It’s beautiful and sunny today, which is good because I need every mood boost I can get. On this day in 2019, my mother passed away. It wasn’t expected, just suddenly gone. I’ve done well with moving forward, but this is just a sensitive time of year. And then last night I found out that a cousin I was close with when we were kids passed away. Her situation was more expected due to cancer, but still very hard news to take. We were both victims of CSAM (child sexual abuse material) and other abuses, and we had planned to run away but got caught. For his own sick enjoyment, my father kept the camera that he had used, and when my mother passed away, my siblings and I came across the camera while sorting through belongings. I explained that I wanted to have it, and when I was alone, proceeded to smash it into a million pieces with a large hammer. Although that brought some satisfaction, I’m in a million pieces now and wishing my cousin could have had a better life. I was a crying mess this morning while listening to “Doll Parts” by Hole, and now I’m just numb. Thanks for listening. #Grief #PTSD #CPTSD #CSAM #Abuse #exploitation #SexTrafficking