I’ve been coming out of a depression phase and feeling really good. Long story short my guy and I were once open but we closed ourselves up to clarify and strengthen some boundaries. We were to open up again, but there is something that’s bothering me about a past prospective partner. She’s his sisters best friend and that bothers me a little bc I feel like I’d have to see her when we go to gatherings. At the time they were supposed to link up I was okay with it, but months have past and we’re still closed and she hit him up after flaking on him at the intended time. He’s showing signs of still wanting to take a whack at her. I’ve expressed my concerns, and it’s just after all this time it’s weird, and the way he’s responding indicates he was effected by her flaking and that he {wishes} it would have happened. I’m trying to calm my thought and handle it. I know that if I set my boundary and he disrespects it, that’s a reflection on him. I have no control over what he does, just what I feel about it and what I do about it. I’m just trying to remain calm and handle the feelings arising. Thinking he feels like he missed out has me pretty low, SHE flaked on him and made him feel bad. She doesn’t deserve his desire IMO. But I can’t convince him of that if he doesn’t feel it himself and I can lay my boundaries clear but I worry about deep seeded resentment or something festering inside regarding it. Now I feel if we see each other they’ll just be fired up and I can’t stop that. I see how my issue is wanting to control something out of my hands...
Thanks for reading this if ya did.
#Polyamory #Depression #Mindfulness #Anxiety #controlissues