About two weeks ago now, I made the brave decision to call the Crisis Hotline. And through therapy dealing with those issues that caused me to be have two plans in place. My husband is the first and last line of defense, my superhero and the reason I called the hotline. He's my reason to keep living. Been dealing with issues resurfacing dealing with my ex-husband, who was an abusive and manipulative, narcissistic sociopath. It is because of him I am afraid of fire generally, afraid of sharp implements, and can't be touched in certain ways. But we, my husband and I stepped away from a weekly dungeons and dragons campaign that is literally within walking distance, because between my resurfaced issues, there is a lot of stress from both our crap jobs, helping my mom who we are finally on a straight forward healing path that includes helping her move back to an area she liked more than the one she is in now. I can't thank enough to the person on the other end of the line, and two close friends that day for helping both myself and my husband mentally and emotionally. I'm doing better and oddly talking about it and the strengthening of not only my relationship with my husband but also my faith has helped. Taking one day at a time and even getting a vacation for the first time in 7 years here in the next week. That will certainly help not only get my mom moved but also help me breathe. Also job opportunity has presented itself to me, awaiting time to do initial zoom interview. The position starts in March but I went ahead and sent my resume in way ahead of time. I'm letting the Goddess and the universe do its thing at this point, and sending all the good vibes out to it that I can spare.

#SuicidePrevention #mentalhealthmatters #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #PTSD #GoodVibes