depressionepisode

° When I Was Born... I Came Out A 2 Twin Premature.. With Lack Of Oxygen To My Brain... Cerebral Palsy ▪︎ Scoliosis... When I Was Six Year's Old I Went Through 6 Surgerie's On My Feet And Leg's... Which To This Day.. And All Of My 38 Year's Of Living Hasn't Helped Me.. At All But Suffer More Chronic Pain In My Chin's Where My Scar's Are And My Feet... I'm Also Deformed And Have A Broken Foot. That Doctor's Missed... I Can't Work With A Broken Foot It's Too Painful.. Doctor's Then Wanted My Parent's To Let Then Do Surgery On My Spine... They Said NO! Out Of Them Paralyzing Me Forever... I Take Over The Counter Medication... But With My Pain Level I'm Intolerant To The Medication Now. When I Accidentally Cut Myself I Cannot Feel Anything Until I See Red Or Feel Wet. My Level Of Pain Last's Up 2 To 3 Day's.. I Have To Crawl To Use The Bathroom Or Shower... Because My Muscle's And Nerve Ending's.. Don't Send Signal's Fast Enough Anymore... This Is Why I Have Major Insomnia And Mentally It's Taken A Toll On Me.. My Body Sux... My Brain Is Now Foggy And I Can't Remember Thing's Or What To Do Next.. I'm Extremely Fatigued All The Time... When I Do Too Much Task's At Work.. I'm Out Of Breath And Can't Breathe... But People Don't Fucking Care At All... This Is All Traumatic For Me.. Ever Since Being Sick With Covid. Idk If I Will Ever Get Out Of This # Deep Depression Episode It's Been 1 Month Already... And People Will Never Understand Me.. They Alway's Assume The Worst Out Of Me... And That's Truly Not Fair To Me... I Try My Best.... " • #depressionepisode •○•Skaoi Kvitravn ○•○

On Monday my emotions were going a mile a minute. The week before I was getting reports about my son really misbehaving in school. It wasn’t just him not following directions, it was him hitting his teacher and having angry outburst. I thought to myself why is he so angry there is absolutely no reason to be angry like that my husband and I don’t get angry at each other like that. I had a talk with him every day that week it felt like and it still didn’t seem to matter. Then Monday came and when my emotions were running high, I lost all control. I was so depressed that I started thinking there was no way I could get any better or that anything would change what was already going on. I cried for several hours and cried till I almost threw up when the feeling of harming myself was the only thing I thought would help me feel something different. I thought I was a loat cause. Now here we are two days later and I’m still stuck in this deep dark abyss of depression. My husband doesn’t see it the way I do and quite honestly he’s not even a big help or any help at all. It’s been three days now and I’m still stuck in this depression. I’m not sure how to get myself out anymore. I’m not sure what it feels like to actually be happy about some thing. I even got angry at someone on Facebook for something that is happy. #Depression #struggling