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Opinion

Hey,
I don’t really know how to start, so I’ll keep it short.

I went through severe depression 4 years ago. I survived multiple suicide attempts. I saw different psychiatrists, but none of them really helped. They just prescribed medications to keep me stable, calm, and able to sleep (I also struggle with insomnia). I was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

2 years ago, after my last suicide attempt, I was admitted to one of the worst rehab facilities. It felt more like a prison. They kept me sedated with heavy meds just to keep me quiet, and the staff were manipulative, heartless, and abusive. They isolated me, made sure I couldn’t reach anyone. My dad managed to get me out after my sister panicked when they mentioned electroconvulsive therapy.

After I got out, I tried to act like I was okay. But I realized that no one from my old life really cared. Not one of the people I used to spend every single day with noticed I had disappeared for 4 months.

I got a job and met new friends who actually love and care about me, and I care about them deeply too.

My family loves me in their own way, I know that…But ever since my diagnosis, they’ve been emotionally pressuring me to “just be okay.” My mom cries constantly, and my dad just keeps checking if I’ve taken my meds. The moment they sense anything wrong, they panic. So I’ve learned to wear this mask..always pretending I’m fine, just to reassure them.

At the same time, they won’t let me live my life. I’m not allowed to go out with friends, work, go to the gym…even just take a walk. It’s like I’m being punished for not being okay before

But the truth is…I’m not okay. I haven’t been okay for a long time. I still suffer from psychosis and suicidal thoughts.

I’ve tried to go back to therapy, but here in Egypt, proper behavioral therapy doesn’t really exist. All I ever got was medication..no one taught me how to deal with what’s going on inside me.

So I’m asking now: would a life coach help? How do I even find a good one? Because tbh, it feels like this might be my last chance. #BipolarDisorder #MentalHealth

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What are your Hobbies?

I’m in search of a skill or hobbie. I been so irritated lately and depressed and sometimes I just need to focus on something else other then my mind and constantly being depressed. What do you guys do to help you ease your mind ? #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #Insomnia

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What is your window of tolerance?

I started an online course recently and this slide had a strange but significant impact on me.

I have been trying to figure out how wide my "Window of Tolerance" actually is? The first thing I realised was that it is by no means a static percentage. If I have had a bad hallucinatory attack and subsequently little sleep afterwards, the centre section becomes considerably smaller.

If I am rested and have had a positive day, it can increase exponentially.

But, the thing is..........I had never considered this before? I have struggled to identify triggers in the past but by considering when I am entering either the upper or lower zones (or in most cases, both), I am starting to feel like I have a better understanding of my emotions and when to put on the brakes and take some time out - just for me.

I am sure that many of you have seen this chart before and are already considering the benefits of awareness, but for anyone that hasn't, let me know if you find it useful in any way?

Sending out positive and caring vibes to you all and hoping that life is treating you kindly at the moment x

#PTSD #Anxiety #MentalHealth #Agoraphobia #Insomnia #PostTraumaticStressDisorder #PTSDSupportAndRecovery

(edited)
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I’m new here!

Hi, my name is strugglebus89. I'm looking for support to feel less alone and isolated. I'm a stay at home mom with an 8 year old and a almost 2 year old. My mental health took a tank from lack of support and my insomnia and depression medication change has been kicking my butt.

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #PTSD #ADHD

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Advice

Hey,
I don’t really know how to start, so I’ll keep it short.

I went through severe depression 4 years ago. I survived multiple suicide attempts. I saw different psychiatrists, but none of them really helped. They just prescribed medications to keep me stable, calm, and able to sleep (I also struggle with insomnia). I was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

2 years ago, after my last suicide attempt, I was admitted to one of the worst rehab facilities. It felt more like a prison. They kept me sedated with heavy meds just to keep me quiet, and the staff were manipulative, heartless, and abusive. They isolated me, made sure I couldn’t reach anyone. My dad managed to get me out after my sister panicked when they mentioned electroconvulsive therapy.

After I got out, I tried to act like I was okay. But I realized that no one from my old life really cared. Not one of the people I used to spend every single day with noticed I had disappeared for 4 months.

I got a job and met new friends who actually love and care about me, and I care about them deeply too.

My family loves me in their own way, I know that…But ever since my diagnosis, they’ve been emotionally pressuring me to “just be okay.” My mom cries constantly, and my dad just keeps checking if I’ve taken my meds. The moment they sense anything wrong, they panic. So I’ve learned to wear this mask..always pretending I’m fine, just to reassure them.

At the same time, they won’t let me live my life. I’m not allowed to go out with friends, work, go to the gym…even just take a walk. It’s like I’m being punished for not being okay before

But the truth is…I’m not okay. I haven’t been okay for a long time. I still suffer from psychosis and suicidal thoughts.

I’ve tried to go back to therapy, but here in Egypt, proper behavioral therapy doesn’t really exist. All I ever got was medication..no one taught me how to deal with what’s going on inside me.

So I’m asking now: would a life coach help? How do I even find a good one? Because tbh, it feels like this might be my last chance.

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Insomnia

I suffered from insomnia for the last two nights and this little kitty was lying right next to me, making biscuits on my arm, trying to calm me down. Such a little angel! His name is Mattie. #Fibromyalgia #Arthritis #EssentialThrombocythemia

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The Build Up, The Break and The Healing

Days when Appetite is lost, Insomnia creeps in- wait I’ve taken my meds consistently, so why?! The oval, or rectangle, or triangle, or circle …or..whatever shape to navigate your highs and lows and I call it neutral state but recently have discovered it’s also called baseline. Oohhhh the sweet Bitterness of Baseline. I’m bored. I’m not hypomanic, nor depressed just — flatlined. I don’t feel here nor there. Just content. I refer to it as “going through the motions” and at least I’m not doing X,Y,Z - right?! In this space of Baseline I sit. I fully give into the Stillness of Nothingness. Salt lamp is always on, sometimes white candles are lit, sometimes Nag Champa is burning. Heck if I’m lucky I’ll blog or journal! Wow! Those are the good baseline days. How do you cope with the waves within your shape? What brings you joy within your baseline or “neutral” days?

#MentalHealth #BipolarDisorder

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I’m new here!

Hi, my name is Velvet. I'm hehe because I am a survivor of long-term domestic abuse, violence and coercive controlling relationship.
Unfortunately, I was not able to access the support I needed since I left my ex-partner and the emotional and psychological impacts have been significant and overwhelming in my life. I struggle with anxiety, sleep/eating issues, insomnia, daily functioning, and feelings of insecurity.

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #cptsd #EatingDisorder #Abuse #Trauma

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The Mornings I Keep Awaking

If you are like me, you might struggle to fall asleep and stay there. It is a pure challenge for me, as I have worked to figure out why it happens. I am unable to figure out why. It is as if something of someone wakes me up, and it takes an effort to go back to sleep.

.I know that sleep is important, but a large part of me wishes I did not have to sleep. I always felt that way. I experienced insomnia for many years. #Insomnia and #Anxiety have always held hands with one another at night. While it takes a bit to sleep, it also takes a bit to handle my #Emotions to calm myself before I sleep.

Anyway.
I am going going to try and sleep again. Thank you all for listening.

Love,
Vally

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