appropriate treatment and some hard work, BPD recovery is possible. For some recovery encouragement, check out the following stories from our BPD community:

• How I Learned Recovery From BPD Was Possible
• My Journey Through Borderline Personality Disorder to Treatment and Recovery

It takes a lot of courage to open up about struggling with your mental health — especially if you’re opening up about living with a highly stigmatized mental illness. Thank you Pete Davidson, for bravely speaking up about your experiences with borderline personality disorder. You are the advocate the BPD community needs!

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If you live with BPD (or love someone who lives with it) and want to find people who understand your struggles, look no further than The Mighty’s BPD community. To give and get support 24/7 from people who really “get it” post a Thought or Question with the hashtag #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder. For more relatable content about BPD, check out the following stories:

• How Do You Know If You Have Borderline Personality Disorder?
• 9 Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder — as Explained by Memes