As I suffer from BPD, I obviously often have major rage outburst(and anger in general), not the ones where I get physically violent but I have a way with words, Obviously after episode is done, I have completely forgot all the terrible things I have said to my loved one and just feel guilty and ashamed..
Ive read some small articles how you should find things that would calm you down, like watching a movie, painting or going for a walk. Since I do all these things on regular basis, it doesn't work for me as way to instantly calm myself and get grounded.
So I started to think about my teenage years and what usually calmed me down back then and I realized its music!!
I do already regular listen to music, so that means my usual playlist is no good.
So I decided to try DEATH METAL, and you know what?! So far it helps! Every time I get angry, I just listen to that, cause someone else is doing all the screaming and banging and weird noises and it calms me down.
So my advice: If you feel like raging, turn on some death metal and let someone else rage in your headphones instead of you to a loved one!