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You Never Know

Sometimes, I can’t fix things. I can’t rewind time. It’s too late. I’m at a place in my life where I felt ready to reach out to an old friend. We were actually best friends in high school. Then I abruptly broke off the friendship. No explanation. She moved on and made new friends. I folded into myself. See, we were getting too close. I had to keep my secrets about my abuse. I was ashamed and afraid. Since then, I’ve always been the one to denigrate a relationship. I’ve never felt worthy.
Well, I decided I was ready to reconnect with my old friend. I wanted to explain to her what I’d been going through back then. I wanted to ask for forgiveness. I wanted to hug her. It was too late. I found out she died of cancer in August 2 years ago.
I guess I just wanted to remind everyone not to wait. If there is something you want to tell someone, say it. Regret is something I’ll always live with. Rest in peace, Mary.

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