4 Tips on Managing a Chronic Illness During the Holidays

I have struggled managing my fibromyalgia during the holidays even before being diagnosed. There are so many traditions you are expected to participate in, shopping to do, events to attend. As a preface, my holiday experiences are coming from an American who celebrates Christmas, and I realize this may differ based upon what holiday you enjoy this time of year.

1. Take your own car

I understand that owning my own car is a privilege, which some may not have the luxury of having. But for those who do, if possible, take your own car to all of the events you’re going to. I drive myself all year round when going to events, especially family events, because those tend to go all night. This allows me to be in control of when I can leave. I’m lucky to have a family who is understanding if I bow out early, and I don’t feel guilty of asking my immediate family to leave with me.

2. Holidays are meant to be enjoyed, so enjoy them

As much as you want to make the holidays special for those you love, it’s also important to enjoy them yourself. I’ve been in the position of wanting to please those around me; I end up being worn out and not enjoying the season myself. You deserve to have a good time too. Being worn out does not equal a good time. If you’re anything like me, when I’m in pain, I am a word that rhymes with witch and that’s no fun for anyone.

3. Don’t be afraid to say no

My parents are divorced so there was pressure to see both sides of my family. Two trees to decorate, two dinners, two of everything. But I have learned to prioritize what I want to do with whom. Christmas morning with my 3-year-old cousin is more important to me than driving an hour away to go to a Christmas dinner with distant family. Instead of stretching myself thin, I choose one. It might disappoint some people, but such is life.

4. Make a plan

When are you going to shop? Can you make the same dish for two potlucks so you only have to cook once? I start thinking about my Christmas plans before Thanksgiving (which also takes a lot of energy for me, not sure about anyone else). I start annoying friends and family about dates for parties, what I need to make, so on and so forth. This way, I can set my limits and give myself days to reset and collect some spoons. I’ve noticed the difference in my holiday stress when I know what I have to accomplish and how I am going to accomplish everything by December 24.

Happy Holidays to all who celebrate. Use your spoons in the ways that make you the happiest!