struggling

I had a confrontation with my dorm roommate the other night. We had an inside joke between the two of us, but I had reached the point where I no longer found the joke to be amusing anymore. I’ve made this known, with no effect; over time, my responses have turned more blunt, aggressive even. I’ve even made a few threatening statements; while I had zero intention of following through, my hope was that if he thought I would, then maybe he’d stop. Well, the other night, this reach a breaking point, and I actually literally yelled at him. He was clearly shocked, as he has yet to see me get to this point. I went to my room to cool off, and once I was sure he was back in his room, I came back out. After coming back out briefly, he said that he couldn’t wait until he was living somewhere where “he wasn’t’t physically threatened.” This statement gave me the impression that he was actually angry with me, so I left for a while to give myself — and him — some space. After a while, we did talk over the phone, and I came back to the dorm, Mountain Dew in hand as something of a peace offering . . . An olive branch, figuratively speaking. Nevertheless, I cannot shake the feeling of guilt that I’m experiencing . . . Even after he acknowledged that he’s no longer upset . . . Even after downing three shots of whiskey yesterday afternoon . . . Even after watching a movie last night at the movie theatre . . . For some reason, I cannot seem to forget what I did . . . Guess this is the disadvantage of morality and the curse of my ASD. #Autism #EmotionalDysregulation #anger #struggling #copingmechanisms

• " So Today I Did Some Register.. And The Rest Of My Shift Cleaned The Indoor / Outdoor Patio.. Restroom's. And Now People Are Trash Talking Behind My Back... That I'm Lazy And That I Don't Do My Job.. Like I'm Supposed To Do.. Well I Just Came Back To Work From Experiencing Covid... And Now I'm Experiencing Long-Covid Also.. And These People That I Work With Trash Me... And My Boss Is Also Trashing Me... When Is This Going To Stop.... I Can't Do Anything Fast Pace.. I'm Tired Of People Disrespecting Me... And Making Me Look Like A Liar."• #Depression ☆Skaoi Kvitravn ☆

I don’t think I actually am but sometimes I wonder, I know only a professional can diagnose me I think it’s just really bad highs and lows with life changes/ stressors etc. but it happens so often and during the week sometimes I don’t know if my extremes could be something else or not. Was just curious if others who know they have bipolar disorder or are officially diagnosed with it could explain a bit how it is for them? Thanks.

I’ll seek a psychiatrist or doctor to evaluate
Im only diagnosed with
GAD
And depression etc

Thanks appreciate any help.
I think I’m just having a tough time right now and I just need to get some help which I’m setting up, but just wanted to hear from others who do struggle with other disorders bpd, ocd, anxiety, depression, or in particular bipolar.

I’m pretty sure I’m having more than my one or two diagnosis but can’t tell what it is

Thanks for any help, but I will seek an evaluation and get some help to confirm. #Bipolar #Diagnosis #Unsure #confused #struggling #Trying #Crying #panic #Doctor #Psychiatrist #Hope #help #Depression #Anxiety #MightyTogether

Anyone totally crushed by learning tWitch took his life? I feel gutted by it. I can't function. But I feel like I have no right to my feelings because I didn't actually know him. I have been in an unusually extended dark place for a while now and this hit hard. I can't talk to anyone about it....no one in my life would get it and they would call my feelings selfish. Yet I feel incapacitated. #Twitch #darkness #struggling

I’ve been really sad lately, I wish I knew what was causing it but I have no idea. Just sucks being so close to the fun festivities. But my feelings are valid and im allowed to be upset or confused or even just a sad empty hollowness. It’s okay, sometimes I just need to feel like this whatever this even is.

The entire point behind my post on Instagram earlier today was that it’s okay to not be okay this close to the holidays and yet my family tells me I need to get over it and just be happy.

🫠

#ChronicDepression #Depression #Anxiety #AnxietyAttack #struggling #IfYouFeelHopeless #CheckInWithMe

For me mental health has been a tough battel for me. I have looked for many avenues to get a better grasp on my mental health. Some have been incredibly beneficial while others not so much. The concept and idea of therapy works for me, but unfortunately, I has a therapist right now that devalues my struggle and tells me that I have no mental illness and don’t need medications. Two of the things that have been most beneficial to me were creating my blog, bipolartater.com and creating YouTube videos to share my story. While they have not always been well received, read, or watched, it has been a way for me to get what is on my mind off my mind and into digital form. Lately, I have been slipping substantially and teetering on the edge of crisis. So, I decided to tell my story with my narrative about the huge mental health struggles that have truly impacted my mental health. Some people have been negative because of my voice which is not my fault as I need nasal surgery. But I just wanted to get my story out there as the media has decided to write their version of my story with no knowledge of me. So, if you want, please check it out. youtu.be/MeUrXHmYJ5k

www.bipolartater.com

#MentalHealth #Bipolar #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #Depression #PTSD #Trauma #Anxiety #struggling

#Depression #makeitstop #anger #Pain #Mourning #suicidalnotsuicidal #struggling

I've had depression almost as far back as I can remember. Wasn't diagnosed until after a parents suicide in my early 20s. I'm 45 now and have been struggling a lot the past year or so. honestly I really tired of being negative all time. I fell like I am bringing everyone else down with me. I've been having trouble controlling my anger too, something I'm not even sure where its coming from, sometimes its an obvious event, other times its just not being able to focus to send an email. I feel like everything is a struggle just to function 'normal' (event though there is no normal). I have never been one to shy away from telling others that I have depression and have always been an advocate to bring more awareness.

However this past year is taking its toll. Had to say goodbye to my dog/bestfriend/companion of 12 years years in June and I miss him more than anything. The fall/winter has always been the most most difficult time for me (there are about 8 friends/family members that have died in December alone (including my fathers suicide a week after his birthday); thanksgiving was the last time I saw/talked with him about 2 weeks prior to his death.

I'm scared of what the next couple of months will bring, who I will hurt, what property I may break. I do not have a positive outlook and can't see a future anymore. It's not really my pain I want to end, it's the pain i am causing to those around me that i need to stop

Everyone says to talk to someone, I feel like I have talked to so many therapists, counselors, friends , family , doctors and I still keep struggling. True some days are better/worse than others. I don't like to be around anyone anymore because I am that bump on a log around everyone, I am the one that never really has anything nice to say. I am the one lashes out in an argument and burns bridges. I am the one that causes a scene. I feel as I am the problem since I am the common denominator. I've lost so many friends, family member don't include me anymore. No one called for my birthday or my dogs passing besides my best-friend from high school and my boss (not my mother, sister, or cousins, or "friends").

I cant focus anymore enough to get anything accomplished. I feel like I'm dragging everyone and everything down with me. I am a sinking ship. I've never really been suicidal before but think it's inevitable at this point. I'm just tired of hurting people, so tired of this. I know if/when I die it will hurt those I love, but I cant see how my death would be worse than me continually hurting them the rest of my life. At least I wouldn't make things worse than they would be if I were around. So far I've been too chicken, but started thinking about a lot more.

How do you get this never-ending rollercoaster to stop?