I went to a quiet cliff side beach in the middle of the week. No lifeguard around just a couple of people. I sit in the anguish and the mess of my life. I look around and now I’m the only one there. I wrap the towel around me a change into swim trunks. I used to swim all the time and was a very strong swimmer back in the day. However these days I’m overweight and out of shape. I swim out beyond the wave break lay on my back and float. I don’t intend to go back just sink into depths. Something else is happening the hard swim has drained me of much of the anguish that I had been feeling.
I don’t sink. I look back at the shore . I see that I am no longer alone. Hey stay away from bag. I start to swim I can feel the ocean pull now, very little energy left so I let the waves push me. it’s not enough but the random time is going to low tide. I hold the eelgrass on the exposed rock. Maybe enough after this breather to make in to that other rock. it’s big enough to sit. I make it but cut my foot. It’s later in the day and sun is not in balance to the cool air and colder water. A wave puts me back in the water which actually feels warmer than my wet body in the open air.
Have I swam this far only to be pulled out again. The lowering tide provides more opportunities. I make it to shore and flop, and I mean full body flop with my face in the towel. My bag is still there with my phone and wallet. I fade out but not all the way because I snapping back before a total pass out. I now feel how sore my arms legs and back feel as my heaving breath starts to slow.