#ChronicIllness
I find when I'm struggling to keep myself together and when nobody in my environment is being particularly understanding of certain very necessary needs when I'm overwhelmed I tend to get in a very dark pitch black mood and the only way I've found that calms me down is to listen to very dissonant music until I fall asleep.
The artist who's music I find has the largest selection of dissonant music that helps is Tom Waits.

The difficulty with this is that everyone else in my family finds the music incredibly unsettling, which is understandable - it's music that doesn't sound good and isn't supposed to. I honestly don't know why it sounds so calming and helps me relax in those moments. Does anyone else have this experience with dissonant music helping them relax or calm down? Also, does anyone know how I can still use this coping mechanism without freaking out my family?

The song that I always listen to first before playing any other ones is Calliope by Tom Waits. It just feels the most relaxing when I'm at my worst. #dissonance #musicforemotions #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Selfcare