I’m upset. My daughters who now both live in Columbus Ohio, arranged with their Dad to have me fly there without him! I was going to be dropped off at the airport by my husband, who wasn’t going to tell me, till the day of the flight that he wasn’t going! It was suppose to be a trip for us both. He let me believe that, then thought differently.

So it feels like manipulation to me. It feels like it always does, when he pushes me away, and plays approach and avoidance games. He does all kinds of things without me, and I feel alone sometimes and distanced in this relationship. I say this because if I were to make plans they’d get disregarded or planned over. I feel like an object that gets passed around, or like an the old lady my kids will have responsibility for, for 10 days.

No one asked me about the trip, or how I feel. Surprise..F’! I hate flying and especially by myself. I’ve decided it’s about control.

Having no out, and just staying with my daughter and son in law will be especially difficult for me. I love my daughters, but the oldest has stage 4 cancer and sometimes in the past she has been snappy and nasty to me. So there will be no help if she goes off on me. I’ll be there by myself feeling miserable, because no one lets me make my own choices.

I feel like shit for feeling this way, but I really dislike people trying to control me. I had to deal with it in my early life because I was molested as a young girl. I felt like there was no choice in the matter. No one would have believed me back then. As an adult I felt further blamed, abandoned, because I told my parents about what had happened to me, and they knew something was wrong then, but they didn’t help, and didn’t protect me at the time.

I hate people trying to manipulate, lie, or try to control me as an adult. I think I should tell my oldest, who supposedly presented the idea, that I know about the surprise? And, tell her that I’m glad her Dad said something now instead of the day of. My husband already consulted with my counselor and my counselor said for him to tell me. My husband said she thinks that I should to talk with her, before talking to my daughter.

Anyone, else feel awkward in this type of situation? When things are going on behind your back.? The only thing I can think of is that my daughter wanted to make it just a women’s time together? She doesn’t really know how controlling things will effect me. She’s worried about how her illness will progress and that it’s better for her to see me without her Dad.? We haven’t been together by ourselves since she was 18 and we traveling to colleges back East and in the mid-West. She’s now 40, diagnosed with Stage 4 HER breast cancer in November 2019. I’ve many conflicting thoughts about the trip; it just frightens me.

I’ll try to go with a better attitude I guess. It just helped me to write about it, thanks for reading a longish post..Thanks in advance for your thoughts and concern.
#BreastCancer #PTSD #lies #contr