I'm kind of in a funk at the moment. I think this may be my almost midlife crisis lol. I'm kidding, kind of. My birthday last week has hit me hard. I'm 31 and I'm just kind of feeling like I haven't done anything with my life. I have two ok jobs. Neither pay well. I'm bored out of my mind at my FT job.
I'm single, never been in a relationship, while 95% of my friends are married/ in long term relationships/ have kids.
And most of my friends seem to be doing great professionally: psychiatrist, cops, working for three letter agencies, military, etc.
I had such big dreams growing up and I just feel like I completely failed that kid. If I hadn't had all these medical problems/surgeries my plans wouldn't have had to change. And I just feel like I'm stuck and going nowhere.
I wish I had joined the military straight out of high school. I could be 11 years into a career.
Then I start thinking, well, get your ass in shape, hire a trainer, see if it's possible to still make that dream come true. Technically, I have just under three years til the cutoff. My doctors have always said that exercise could either significantly improve my health issues or even "cure" them.
I know. I'm talking crazy. I've lost my mind. There's no way in hell I could get into good enough shape. But in my craziness, I emailed three different trainers and have two consults this week and one next week.
I know that even if I go forward with this absolutely insane plan, my odds are slim to none. I just don’t think I’d be able to pass the medical screenings, but again, if I don’t try, I’ll just feel like I’ve forever failed that kid who dreamed these amazing dreams.
Please, no criticisms. #stuck #CheckInWithMe #struggling