developmentallydelayed

#veteranwifelife is NOT easy. Nothing about it is easy and it is often #drainingonmultiplelevels .I am a mom, a wife, a caregiver, an advocate, a teacher, a Nanny, an assistant.... I am these things for him and the four kids we have. This is work many get paid lots to do. I get no monies for this. It is not covered by the V.A. or insurance. I get no respite care, or breaks. My husband has been deemed #perminatelydisabled by the VA... but, only for #PTSD and not his other issues, as they have #refusedtoclaimthoseissues . The VA doctors have agreed and noted they are from him being a #combatveteran around guns and bomb... loud noises and super bright lights ( #nightblindness ).
Out of our four kids in the home... two are special in some form. #PTSD #Merld #developmentallydelayed #Autism #Dyslexia #ADHD #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #OppositionalDefiantDisorder #raynaudssyndrome

Once upon a time, babies, children and adults were diagnosed as mentally r-tarded. They were thrown into mental institutions. Parents, siblings and spouses were told there was no hope for those they loved who were r-tarded.

That time really wasn’t all that long ago.

The words “mentally r-tarded” have been replaced more recently with words like “intellectual disability” and “developmentally delayed”. Those new words are a much more accurate description of what life is like for people who have those diagnoses.

Unfortunately the word “r-tard” was adopted as a slur, essentially used to insult someone or something by comparing them to someone who is “mentally r-tarded”.

Confession - I used to say things like “that’s r-tarded” a lot. In fact one of my earliest roommates used to charge me 25¢ every time I used the word. I’m pretty sure she would have collected $5/week from me if I had ever actually paid her.

At the time, I didn’t understand what the big deal was. I didn’t mean it as an insult to people with disabilities, it was simply a word that I grew up associating as a synonym to dumb, or stupid.

But newsflash? It doesn’t matter if I meant it that way or not. That is the origin of that usage of the word.

We wouldn’t accept an argument like that to normalize other slurs. Racial slurs, ethnic slurs, slurs about someone’s sexual orientation or their religion... it doesn’t matter where or how you learned it, but it does matter that it’s insulting to the people that it impacts.

It doesn’t matter how deeply embedded into your mindset and language it is. What matters is that it’s hurtful to an entire population of people. People like AJ.

And yes, we may have learned some bad behaviors in the past, myself included. Sometimes those things are even so engrained that we don’t always catch them before they’re out of our mouths. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t actively work to stop using it and to educate yourself and others about the why behind the movement to end the usage of the “r word”.

#DownSyndrome #IntellectualDisability #Rword #SpreadTheWord #SpreadTheWordToEndTheWord #developmentallydelayed #trisomy21 #t21 #t21fam

*side note for those who want to argue for using the word to mean slow down - as in a musical sense or a speed sense - technically, that’s still an appropriate use of the word, though it’s a bit of a stretch since most people don’t use those words commonly anymore*