Suicide Prevention

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Suicide Prevention
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    Reflections: Suicide Attempt and Suicide Prevention #Hope

    2019 was a rough year for me. The abuse I was experiencing came to light, my family turned against me, I was abandoned by a family member. I was harming myself and attempted suicide. I was hospitalized for a week. I was diagnosed with PTSD. I nearly lost my apartment and was homeless. I had no family and hardly any friends. I struggled to survive on a daily basis, not just financially but mentally too. I felt totally helpless, lost, defeated and unloved. I started to think that it was all my fault, the abuse, abandonment, the struggles afterwards. It amazes me sometimes that I’m still here. Working, living, thriving despite it all.
    But as the picture says, suicide prevention starts with all of us. Perhaps if I had never been abused and abandoned then maybe I wouldn’t have harmed myself and tried ending my life. It still scares me that I could’ve died. It scares me more to think that no one in my family would’ve cared. Yet I try not to dwell on the past. What I am getting at is that suicide and suicide attempts can be prevented. I now realize how blessed I am to be here. To be loved and to be alive.
    I have a new family now that loves me despite my past and that means so much to me. It has helped me heal tremendously. Though on my dark days I still struggle with dark thoughts I know that I am no longer alone. Sure I struggle with abandonment trauma and that is totally founded given that I was physically abandoned. Yet, I am still here. So if you think that ending your life is the only option like I did at one point, just remember that help is available. Your life is precious. I won’t tell you to think positive because I know in that mindset that is near impossible. However I will say that my suicide attempt taught me to appreciate life.
    I hope that if you are struggling with those thoughts that you have the strength to reach out. To a professional or even a friend. Sometimes those late night conversations are all you need. I still wish someone had been there to hug me and tell me everything was going to be okay and that it wasn’t my fault. So if you are struggling, know that we are here for each other. If you need immediate assistance please call an emergency number or suicide hotline. You have so much to live for and are loved beyond measure even if you don’t see it. So don’t focus on the ones that hurt you, there is someone out there that is glad you’re alive today. I know I am.
    Stay strong warriors! We got this!
    #PTSD #SuicidePrevention #SexualAbuse #EmotionalAbuse #Hope #healingispossible

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    Taking time and processing past traumas and new ones #mentalhealthmatters #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #PTSD #crisishotline

    About two weeks ago now, I made the brave decision to call the Crisis Hotline. And through therapy dealing with those issues that caused me to be have two plans in place. My husband is the first and last line of defense, my superhero and the reason I called the hotline. He's my reason to keep living. Been dealing with issues resurfacing dealing with my ex-husband, who was an abusive and manipulative, narcissistic sociopath. It is because of him I am afraid of fire generally, afraid of sharp implements, and can't be touched in certain ways. But we, my husband and I stepped away from a weekly dungeons and dragons campaign that is literally within walking distance, because between my resurfaced issues, there is a lot of stress from both our crap jobs, helping my mom who we are finally on a straight forward healing path that includes helping her move back to an area she liked more than the one she is in now. I can't thank enough to the person on the other end of the line, and two close friends that day for helping both myself and my husband mentally and emotionally. I'm doing better and oddly talking about it and the strengthening of not only my relationship with my husband but also my faith has helped. Taking one day at a time and even getting a vacation for the first time in 7 years here in the next week. That will certainly help not only get my mom moved but also help me breathe. Also job opportunity has presented itself to me, awaiting time to do initial zoom interview. The position starts in March but I went ahead and sent my resume in way ahead of time. I'm letting the Goddess and the universe do its thing at this point, and sending all the good vibes out to it that I can spare.

    #SuicidePrevention #mentalhealthmatters #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #PTSD #GoodVibes

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    Trigger Warning ⚠️ What helps you with chronic suicidal thoughts but no plan to act on them?

    Thank you for any help sometimes I feel like I can’t cope well with life or when things get dark I get like that but I don’t want to go back to past attempts like I have, reaching out for help but curious for those who can relate to having those thoughts 💭 at times when life is a bit of a mess

    But do your best to ignore them. What helps you cope or accept them. Besides reaching for help which is always the best to do so you’re not alone.

    #question #chronic #SuicidePrevention #MentalHealth #forum #thanks

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    I’ve got a story to tell

    This is a story about the power of time. They say that time can heal all wounds. While I’m not positive that is 100 percent correct, the ones it doesn’t, time helps you learn to live with.

    For me, time legitimately changed what the truth is. For nearly 4 decades, you could’ve said any hateful adjective or insult to describe me. You could say I was a poor, angry, trailer park, white trash loser, with absolutely no future, among countless other things. You would’ve been 100 percent correct, for nearly four decades.

    Until, one day, to no one’s surprise more than mine. You would be dead wrong. Without me even realizing it, somehow mine went from a story of seemingly endless struggle, pain, sorrow, and loneliness to become a story of perseverance, fulfillment, and personal triumph.

    “Money doesn’t buy happiness” is something I believed and would spout off about to anyone that would listen for the majority of my life. I still believe that at its core, but a modified version. When you come from poverty, a level of poverty that is hard for most people to truly comprehend, not having to spend every waking second worried about money and how I’m going to stay afloat in the moment, with absolutely not even a thought about my future, has changed my life. It has allowed me to let go of lots of anger and resentment I had towards the entire world and grow in so many areas of my life that I had been neglecting or downright ignoring the existence of. I am without question a better person today. I am a better person to myself and to other people. Isn’t that what life is about?

    The purpose of me sharing all of this is because if I can change my life, so can you. There is no reason I should be anything but the angry loser I was my entire life.

    I am one of 9 kids to 2 teenage parents without even High School diplomas and only one of them worked. Being teenagers themselves when they started a family, they had no idea of the world and hadn’t lived at all themselves to know enough to be able to offer the type of care and support that children need. The combination of extreme poverty(by American standards) and the complete lack of parenting and support that I needed left me angry, insecure, and directionless. I, myself, only have a South Florida public HS education. I have no special skills or talents that make me any more valuable than the most basic and mediocre amongst us. Yet, somehow, I not only overcame all of that, but for the first time in my life, the thing that seemed so far beyond my reach that to even dream about it seemed foolhardy, is happening. I am thriving. I made more money this year than I ever imagined possible for someone like me. I have a career. I took more vacation time this year than in any 2 years prior. I am able to travel. I will be able to retire one day. All this has allowed me to achieve more personal enlightenment, satisfaction, and happiness than I ever knew was possible. Just because I’m not stressed every second and angry about how far behind in life I started than most others.

    So how did all this happen?


    I just needed to keep showing up. Not to say it was easy or that I ever believed it would happen. I wanted to give up more times than I can count. There wasn’t more than a handful or two of days between age 15 and 38 that I didn’t consider killing myself. But, despite everyone my whole life telling me I wasn’t confident, I refused to give up on myself. Maybe I didn’t believe that things would get better, but with all the shit I had been through, I didn’t want whatever the final straw it was that beat me to be the thing that I couldn’t overcome.

    I know what you’re thinking, that I need to give myself more credit. That I must’ve done something or worked hard enough to get to this point. That’s kind of my point though. I am not special. Working hard and to keep showing up takes absolutely no skill or talent. It’s the only reason I can do it. The only thing I will say that I did different to start this change in my life was to take a chance that things could be better for me elsewhere with a fresh start. I got an opportunity and finally didn’t blow it. Aside from that, I just kept showing up and working hard….and let time take care of the rest.

    Keep showing up for yourself


    #MentalHealth #Depression #SuicidePrevention #overcome

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    #Depression #depressionawareness #MentalHealth #mentalhealthmatters #MentalHealthAwareness #SuicidePrevention #Suicide #Viral #viralvideo

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    Hello my followers, Here is a little inspiration for your week ahead! Remember that you are important and your life has value #MentalHealth #SuicidePrevention

    37 reactions 15 comments

    It doesn’t always look like darkness
    Sometimes it looks like dance
    Like joy
    Like syncopated rhythms
    Like grace
    Like choreography channelling
    Ancestor’s dreams

    Sometimes we get so good
    At the act
    At the entertainment
    At wearing the mask
    That we can fool ourselves
    A little bit
    Long enough for the public
    To believe
    That we
    Have it all together
    That the airbrush portrait
    Is real
    The Instagram smile
    Is permanent
    The the steps aren’t automatic
    That happiness 24/7 isn’t toxic
    But the truth is
    Living is hard
    Lonely is real
    Grief is too heavy to hold
    People don’t check
    On the strong friends
    The smiling friends
    The dancing friends
    The friends who look like
    They are on top of the world
    Looks are often liars
    Hopelessness can grow
    Like weeds in the most beautiful
    It doesn’t always look like
    And it’s so hard to say the words
    Out loud
    “I need help
    This is too much
    I don’t want to try anymore”
    Because we clap for stunning
    Clap for the performance
    And ignore those in pain
    It doesn’t always look like darkness
    Sometimes it just looks like
    Our reflection
    In the Mirror
    Sometimes it’s just too hard
    To stay in the light

    If life feels like it is too much
    to take one more step
    let someone hold your hand while you walk
    You aren’t alone
    You aren’t the only one
    I’ve had those thoughts too
    You are not alone
    I promise

    National Suicide prevention life line 1-800-273-TALK

    #SuicidePrevention #Twitch #RiptWitch #restinrhythm

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    I can not do today. I have been struggling for weeks, but I keep pushing and shoving myself to keep going. I know the signs that I'm hurting, but "I'm doing so much better now" so I don't feel like I'm allowed to go backwards...I can't stay in bed anymore. I have come too far. I called out of work today because I literally couldn't pull myself out of bed. I can. I know I can, but today was too much. My head hurts from medication withdrawal because my shipment from the pharmacy is delayed and the migraine is making me feel sick. I feel hopeless and defeated, but still feel overwhelming guilty for taking time from work to try to take care of myself... if I had a stomach bug or the flu I wouldn't feel like boss never answered me. Never responded. Now I'm terrified for my job on top of it and I feel guilty, but still can't get out of bed.

    #MajorDepressiveDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder


    I may be done with posting

    So after event of today I am thinking about stopping my posting on here and my blog. I received a comment from someone, a lengthy one. Telling me that I use my blog to destroy others and masks how horrible of a person I am. The commenter said I am manipulative and don’t have a mental illness. The person stated all my suicide attempts were the result of be not wanting to take responsibility of m y action. They said I am selfish and that all I do is post lies and use post to make myself look better for my upcoming hearing. The commenter said that all the bullying I endured the past eight years was people seeing the real me. Also, that all the friends I lost were because they realized I am a horrible, manipulative human being. A final huge take away from the comment is that someone with as bad of a mental illness I claim I have would never be able to hold a job for eight years, graduate from college, or be able to get into nursing school. One other final comment was for me to kill myself and make the world a better place.

    I don’t really know what to say by the comments. They are extremely hurtful. I post on here and my blog to discuss thoughts and beliefs I have and as a may to talk about trauma I have endured through my life. I feel I have been devalued. I am just left speechless. I really need to sit back and think about if I want to continue because what if everyone that read anything I post on here or my blog in the same way. But I truly do get nice comments from people on here and on my blog.

    #MentalHealth #BipolarDisorder #cruelity #Blog #Suicide #SuicidePrevention

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    We Are Suicide Prevention #PMDD #MentalHealth #SuicidePrevention #TheMighty

    Someone said to me recently,
    'You don't find Suicide Prevention, It Finds You.
    Those words sent shivers through me, like I'd never expected.

    It couldn't be a truer statement.

    It was something, that as a young child, my family would never have thought they would need to equip themselves with; preventing my suicide. As an adult my husband needs to furnish himself with knowledge on how to prevent my suicide.

    People don't know how to talk to you afterwards, they look at you differently, treat you differently. They want to acknowledge what you have done, without actually acknowledging it.
    A fractured mind, a broken soul.

    There's a stigma attached to suicide within society.
    There's a stigma attached to hormones, mental health and menstrual health with society.
    Thankfully its felt by the few and not the many.

    Suicide Prevention is us sharing our stories, reaching others, creating those lightbulb moments & just listening & carrying the weight as a community when the burden of living becomes too heavy in this the cyclical life of PMDD, not just for us as #PMDDPEEPS , but for our partners, our loved ones, our children, our friends, family too, because they feel the weight of our condition as us also.

    We Are Suicide Prevention.

    #SuicidePrevention #PreventingPMDDsuicide #PMDD #PremenstrualDysphoricDisorder #MentalHealth #TheMighty #SuicideAwareness #Suicide #Depression #PmddAwareness #Hormones

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