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My Story...not exactly a happy one

When I was around 4 years old my father left. One of his friends, who was already a dad had stepped in on helping raise me; little did we know who he really was. My mom ended up dating him on and off for a little while, but even when they weren’t together I was calling him Daddy. This “Daddy” thing lasted until I was 10 because if I didn’t call him that, if I just called him “Dad”, he would get very angry. As said previously we didn’t truly know who he was. This man was and is a pedophile. He had sexually abused me for 5 years. It had started at age 5. He gave his son up for adoption when he was just a baby because he didn’t trust himself around his newborn son! These people are everywhere, and so many people have been abused, but are afraid to tell their story. I am here to say that your story is important, and it could save lives. I was molested, raped among many other things and I didn’t even know what was happening, or that it was wrong; it was just how I grew up. Around 5 years ago, he had told someone who told my mom, and it was at that moment he was out of my life. Months later I had talked to the police several times in attempt to get him arrested. It took what felt like forever to get him arrested, and then more time to get him into a prison. I have now decided that I want to make my story public, make it readable for people, make is so that people who are going through it or had gone through it to know that you can get past it, you CAN move forward. I have been in a psychiatric hospital twice, I’ve been in therapy for as long as I can remember, I have multiple kinds of hallucinations and have a tendency to push people away that care and fall for the tricks and manipulation of those who do not. I have let this man control me for too long, and in making my story public, I feel as if he’s not in charge anymore; I am. I have taken my life back! #Surviving #thriving #PTSD #Depression #Anxiety #dealingwithit


Counting the days

I’m waiting for my two appointments in the following days: my doctor’s follow up and my appointment to see the psychologist. I’ve had my good days, but I’ve been feeling unstable mentally and emotionally. I don’t feel that I’m good enough for anything or anyone. My fear of being left behind has gotten out of hand. I just feel empty and worthless. For a while now, I thought that I may have Borderline Personality Disorder along with my severe depression, but that’s my assumption. The emotional pain has been intense recently, but I’m trying to hold on. #MentalHealth #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #dealingwithit


Today I Am Grateful For

My warped sense of humor that helps me cope with all the overwhelming changes in my life because of Lupus & Bipolar Dis-order. #dealingwithit #52SmallThings

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