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Valentine advertisements are the worst /vneg | TW exclusionism/amatonormativity, some all caps, almost breaking something

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I freaking HATE them, especially if you’re in a non-monogamous non-romantic relationship (but NOT FRIENDS). They are meant to be love-exclusive, heteronormative, and monogamy-exclusive as much as they possibly can and it makes me sick and drives me crazy to the point where I almost broke my computer screen this morning because of seeing another stupid advertisement (no worries, it’s fine)! I hate the alternative title “Single awareness day” because it further proves the belief that Valentines is “oh so romantic” and plus while many single individuals don’t really care, some are making themselves and others feel bad because of the standard belief of “being in a relationship” when they are valid with OR without a partner(s).

Valentine’s Day does NOT have to be a romantic holiday. Plus, not every experiences love, whether that be romantic, platonic, familial, or whatever. Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be for everyone because it isn’t even FOR everyone, so society needs to STOP PUSHING IT DOWN OUR THROATS AND LEAVE US THE FRICK ALONE!

#Anxiety #anger #ValentinesDay #MyAutismIsNotADisorder #SocialAnxiety #valentine #Love #DearSociety #Stress #Polyamory #Vent #StopThis #Exclusionism #amatonormativity #LGBTQ

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Dear Society, queerplatonic relationships are not “just friends” | TW some all cap text, misconception

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Firstly, what is a queerplatonic relationship, you may ask?

It is defined as a relationship that bends the norms of what is considered romantic and platonic in today’s society. They can look different depending on the individuals partaking in them, but they often (though not always) involve some sort of high level of commitment. They are often partaken by individuals who identify as aromantic (having a lack of romantic attraction) and those on that spectrum, but they are not exclusive towards them.

I’m in 7 queerplatonic relationships (with everyone’s consent). I am polyamorous. We are NOT friends, but we are NOT romantic, either. We are MORE than friends, but still not romantic. Call us queerplatonic (QP) partners, or just partners, NOT friends or romantic partners.

It always freaking sucks whenever someone calls us “friends” even though we are much more than that… /neg

#queerplatonic #Relationships #LGBTQIA #LGBTQ #Polyamory #sad #Misconception #Partners #multiplepartners #notromantic #notfriends #QueerplatonicRelationships #asexual #Society #aromantic #aroace #polyamorous

4 reactions 3 comments
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A poem on feeling ignored by this planet | TW for ignorance and misrepresentation on different topics, swearing, the word k*ll (i)

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It hurts,
It fucking hurts.
It kills,
It always did.
Sad excuses left and right,
Ignorance is left to bite…
Me.
And Us.

“Systems and plurals are crazy,”
According to this planet.
“There’s only men and women,”
According to this planet.
“There’s only heterosexuality,”
According to this planet.
“Sex define your gender identity,”
According to this planet.
“There’s only monogamy and monoamory,”
According to this planet.
“White folk deserve more than those of color,”
According to this planet.
“There’s only romance and friendship,”
According to this planet.

“Everyone’s autism is a disorder or disability,”
According to this damn planet.
“Neurodivergent folks are too loud,”
According to this damn planet.
“Fat folks are a joke,”
According to this damn planet.
“Sex and romance and love is natural among all beings,”
According to this damn planet.
“Adults can’t cry,”
According to this damn planet.
“Mental health is selfish,”
According to this damn planet.
“Trigger warnings are a joke,”
According to this damn planet.
“You should stop being poor and pay more,”
According to this damn planet.
“Everyone should identify as a human being and alterbeings, otherkin, and fictionkin folks are snowflakes and ‘cringe-worthy’,”
According to this damn planet.
“Anything that is not seen as ‘normal’ or not common should be stigmatized and criticized until it makes other folk want to closet themselves for eternity and be forced into this void of hell called “being like everyone else’,”
According to this damn forsaken planet.

Past mother’s self,
Mentally abusive.
Keeps me up,
As thoughts are still intrusive.
New mother’s self,
No longer abusive,
Past mother keeps me up,
As they are still intrusive.

Fuck ignorance.
What’s it ever done to us?
Take the Mars and Venus symbol,
Combine them together,
And destroy it altogether.
Neither are truly me.
Take the “human” label and wash it away,
And don’t tell me I’m human,
Else I will cry,
I’ve cried too much.
Alterbeings exist anyway.
An alien hybrid trapped in this damn realm called Earth,
I love space,
I miss my home,
It was much more quieter than here,
Much more sensical than here,
Much more reasonable than here,
Much… less ignorant.

Than here.

——

I am a non-binary transmasc overweight individual who is part of a system/plural. My pronouns are he/they/it, and some others. I do not identify as a human, I am alterhuman/alterbeing, although I still identify as someone of color. I’m black/mixed. I have 6 non-romantic partners who I all love equally with my entire heart and are also part of the same system I’m a part of, they are as real as ever. Also, I despise my autism being called a disorder or disability.

And I’m so sick of feeling ignored, and of what Earth had to offer for the past 20 years of my life on its ground. Thank you.

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #nonbinary #LGBTQIA #ignorance #Poem #Vent #TW #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #Alterhuman #otherkin #Racism #Capitalism #Trauma #Polyamory #system #plural #EndTheStigma #GenderIdentity #GenderDysphoria #MentalHealth #Awareness #earth #Homesick #StopSilencingUs

13 reactions 3 comments
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Help #Polyamory

I can’t stand that my husband is polyamorous. I feel “less than” because he loves his partners and wants relationships with them. He won’t stop. I asked him. He says this is who he is now. We opened our marriage a year ago and I was ok with it all at first but I’m not ok with it anymore. I could go back to being monogamous. But I’m stuck. I’m running out of hope.

4 reactions 2 comments
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Polyamory and jealousy

Hello! I’m new to The Mighty and almost new to polyamory. A year ago, my husband and I decided to open our marriage. He decided he is polyamorous and I decided I am just ENM. At first I didn’t think anything about it but recently (the last month or two) I got really upset and jealous of him and his other lovers. I got jealous because he fell in love with one of them and gave her a small gift for Christmas. I didn’t like that he gave her such a thoughtful, meaningful gift. It was just a small stuffed bee (representing their first date at a meadery) but it hurt me because it was so thoughtful. I felt like my heart broke. I’m not perfect. Far from it. I lied to him about meeting my first partner at a coffee shop and instead went to his house. I know now how stupid that was of me. That was my first experience with ENM and I was nervous and afraid to admit that I was going to someone’s house instead of meeting him in public first. There were two other instances where I lied/omitted the truth. Needless to say he doesn’t trust me now. Sorry if this post is too long and you’re wondering what the point is. My point is how do you deal with jealousy of your polyamorous partner?

#Polyamory #Jealousy #ENM

2 comments
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Sh*t, I’m sinking

I’ve been coming out of a depression phase and feeling really good. Long story short my guy and I were once open but we closed ourselves up to clarify and strengthen some boundaries. We were to open up again, but there is something that’s bothering me about a past prospective partner. She’s his sisters best friend and that bothers me a little bc I feel like I’d have to see her when we go to gatherings. At the time they were supposed to link up I was okay with it, but months have past and we’re still closed and she hit him up after flaking on him at the intended time. He’s showing signs of still wanting to take a whack at her. I’ve expressed my concerns, and it’s just after all this time it’s weird, and the way he’s responding indicates he was effected by her flaking and that he {wishes} it would have happened. I’m trying to calm my thought and handle it. I know that if I set my boundary and he disrespects it, that’s a reflection on him. I have no control over what he does, just what I feel about it and what I do about it. I’m just trying to remain calm and handle the feelings arising. Thinking he feels like he missed out has me pretty low, SHE flaked on him and made him feel bad. She doesn’t deserve his desire IMO. But I can’t convince him of that if he doesn’t feel it himself and I can lay my boundaries clear but I worry about deep seeded resentment or something festering inside regarding it. Now I feel if we see each other they’ll just be fired up and I can’t stop that. I see how my issue is wanting to control something out of my hands...
Thanks for reading this if ya did.
#Polyamory #Depression #Mindfulness #Anxiety #controlissues

2 comments
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Need a Little Help

so i found myself in a situationship (not saying it was right or wrong and no judgement plz), me and this man fell in love and he wants to try this way of living because while he cannot be without me he also doesnt want to leave the one he is with..he or i didnt know it was trally possible to love two people at once but he does and im not sure how to love a man like this..society has taught me 'mine, dont touch..its wrong, ect' and yet..🤷🏻‍♀️so if anyone has helpful guidance for me going forward cause im going to try i honestly love him too much not to..
#Polyamory

2 comments
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Borderline and Empath Relationships

I've recently come to the decision that for me ethical non-monogamy is key for me. As pwBorderline it sounds counterintuitive; however I recently realized that I don't need a FB because I FINALLY found a group of friends that see me for me. I can't expect one person to give me everything. It is a freeing feeling.

Now the issue I'm coming across empaths as potential partners. I'm seeing one woman who is a healer/ empath. I told her as soon as she said it to not try to heal me because it would break her. We communicate well. There are some small borderline things that always come up. (Super proud I didn't over share.) It gives the impression that I want a relationship. (Never again)

So my question is this: does anyone have any experience in a borderline/ empath relationships?

#BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #empath #Relationships #Bpdrelationships #boundaries #Polyamory #learning #growth

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#Depression and #Polyamory

I'm #polyamorous and#depressed as hell. Watching each of my boyfriends' approaches is fascinating. One is determined to be there for me and do whatever he can to alleviate my pain. The other finds it harder to sympathize (I think because he's afraid of pitying me), but is down to get into the nitty gritty of emotional evaluation and growth talks. I've always said one of the perks of #Polyamory is that your partners can coordinate and tag out so they don't get burnt out on supporting you... Now if only I can keep my #PTSD and #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder from driving these two wonderful men away. :(

3 comments
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Polyamory & COVOD-19 #Polyamory #MoodDisorders

Hello! I was wonder if there are any poly friends with mood disorders/severe depression in this community.

I've been married to my husband for 9 years, and I've been with my girlfriend for 6 months. I live with my husband, but my girlfriend doesn't live with us.

With social distancing due to the Coronavirus, I was wondering how everyone in the poly community is coping with their partners who aren't at home with them!

I think the best way to go about this is to come up with a schedule for us to make sure we check in. Thoughts?

Thanks!

#LGBTQA

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