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    Does anyone else struggle with anxiety and lying ?

    White lies or major lies? To avoid confrontation, or so on I don’t typically but sometimes I do and want to work on it, just wanted to know if anyone else struggles with this and anxiety.

    #Anxiety #lies #feelbad #DoingMyBest #selfaware #selfImprovement #Depression #Guilt #Shame #Dontknowwhy #ThankYou #Support

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    #lies and false accusations

    How to cope with a family member who has made horrible false accusations and lies about their family. She has torn us apart and we are facing serious legal consequences because of these accusations! Has anyone dealt with a Mentally I’ll family member who is destroying their family with lies!


    Not able to connect with grandson

    My son and DIL had a son June 2020 bad timing I know. My first grandchild and I knew they were paranoid about the virus. My heart has been broken. I was not aloud to hold him until he was over 6 weeks old and I was in a hazmat suit. I spent 158 on 10 sets. Exactly what they wear in the hospital. I found out her mother was holding him from birth and could hold him every weekend.

    They came to our house and had to stay 6 feet away and just watch from a distance with masks. Masks are no problem for me but no one else wore the hazmat suits except me. Her brother flew on a plane from Washington state to see his nephew. He held him with a mask. Also went to a New Years party and was back around the baby again. I can’t have a flu shot as it almost killed me the last time I got it in 2005. I was told I had to have the Dtap. Thank God I didn’t I would be dead now as my PCR showed it was still active and I did not need one. I have 4 specialists all say no to the vaccine. So I’m treated like I have the plague. My grandson is now almost 17 months and doesn’t know us. We rarely see him.

    My therapist finally told me to just go and pick him up. Well I don’t do things like that. But my son sat here knowing that his MIL was holding him and I wasn’t. I feel betrayed and hurt. I sat there dying inside. I don’t feel any connection to my grandson he is like another kid not my grandson.

    I am in a horrible depression over it. My son is disrespectful and they act like I don’t know anything about raising a baby. I had 2 and both were in and out of hospitals with health issues and multiple surgeries. This lasted an entire decade. Am I overreacting over this treatment???? . We also don’t get to do anything with him. I talked to my son about going to a pumpkin patch. Then I find out they already went with her mom. Once again I was hurt. We are going to stop over on Halloween and not even say anything.

    Last Christmas I had to stay 6 feet away with a mask. I’m not doing it this year. I rather not see him at all because it just causes so much pain. My therapist says it’s normal for me to have these feelings but I really don’t “feel” anything anymore. I’ve had to disconnect emotionally to just survive this. My son told me they hate coming here because they have to bring so much. Her mom has a nursery at her house. So I went and spent money I don’t have and made one in my spare room. They have yet to use it. The clothes I bought he has out grown. I guess it was wishful thinking that they would come more. They go to her mothers every weekend or she is there. I am a lot older and I don’t know how long I will be around with all my health issues. Nothing is contagious but I am treated that way.

    My therapist said I am not overreacting but they are. I had 9 friends have grandchildren and they didn’t have to even wear a mask.

    #COVID19 #ChronicLymeDisease #brokenheart #Vaccines #ChronicInflammatoryResponseSyndrome #grandmothernot #Therapy #Depression #lies


    When People Plan Things, Without Consulting With Us..

    I’m upset. My daughters who now both live in Columbus Ohio, arranged with their Dad to have me fly there without him! I was going to be dropped off at the airport by my husband, who wasn’t going to tell me, till the day of the flight that he wasn’t going! It was suppose to be a trip for us both. He let me believe that, then thought differently.

    So it feels like manipulation to me. It feels like it always does, when he pushes me away, and plays approach and avoidance games. He does all kinds of things without me, and I feel alone sometimes and distanced in this relationship. I say this because if I were to make plans they’d get disregarded or planned over. I feel like an object that gets passed around, or like an the old lady my kids will have responsibility for, for 10 days.

    No one asked me about the trip, or how I feel. Surprise..F’! I hate flying and especially by myself. I’ve decided it’s about control.

    Having no out, and just staying with my daughter and son in law will be especially difficult for me. I love my daughters, but the oldest has stage 4 cancer and sometimes in the past she has been snappy and nasty to me. So there will be no help if she goes off on me. I’ll be there by myself feeling miserable, because no one lets me make my own choices.

    I feel like shit for feeling this way, but I really dislike people trying to control me. I had to deal with it in my early life because I was molested as a young girl. I felt like there was no choice in the matter. No one would have believed me back then. As an adult I felt further blamed, abandoned, because I told my parents about what had happened to me, and they knew something was wrong then, but they didn’t help, and didn’t protect me at the time.

    I hate people trying to manipulate, lie, or try to control me as an adult. I think I should tell my oldest, who supposedly presented the idea, that I know about the surprise? And, tell her that I’m glad her Dad said something now instead of the day of. My husband already consulted with my counselor and my counselor said for him to tell me. My husband said she thinks that I should to talk with her, before talking to my daughter.

    Anyone, else feel awkward in this type of situation? When things are going on behind your back.? The only thing I can think of is that my daughter wanted to make it just a women’s time together? She doesn’t really know how controlling things will effect me. She’s worried about how her illness will progress and that it’s better for her to see me without her Dad.? We haven’t been together by ourselves since she was 18 and we traveling to colleges back East and in the mid-West. She’s now 40, diagnosed with Stage 4 HER breast cancer in November 2019. I’ve many conflicting thoughts about the trip; it just frightens me.

    I’ll try to go with a better attitude I guess. It just helped me to write about it, thanks for reading a longish post..Thanks in advance for your thoughts and concern.
    #BreastCancer #PTSD #lies #contr



    hey guys!
    I have recently been told that I have told 2 lies in regards to work. My boss says he swears he watched me break a piece of equipment accidentally and I said I didn't do it, I seriously have no recollection of this moment...and the same thing involving dropping the work phone and the screen breaking...I didn't do it like wtf is wrong with me. #Bipolar2Disorder #lies
    this is also the second part of a series of events with an employee stating that im harassing them cause I messaged them a few times over the past 2 months trying to rectify things... #Bullying #blaming #lost
    I just don't know how to move on


    Toxic Narcissists In Families

    someone explain to me why this family member of mine who is a TOXIC ass narcissist..
    I’m talking like gypsy rose blanchard’s mother (the mom from “mommy dead and dearest”) type of toxic.. has invented that she has cancer because no one wants to accept her apology.
    MIND YOU, her apology is saying she’s sorry for how she reacted after everyone deceived her and betrayed her. then she says we should forgive her because she’s DYING??? and how she wants to leave us with her stuff and daughter to take care of. she provided fake lab results that prompted my family to look further into.. SHE’S LYING!
    so since she was called out for lying, she’s actually doubled down on her claims and says she’s got 2 months left to live lol.
    she repeatedly calls her parents, who are in their 90s, to harass them, insult them, and humiliate them out of anger that others won’t forgive her or believe the lies. she abuses her parents, hangs up, then calls back just to curse at them again. she makes them suffer and cry all the time only pushing people further away. but guess what?
    she just pushes abuse on top of lies on top of harassment.

    #narcissit #toxicparents #toxicfamilies #manchausenbyproxy #Abuse #lies

    1 comment


    Can lying be something that take more than prayer and repentance to be free from? Can there be psychological reasons? I'm not looking for an excuse, however I've found myself lying and I've had no reason to, and am a mess of regrets and confusion later. Why did I do this again? I prayed about it, I wanted to be free from this sin, I must stop doing this. I know all the reasons not to and why I'll regret it later when I do it, yet it still happens. Am I just a bad seed who hasn't learned yet how to give up what I should and repent truly? I don't know, I feel horrible and yet when I pray about it I feel something in me resisting that I also pray I can fight to be free of, yet it also persists and my brain hurts, then I feel anxious and dread, the total opposite of what I'm trying to seek. I'm confused and frustrated. Why can't I just be free, feel at peace, walk in the Spirit? Having a relationship with the Lord, and accepting Jesus's gift of Salvation and cleansing me is so important, why can't I walk away from what I have every reason to? I don't have to suffer the guilt of unrepentance and sin, so why do I fail knowing what it will do? Knowing it's not worth it and will make things harder. #lies #Christianity #psychology


    Manipulation #Lying #making up lies

    There are people in my life that are manipulative and making up lies about me. They live with me but because of the lies and deception. I don’t trust them. Shame that people are like that. Still hurts but can’t help people that are like that. I just want to get away from the. What should I do? #tired #lies

    1 comment

    Truth or Lies?

    Warning: Long Post. Calling myself out: I tell lies. I admit this with sadness in my heart for myself & those that I lie to. I do not lie to be hurtful or malicious. What makes me lie to others? It’s a deep rooted defense mechanism for me. It helps keep me safe, both physically and mentally. I tell lies to let people hear what THEY want to hear, rarely (but getting better at it) do I say the whole truth. Yikes!, what if I tried to show my true, authentic self...the truth that will set me free? The lies aren’t criminal or anything of that nature. They generally slip off my tongue to make other people feel better, not be disappointed in me, give me assumed grief if I don’t do or say what they want me to. I take 100% accountability for lying. Again, it’s not meant to hurt anyone or to be malicious. The saddest part to me is how much I lie to myself. I tell myself that I’m going to go walk my 4 miles every day b/c I know it makes me feel good physically & mentally...but, when morning comes I give some kind of a excuse to myself and don’t do it....but I will tell people that I did it b/c they ask every single day if I’ve done it...which I know comes from a good, well-meaning place. I think the only person that I’m totally real with is my daughter. I tell myself one thing, but telling is one thing...action backs it up. And, that my friends, is what I lie about. No one is holding a gun to my head to either lie or tell half-truths. There are sooo many lies that I tell myself: you’re not good enough; you’ll never be as pretty & as outgoing as your sisters; you’re damaged goods; your mental disabilities will never get better; success is not deserved...these lies are what holds me back. As I mentioned above, I take 100% ownership/accountability for the lies I tell/commit. I fear the TRUTH! Because what if I can’t keep it up, be truly authentic to myself, what if I DO succeed?! When you’ve spent a lifetime telling these type of lies, to protect the little 5 year old child inside me from harm to 40+ years later doing the same thing, it’s hurtful to myself. I’m not doing myself any favors. I NEED to be truthful to myself to completely move forward. No one can do this for me, no enabling to “help” me or make me feel better. I NEED to stand on my own, not totally alone for I do have wonderfully supportive family, but stand on my own. Actions speak louder than words. My truth IS good enough, I just have to prove it to myself before anyone else. (SORRY FOR THE LONG POST...actually, that’s not true. I’m not sorry I expressed myself on this topic & realize that it is none of my business if people want to read it or scroll on by). Anyway, those are my thoughts this Thursday evening. #Truth #lies #authenticity #defense #actions

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    We live in a world where people believe that THEY are decieved by others. But as knowledge becomes one form of deception. I believe that there is only
    One true person or god who #lies person is possessive. God is formidable